To the mama in the quiet house, 

I see you, I know you, I am you. I know you ache for your babies to come home. Maybe you are worried about them. Maybe the anxiety and the what-ifs are consuming you. Are they getting tucked in just so? Did they read enough? Did they miss me today? Will they forget about me? Am I being replaced?

RELATED: I Hope I Loved You Enough Today

Maybe they’ll be back in a few hours, or a few days, or at the end of the month. I know you are counting down the minutes until your arms and heart are full again. I know you never dreamed of this when you thought of having babies.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

A mama can’t turn her heart off. 

You try to stay busy to quiet the ache, but nothing seems to dull the agony of a quiet house. You read the books, do the therapy, exercise, and lean on your friends, but that ache is so persistent that at times you feel sick.

Mama, remember, these babies were created for you. They will run into the house and hug you and laugh. Maybe they’ll share hard things with you. Things that make you sad. But just having them near you will cause your mind to stop racing. 

You will sing a little louder, dance a little more, and love on them. 

You will find your strength to kiss them goodbye when they have to leave, trying not to let them see your sadness.

RELATED: Kids With Divorced Parents Will Be OK

You are a mamait doesn’t matter what percentage of the time. That part of your heart never turns off. It never lets go.

Love,
A mama trying her best

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Erin Mulcahy

Hi. I’m Erin. A middle school teacher and mom of two boys. Current obsessions include self-help books, laughter, coffee, friends, and the great outdoors.​​​​​​

As a Divorced Mom, Sometimes I Feel Like a Traitor

In: Journal, Motherhood

I feel like a fraud.  My house is clean. No toys on the floor. All the beds freshly made. Pillows perfectly placed on the couch. My house is silent. No cartoons blasting. No shouting for me to wipe a butt. No whining, wrestling, screaming, or crying. Just my selection of music and whatever show I feel like. I slept til 9:30 this morning. And yesterday, well I took a two-and-a-half-hour nap on the couch under the warmest blanket. Soon, I will go upstairs and take a long, leisurely shower. I am able to go to the bathroom alone. No interruptions....

Keep Reading

The Thing No One Tells You About Divorce

In: Living
Sad woman selfie

This is the part of divorce no one talks about. The more I’m forced to learn about divorce, the more I think it’s a lot like motherhood. No one tells you about the padsicles or how much labor actually hurts. They don’t mention the depth of the sacrifice you’ll have to make, or how you’ll sometimes wish you could have just one day in the life you knew before. If they did, you might wrongly believe you couldn’t do it, that you weren’t quite strong enough to survive all it would demand of you. You’d be wrong, but your fear...

Keep Reading

Dear Single Mom, Take the Family Photos

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother posed with three children, color photo

Every year in the fall, I poke around Facebook on all the local photographer’s pages looking for a mini session to book.  I’ve got a camera roll on my iPhone full of literally thousands of pictures of my kids. Around birthdays and holidays, I get out my fancy DSLR camera and take print-quality photos of them that are hanging around the house. Pictures with me? Those are almost exclusively limited to selfies. I used to ask my ex to take pictures of me and the kids to remember these crazy, little-kid years, but I almost wonder if he took horrible...

Keep Reading