Journal Relationships

To The Men Whose Wives Think They Do Nothing Right

To The Men Whose Wives Think They Do Nothing Right www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Stephanie Portell

Some men feel like they aren’t good enough, valued enough, or equally capable enough. Some men feel annoyed with their wife when it comes to parenting, and some men feel frustrated. Others just brush it off wishing she would just trust him while others take it personal resulting in a fight where he’s left disheartened about his parenting skills.

But it’s not always what it seems with us, it’s not always what you think. Sometimes we think you can read our mind and sometimes we expect you too after so many years. Sometimes when you are on the floor wrestling with a toddler while a 1st grader asks you repeatedly to play video games, we are reminded of why we married you in the first place, but sometimes we don’t say it. We know you know what you are doing.

We don’t check on our kids 50 times when we’re gone because we don’t think you know what you are doing. We know that they are probably having more fun having you all to themselves.

We don’t tell you the dosage of Motrin to give when they are sick because we think you are stupid and can’t read directions. We know you are better at measuring than we are.

We just worry. It’s our nature and we can’t help it. We can’t help that we love them – we can’t help that our worry is as strong as your wish that we would not text you continuously while you’re at home with them. 

We just want what’s best for them. We know you do too even though you let them stay up until 9 when bedtime is at 8. We even admire you for that. You do that because you love them and want to spend time with them, where as 10% of why we are strict on bed time is for alone time (okay maybe 50%).

We just care. We are mothers and even though some may think this means it comes natural it doesn’t always. You lucked out to marry such a caring mother just as much as we did to marry an amazing father. 

We don’t say it often enough, sometimes never at all but we know you do just as good of a job as we do. Even if it’s in a different way. Even if you answer our toddler every time he asks for candy instead of ignoring him like we told you to. Even if you make him follow the rules in public, inviting a tantrum when we told you to let it go so we could enjoy ourselves for once. 

You diverge from our path of what we think is the right way, the best way, and sometimes the only way, but that doesn’t mean we don’t think you know what you are doing. 

The truth is – we think you’re awesome. 

The truth is – sometimes you do it better than us.

The truth is – we know we are lucky and we know we should tell you more often.

Men and women are different, especially when it comes to parenting. We get anxious when our 3-year-old is on the playground – you say just let them live a little. We want to kiss every boo boo our son gets – you say it’s just a scratch.  These things don’t make either of us the better parent, or the smarter parent, or the right parent – they just mean we are two people with two different parenting styles who have to meet in the middle even if we are resistant and defiant on the path it takes to get there.

About the author

Stephanie Portell

A single mom to two boys and a part-time writer. I’m a lover of literature and bookstores. I write engaging content on parenting, child development, and anything that combines research and personal experience. I have also been a professional in the medical field for 10+ years and have written in the Medical niche as well. I’ve been published on Huffington Post, Disney’s Babble, Parent.co, WorkingMotherMag, BrainChildMag, Mamamia, The Good Men Project, HerViewFromHome, TheToddle, Scary Mommy, and several more. Proactive, witty, and innovative, I would love for you to check out my website at morethanmothers.com