So God Made a Mother is Here! 🎉

This is written to the moms of littles. The moms holding a baby in a front carrier (or in their bellies still) while also chasing toddlers, catching them before they run in the road or tumble down the stairs. The moms wrestling a one-year-old on the changing table in the Target bathroom while the ice cream melts in their cart. The moms wiping endless boogery noses and endless dirty butts, so much so that they are unfazed anymore by their children’s bodily functions. The moms up all night breastfeeding, changing pee-soaked sheets, and getting kicked in the kidney by their three-year olds.

The moms who never, ever get a break.

I know who you are. I know your life. I was you for a long time. I know how it feels in August, and then again in early January, and in the spring, when moms of older kids are celebrating. Their kids are going back to school. They raise their glasses in joy and pride that they survived the long weeks of noisy bickering over the iPad and wrestling matches that ended in bloody noses. They aren’t sure how they did it, as the days were long and exhausting, but finally the time has come to drop off their loud (but loveable) little buggers and enjoy a celebratory (and much deserved!) alone trip to Target, Starbucks in hand.

I know how you feel about those moms. You sort of want to chuck your lukewarm coffee at them don’t you? How dare they whine about being stuck in the house with their kids for a week or two or even a whole summer? I know, because that’s how I used to feel.

So I don’t begrudge you for it.

I know your life is one continuous loop of Groundhog Day. Up three times during the night, coffee at 5 a.m., chasing toddlers, nursing babies, maybe showering (probably not), cooking dinner, falling asleep on the couch, and repeat. Every day. Week after week. Month after month. Year after year.

I know what your days look like. I know that there are weeks when there’s no difference between Saturday and Wednesday and that you’re up at 4 a.m. some mornings, longing for the days of your youth when you didn’t know this was an an actual time to be awake.

I see you.

I see you, mom at the grocery store on a 25 degree day. I know how much work you put into bundling up that little boy riding in the front of the cart. And I see the baby in her carrier, wrapped head to toe in a blanket covered in spit up. I know you’re probably cold too, but a coat and hat for you was just another thing to worry about. You can’t imagine a grocery store trip without them hanging off of you. What must that be like?

I know there’s no break in your future. There’s no change coming anytime soon.

I know you won’t say things like, “Oh no. How will I manage all the kids home all day for the entire break?!” Because that’s your reality. That’s your every day. Seven days a week. 12 months a year.

I hear you.

I hear the resentment in your voice. I hear the jealousy.

I know you.

I was you.

I remember hearing comments like these and wanting to spit fire at these moms. Moms who had hours. HOURS to themselves every day. HOURS of quiet, with no one saying “Mommy” and demanding more milk–the blue bowl not the green one!–or asking you to play Candyland and watch Thomas the Train one more time. HOURS of personal space, of no one touching them, climbing on them, sucking on their nipples, watching them pee, and puking in their hair.

How dare they?!

How dare they complain about a two-week stint of having their kids around when come January 3, they can shower again. They can think again. They can be something other than a butt-wiper and crumb sweeper between the hours of 9 and 3. They can sit at their computer (like I’m doing now) and use their brains again.

I hated them and longed to be them. And now I am one of them. And I, too, wonder how I’ll “get through” the long winter break. And I joke about it on social media and laugh about how much wine I’ll drink after the long days stuck in the house with my three kids.

I got to the end of that tunnel, mommies. I saw the light. And it was glorious.

So I don’t begrudge you, moms of littles. If you want to hate me right now, you go right ahead. No hard feelings on my end. I’ll be here, waiting for you. And when you get to the other side and bring that last child to school in a few years, let’s get a coffee. My treat.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Karen Johnson

Karen Johnson is a freelance writer who is known on social media as The 21st Century SAHM. She is an assistant editor at Sammiches and Psych Meds, staff writer and social media manager for Scary Mommy, and is the author of I Brushed My Hair Today, A Mom Journal for Mostly Together Moms. Follow Karen on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/21stcenturysahm/, Twitter https://twitter.com/21stcenturysahm , and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/the21stcenturysahm/

Dear Teachers, Thank You Will Never Be Enough

In: Kids, Living
Kids hugging teacher

Growing up a teacher’s daughter has given me a lifetime of appreciation for educators. Of course, it’s true; I may be biased. I’ve been fortunate to have learned and been guided by many outstanding teachers, including my mother and grandmother, who passed those legacy skills onto my daughter, who strongly feels teaching is her calling. But if you’ve had your eyes and ears open in recent years, you, too, probably feel deep gratitude for the angels among us who work in the school system. So, as the school year ends, and on behalf of parents, grandparents, and anyone who loves...

Keep Reading

Before You, Boy, I Never Knew

In: Kids, Motherhood
Three boys playing in creek, color photo

Before you, boy, I never knew that little boys could get so dirty. Play so rough. Climb so high. Assess your risks. Make me hold my breath. Messes everywhere.   Before you, boy, I never knew how much my lap will make room for you. My arms will stretch to swallow you up in endless hugs and just hold you close. And love you to the moon and back. And back again. Snuggling and snuggling.  RELATED: I Met a Boy and He Changed Everything Before you, boy, I never knew that there would be so much wrestling. And superheroes, and far-off...

Keep Reading

It Hurts Seeing My Kid as a B-List Friend

In: Friendship, Kids, Teen
Teen girl sitting alone on a dock

Kids everywhere are celebrating, or will be celebrating soon. They will be playing outside, enjoying warm summer days, bike rides with friends, and maybe even sleepovers. It’s summer—it’s fun, right? Sure, it is. And sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes it isn’t fun for the kids you least expect it from. We have that issue, and I knew it was building for the past few weeks with our teenage daughter. She was moody (moodier than normal). Short tempered. Obviously frustrated, but not ready to talk about it. But it was when she came home on the last day of school, in tears,...

Keep Reading

Dear Hunter’s Mom, What I Really Want to Say

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother holding toddler boy, color photo

Hi, I’m Krystal. I’ve wanted to say that every Tuesday and Thursday when I see you in the preschool hallway. I don’t know why I never say it. It might be because I’m afraid to. Maybe you just want to get the drop-off over with and get out of there. I get it. Hunter is crying . . . hard. People are looking . . . they always look. Your face is flushed, your jacket twisted. You are caught between trying to do what you are supposed to do and what you want to do. I can tell. I know...

Keep Reading

5 Money Tips to Set Your Kids Up for a Strong Financial Future

In: Grown Children, Kids, Motherhood, Teen
Father putting quarters in child's hand

As parents, we want to see our children become independent, but the transition to financial independence has unique challenges. I get it. I have three children of my own, and each of them deals with money differently. The transition can be especially difficult if you are a family that doesn’t talk openly about money. Regardless of whether money has been an open topic in the past, as your high school graduate moves on to the next chapter in their life, it’s important to help them start thinking about their financial future. College tuition, rent, and other expenses can be overwhelming...

Keep Reading

Don’t Tell an Anxious Child to Calm Down—Help Them Do It

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen, Tween
Child sitting against a wall with head in hands

She comes to me with teary eyes, a shaky voice, and stomping feet, “This is dumb! Everything is terrible! I’m never going to school again!” My 13-year-old daughter is prone to drama. It doesn’t take much for her to fly off the handle these days. One minute she’s happily crafting at the table and the next moment her mood has made such a drastic change I have whiplash from it. My first response is to say the easiest—and least helpful—words, “Just calm down.” But I know from my own experience that those words have never helped anyone just calm down....

Keep Reading

I’m Raising a Child Who Only Goes Full Speed

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little girl in yellow dress and sunglasses, color photo

If you’ve ever spent more than five minutes with my daughter, you will quickly see that she is always at a 10. Calm is not in her vocabulary or her existence in any form. From the moment her eyes open, she is on the move. Mentally, physically, all of it. Bedtime is when she shares her deepest thoughts and asks the kinds of questions no parent wants to deal with at the end of the day. And then, after what feels like hours of questions and songs, she’s on the fast track to dreamland and not even an earthquake could...

Keep Reading

I’m Still a Boy Mom Even Though I Had Girl

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mom with son and daughter laughing outside

I am a boy mom. I’ve lovingly held that title since 2014 when my first son joined our family. My second and third children were also boys, which secured my moniker. Boys are great! The rough and rowdy energy to play in the dirt, climb trees, and make engine noises for every moving thing fits my personality. I love being a boy mom!  For six and a half years, I was only a boy mom. But when other parents talked about ponies and princesses, I didn’t feel left out. Trucks and dirt filled my heart so there was no room...

Keep Reading

Dear Kindergartner, This Is Just the Beginning

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little girl with backpack, color photo

To my future kindergartner, I can’t seem to wrap my head around the fact that I really just wrote those words. It’s hard to grasp that your last day of walking out our door and into your little Pre-K class is coming faster than we think. But it’s almost here and there are a few things I need you to know even if you don’t fully understand them. Things that go further than ABCs and snack time. Know that you are brave. You are probably one of the bravest humans I have ever met. Your fearlessness is often the leading...

Keep Reading

Admitting Your Child Needs More Help than You Can Give Is Brave

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen, Tween
Young woman looking out rainy window

It had been nearly a year, and despite my best efforts and constant prayers, the tumultuous relationship with my daughter continued to be on a downward spiral.  I never knew what side of her I would get, some days she was the little girl I had always known, but most days she was a stranger. There were days at a time she refused to get out of bed, filled with little energy she was irritable, angry, and hostile. Followed by days at a time when she wouldn’t sleep, conversations with her were jumbled, and she spoke too quickly to keep up. She...

Keep Reading