By Wendy C 
I wish I were a fly on a wall in other people’s houses so I could observe what happens when their doors close to the outside world. To see how they navigate life. Not the curated version posted on social media, but the mundane, nitty-gritty real life that takes place behind closed doors. Their humanness.
A couple clashing over differing parenting styles. A husband and wife in a heated argument. A parent dealing with a rebellious child. Siblings fighting with each other. A bored couple wondering where the excitement went. A man or woman wondering if this is all there is.
The moments most people don’t talk about because they’re not cute or funny. The moments that may only come to light inside a therapist’s office. Or perhaps, in a conversation between trusted friends. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have that kind of outlet, though. Some people keep it all in because they’re embarrassed and ashamed, wondering if they’re doing life all wrong. That somehow, everyone their age got the memo and has everything figured out, except them.
But that’s not true, is it? There isn’t one way to do life, is there? There is no “correct” way. Until I married someone vastly different from me, and interacted with a family immensely different from the one I was raised in, I was ignorant of this fact.
I was always given a “prescription” on how to go about life. Study hard, graduate, get a job, get married, have kids. After I got married, I was still looking for that prescriptive kind of advice. Except now the advice was relational. Advice on how to be a good wife and a good mom.
Yet no matter how much I learned and tried to apply, I still felt I wasn’t doing it right. Everyone I knew seemed to have it all together.
Until a couple I thought would never get divorced…got divorced. Or that kid who seemed so cheerful and happy all the time was actually struggling with depression. That husband and wife who seemed so happy together? They were in therapy for years trying to salvage their marriage.
I didn’t know their humanness. I only knew half the story. I didn’t know the other part that stays behind closed doors. You never truly know the full story of anyone’s life. Even if you think you do, you probably don’t. There is likely information that you are not privy to.
So, the next time you start to question yourself or compare your life to someone else’s, remember there is more than one way. There’s no secret formula to doing it right. If you see someone who seems to have it all together and everything figured out? They probably don’t. And even if it seems like they do, you are likely not seeing the full picture. Because you never know what’s going on behind closed doors.
by Stephanie Hanrahan 
by Jelise Ballon 
by Mariel Hanna 
