Dear kids,

I know you love each other. I know you are both trying to figure out how to do life under the same roof and even support one another in your own meager ways. I see you both trying to be a good sister or brother, but the tension between you two seems to twist around every conversation these days. 

I know it’s hard to get along. I know you two are as different as night and day and it seems right now, every tiny little itty-bitty thing each of you does irritates the other to no end. The constant bickering back and forth is unnerving and honestly, disappointing. I expect better from both of you; however, I also understand that it’s these years where you are both growing in your own separate ways. I know you have different interests and different goals, different mindsets and different personalities that don’t quite intersect without some push and pull to be had. I get that. I really do.

But here’s the thing: you are connected for life as siblings and that is a gift you will someday appreciate.

I know it doesn’t mean much to you now, but just wait until your older and you’ll see . . . 

As you age, you will come to learn that what bugs you about one another now will be the very things you depend on in each other later. You will want your sister’s positive attitude when you are down in the dumps and need a lift. You will want your brother’s intellectual know-how when faced with hard problems you can’t solve on your own. You will grow to understand the need for your differences and be grateful for them.

You will enjoy one another’s company and realize you guys really do like each other more than you could ever imagine. In time, you will watch each other go through many new turns and changes, while your worlds expand and your lives evolve. You’ll begin to develop an innate respect for the bond of blood you hold, the treasure that is family. 

You will lean on each other when you are in the throes of looking for new jobs, entering new relationships or ending old ones, and facing an assortment of new challenges along the way. You will seek one another’s opinions and advice on so many things because trust has been built in the history you hold together. You will know one another’s story well and you will be each other’s safe harbor for secrets kept and sins forgiven. 

It’s what comes with this unbreakable bond, this sometimes complicated but always vital part of your lives that will never end.

You will embrace the unique traits you’ve been given and realize the potential and purpose that comes from them while cheering each other on as you both pursue your dreams. You will begin to cherish your time together, because it may be few and far between in your busy lives, possibly at distant places. You might even make major adjustments to your life to raise your families nearby so you can share life moments forever, while your kids grow up together. 

Your sibling relationship is a lifelong investment that will give you more return than any temporary thing that is pulling you apart now. Take time for each other in the midst of your busy schedules and other priorities. Remember that what you have is a lifeline, a bloodline, that should be kept in your highest regard. Because this season you are in will pass, friends will change, and your priorities will, too. New seasons will come with new interests, friends, and goals. Every season will bring about change as life’s constant flow continues.

But your sibling relationship is the one constant thread in this tapestry you will sew throughout your lives.

Don’t break that thread, don’t let it fray, for it’s push and pull will weave significant value into your lives. Don’t disregard the details of your every day lives during the time you have together under one roof, because it is flying fast and soon it will be over. 

So, my dear kids, try harder, okay? 

Don’t take these years, these moments, these fleeting opportunities for granted. They will be gone before you know it. These years will be left in the wake of your thriving independence and these memories can either display evolving solidarity or divisive conflict. You get to decide which option to fulfill. You get to choose how to write your sibling story together.

Make it a good one, kids.

You owe that to each other.

Love each other well, because being siblings is a gift.

You may also like:

Siblings Share a Bond For Life

A Tribe Called “Siblings” 

The Benefits of Having Kids Close Together that No One Ever Told Me

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Christine Carter

Christine Carter writes at, where she hopes to encourage mothers everywhere through her humor, inspiration, and faith. Her work is published on several various online publications and she is the author of "Help and Hope While You're Healing: A woman's guide toward wellness while recovering from injury, surgery, or illness." and “Follow Jesus: A Christian Teen’s Guide to Navigating the Online World.” Both books sold on Amazon.

To the Extended Family That Shows Up: We Couldn’t Do This Without You

In: Kids, Living, Motherhood
Family visiting new baby in a hospital room

This picture—my heart all but bursts every time I see it.  It was taken five years ago on the day our daughter was born. In it, my husband is giving her her very first bath while our proud extended family looks on. It was a sweet moment on a hugely special day, but gosh–what was captured in this photo is so much more than that. This photo represents everything I could have ever hoped for my kids: That they would have an extended family who shows up in their lives and loves them so deeply.  That they would have grandparents,...

Keep Reading

You’re Almost Grown, But You’re Always Welcome Back Home

In: Kids, Motherhood
Teen in room studying with computer and smartphone

Dear child, In the days before you could walk or talk, there were times when you would wail—when my rocking and shushing and bouncing were seemingly futile—but it didn’t matter. Each day and night, multiple times, I always picked you up and welcomed you back into my arms. As a toddler and a preschooler, you had some pretty epic meltdowns. There were times when you would thrash and scream, and all I could do was stand by and wait for the storm to blow over. Eventually, you would run to me, and I would welcome you back with a warm embrace....

Keep Reading

No One Warned Me About the Last Baby

In: Baby, Kids, Motherhood
Mother holding newborn baby, black-and-white photo

No one warned me about the last baby. When I had my first, my second, and my third, those first years were blurry from sleep deprivation and chaos from juggling multiple itty-bitties. But the last baby? There’s a desperation in that newborn fog to soak it up because there won’t be another. No one warned me about the last baby. Selling the baby swing and donating old toys because we wouldn’t need them crushed me. I cried selling our double jogger and thought my heart would split in two when I dropped off newborn clothes. Throwing out pacifiers and bottles...

Keep Reading

Parents Are Terrible Salespeople for Parenting

In: Kids, Motherhood
Tired mother with coffee cup on table, child sitting next to her

As the years of fertility start to wane, many of my childless peers are confronted with the question, “Should I have kids?” With hesitation, they turn to us parents who, frankly, seem overwhelmingly unhappy. They ask sheepishly, “Is it worth it?” We lift our heads up, bedraggled, bags under our eyes, covered in boogers and sweat and spit up, we mutter, “Of course! It’s so fulfilling!” It’s like asking a hostage if they like their captor. Sure, it’s great. We love them. But our eyes are begging for liberation. Save me, please. I haven’t slept through the night in years....

Keep Reading

Soak in the Moments because Babies Don’t Keep

In: Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Roller coaster photo, color photo

I love marking the moments, the ones that count—making a note and storing them for memory. But I often miss out on them when it comes to our oldest. ⁣ ⁣The day he wanted to be baptized, I was at home with another kiddo who was sick. He called me from church excitedly, emphasizing he was ready and didn’t want to wait. I couldn’t argue with that, so I watched him go underwater through videos my husband and sweet friends in the congregation took. ⁣ ⁣On the day of his fifth-grade graduation, we found ourselves at the pediatrician’s office. Instead...

Keep Reading

Sometimes a Kid Just Needs a Sick Day

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy outside, color photo

My middle son stayed home from school today. He said he was sick. I’m not sure that is the truth. I was lucky enough to have a mom who was an amazing caretaker, especially when you were sick. She pulled out all the stops. A cozy clean space to be, a thermos with ice cold juice by your side, Mrs. Grass’s soup, and Days of Our Lives on the screen while she tidied up the house. It was the best feeling in the world to be home and cozy with my mom when I was sick. It felt cozy and...

Keep Reading

Sometimes We Need Someone to Just Sit With Us in Our Struggle

In: Kids, Motherhood
Sad woman sits on floor, black and white image

Early this morning, I told (yelled is more accurate) my sons to get up with the same furious ferocity I use every morning when I realize they should be ready to go, but are still unconsciously snoozing away. One son lazily said, “I’m up, Mom” (even though he was very much not up). The other son, who typically has no problems getting up, had overslept and immediately freaked out, thinking he would be late to school. He proceeded to have a mini-meltdown from the dark recesses of his bedroom. That overflowed into the hallway where I found him lying face-down,...

Keep Reading

Daughter of Mine, Do Not Let the World Extinguish Your Fire

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and young daughter, color photo

Daughter of mine, I see the fire behind your eyes. Do not let it die. Daughter of mine who runs wildly and loves freely and whose anger is always whipping silently just under the surface like a pilot light, ready to ignite with one tiny spark. Do not let it die. RELATED: There is Wild Beauty in This Spirited Child of Mine Daughter of mine, one day you will become a woman, and the world will try to steal you and mold you and tell you who to become. Do not let it. It will try to fit you in...

Keep Reading

God Chose Me to Be the Mother of a Wild One

In: Kids, Motherhood
Woman holding child on the beach, black-and-white photo

It was just another typical fall morning. There was a time change so you were a little extra sleepy (also known as grouchy) but nothing too out of the ordinary. In a split second, that all changed, and the reality of what it is like to live with an unbelievably relentless little human set in like never before. I sat on your bedroom floor, laundry scattered all around, and literally watched my tears fall to the ground. I was on my knees. Physically on my knees just begging you to stop or begging God to give me patience. I don’t...

Keep Reading

I’m Raising a Fearless Daughter

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little girl on playground

Imagine you are at the playground with your kid(s), and you look over to see someone else’s kid launching themselves off the tallest tower on the entire playground. You feel your heart stop for a second, you suck in a sharp breath. You think to yourself, or maybe you even say it out loud, “Oh my gosh!” That kid—the one who is always finding the most dangerous way to do literally everything? That’s my kid. Truthfully, that’s both my kids, my youngest just isn’t tall enough to join in on the real danger yet. RELATED: Raising a Wild Child Is...

Keep Reading