Dear kids,

I know you love each other. I know you are both trying to figure out how to do life under the same roof and even support one another in your own meager ways. I see you both trying to be a good sister or brother, but the tension between you two seems to twist around every conversation these days. 

I know it’s hard to get along. I know you two are as different as night and day and it seems right now, every tiny little itty-bitty thing each of you does irritates the other to no end. The constant bickering back and forth is unnerving and honestly, disappointing. I expect better from both of you; however, I also understand that it’s these years where you are both growing in your own separate ways. I know you have different interests and different goals, different mindsets and different personalities that don’t quite intersect without some push and pull to be had. I get that. I really do.

But here’s the thing: you are connected for life as siblings and that is a gift you will someday appreciate.

I know it doesn’t mean much to you now, but just wait until your older and you’ll see . . . 

As you age, you will come to learn that what bugs you about one another now will be the very things you depend on in each other later. You will want your sister’s positive attitude when you are down in the dumps and need a lift. You will want your brother’s intellectual know-how when faced with hard problems you can’t solve on your own. You will grow to understand the need for your differences and be grateful for them.

You will enjoy one another’s company and realize you guys really do like each other more than you could ever imagine. In time, you will watch each other go through many new turns and changes, while your worlds expand and your lives evolve. You’ll begin to develop an innate respect for the bond of blood you hold, the treasure that is family. 

You will lean on each other when you are in the throes of looking for new jobs, entering new relationships or ending old ones, and facing an assortment of new challenges along the way. You will seek one another’s opinions and advice on so many things because trust has been built in the history you hold together. You will know one another’s story well and you will be each other’s safe harbor for secrets kept and sins forgiven. 

It’s what comes with this unbreakable bond, this sometimes complicated but always vital part of your lives that will never end.

You will embrace the unique traits you’ve been given and realize the potential and purpose that comes from them while cheering each other on as you both pursue your dreams. You will begin to cherish your time together, because it may be few and far between in your busy lives, possibly at distant places. You might even make major adjustments to your life to raise your families nearby so you can share life moments forever, while your kids grow up together. 

Your sibling relationship is a lifelong investment that will give you more return than any temporary thing that is pulling you apart now. Take time for each other in the midst of your busy schedules and other priorities. Remember that what you have is a lifeline, a bloodline, that should be kept in your highest regard. Because this season you are in will pass, friends will change, and your priorities will, too. New seasons will come with new interests, friends, and goals. Every season will bring about change as life’s constant flow continues.

But your sibling relationship is the one constant thread in this tapestry you will sew throughout your lives.

Don’t break that thread, don’t let it fray, for it’s push and pull will weave significant value into your lives. Don’t disregard the details of your every day lives during the time you have together under one roof, because it is flying fast and soon it will be over. 

So, my dear kids, try harder, okay? 

Don’t take these years, these moments, these fleeting opportunities for granted. They will be gone before you know it. These years will be left in the wake of your thriving independence and these memories can either display evolving solidarity or divisive conflict. You get to decide which option to fulfill. You get to choose how to write your sibling story together.

Make it a good one, kids.

You owe that to each other.

Love each other well, because being siblings is a gift.

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