I need you in my life. I really do love you.

See me as a leader. Give me opportunities to be in charge, but never tell me it’s ok to be in charge of you.

I need boundaries. I may hate them and I may rebel against them, but if you set a rule and a consequence, I need you to follow through.

I may say “I don’t care” when you follow through with a consequence, but I really do and I really need you to follow through whether I care or not. 

When you follow through, you not only build my trust, but you also earn my respect.

When you don’t follow through, I will take full advantage of this weakness in the future.

I will manipulate you to get my way, but don’t let me get away with it. Remember those boundaries you set are healthy for me and I really do need them.

You know what is best for me. I don’t. I know I don’t and yet I pretend I do, waiting for you to take charge. When you don’t, I actually feel very insecure.

Even though my will is strong, I am only a child. I am not the boss of you and I am not capable nor mature enough for that role, so please don’t give it to me. I will abuse that power.

You have authority over me. God gave that to you. He made you my parent and I want to look up to you for wisdom and guidance.

And I need your constant guidance, but not your constant punishments.

I need you to believe in me, see the good in me, and encourage me.

I want your attention. Positive, fun, let’s-just-spend-time-together attention.

I crave your time—your undivided-I-just-want-to-be-with-you-and-get-to-know-you-because-I simply-delight-in-you kind of time.

I need to know you are on my team.

I need to hear “Let’s figure out a solution together!” or “How do you think you should solve this problem and how can I help?”

I want to know you’re here for me.

I need your love. Your it’s-ok-to-make-mistakes kind of love.

I need to know your love remains constant even if I have blue hair or black nail polish. 

Please don’t just focus on my appearance or how pretty I am or how good at something I am. Focus on who I am.

I need to hear you love my character and what God put in my heart not just my performance in school or in a sport or in an activity.

I need you to lighten up. Please don’t take everything so seriously with me.

Don’t nitpick every little thing I do or I will just shut down on you.

Laugh with me and applaud me on small efforts.

Give me chances to try again. Teach me. I will learn.

Open my eyes to see how all you have to teach me helps me with my future. I need to know how I benefit before I will “buy” what you’re “selling.”

I need you to be flexible. Not when it comes to safety or character or making good choices for my life, but when it comes to little things that really don’t matter in the grand scheme of life. Please don’t pick every battle with me. 

I will do everything in my power to win each battle you do pick to fight with me, so be prepared. 

I will turn even the smallest request into the biggest fight you’ve ever seen. Choose wisely and prayerfully.

Know when to let things go and when to step up and fight for what is right for me and my life. Again, I will respect that even though I may act like I hate it.

I will exhaust you, but please don’t give up on me. 

Did you hear me? Please don’t give up on me. 

I need you in my life. 

I need you on my side.

I need your patience and your prayers. 

Please pray for me every day, every hour, even every minute. 

Pray the Lord leads me in the direction He wants me to go because I promise you this. . .

God gave me this strong will to change the world!

And I will do just that. . . if you will keep believing in me!

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Christine Leeb

Christine Leeb--Speaker and Christian Family Coach specializing in Parenting and Child Discipline.  Founder of Real Life Families--a non-profit organization building better families through free classes and resources.  Mother to three awesome (and exhausting) children from whom she shamefully hides brownies.  Wife to one patient (and polar-opposite) husband with whom she constantly quotes "Friends".  www.RealLifeFamilies.org 

Organized Sports Aren’t Everything

In: Kids, Motherhood
Young girl with Alpaca, color photo

Today I watched my little girl walk an alpaca. His name is Captain. Captain is her favorite. He’s my favorite too. I met his owner on Instagram of all places. She thought I was in college; I thought she was a middle-aged woman. Turns out, she is in high school, and I am a middle-aged woman. This random meeting led to a blessing. We call it “llama lessons.” We take llama lessons every other week. It’s an hour away on the cutest hobby farm. Our “teacher” is Flora, who boards her llamas at the alpaca farm. She wants to teach...

Keep Reading

I Had to Learn to Say “I’m Sorry” to My Kids

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen, Tween
Mom hugs tween daughter

My two oldest kiddos are at the front end of their teen years. I remember that time in my own life. I was loud, somewhat dramatic, I let my hormones control me, and I never—ever—apologized. This last part was because no one ever really taught me the value of apology or relationship repair. Now, I could do some parent blaming here but let’s be real, if you were a kid whose formative years were scattered between the late ’80s and early ’90s, did you get apologies from your parents? If so, count that blessing! Most parents were still living with...

Keep Reading

5 Things Your Child’s Kindergarten Teacher Wants You To Know

In: Kids, Motherhood
Child raising hand in kindergarten class

I am a teacher. I have committed my life to teaching children. Of course, before I began this career, I had visions of standing in front of a group of eager-eyed children and elaborating on history, science, and math lessons. I couldn’t wait to see the “lightbulb” moments when students finally understood a reading passage or wrote their first paper. And then I had my first day. Children are not cut out of a textbook (shocking, I know) but as a young 23-year-old, it knocked me right off my feet. I was thrown into the lion’s den, better known as...

Keep Reading

To the Extended Family That Shows Up: We Couldn’t Do This Without You

In: Kids, Living, Motherhood
Family visiting new baby in a hospital room

This picture—my heart all but bursts every time I see it.  It was taken five years ago on the day our daughter was born. In it, my husband is giving her her very first bath while our proud extended family looks on. It was a sweet moment on a hugely special day, but gosh–what was captured in this photo is so much more than that. This photo represents everything I could have ever hoped for my kids: That they would have an extended family who shows up in their lives and loves them so deeply.  That they would have grandparents,...

Keep Reading

You’re Almost Grown, But You’re Always Welcome Back Home

In: Kids, Motherhood
Teen in room studying with computer and smartphone

Dear child, In the days before you could walk or talk, there were times when you would wail—when my rocking and shushing and bouncing were seemingly futile—but it didn’t matter. Each day and night, multiple times, I always picked you up and welcomed you back into my arms. As a toddler and a preschooler, you had some pretty epic meltdowns. There were times when you would thrash and scream, and all I could do was stand by and wait for the storm to blow over. Eventually, you would run to me, and I would welcome you back with a warm embrace....

Keep Reading

No One Warned Me About the Last Baby

In: Baby, Kids, Motherhood
Mother holding newborn baby, black-and-white photo

No one warned me about the last baby. When I had my first, my second, and my third, those first years were blurry from sleep deprivation and chaos from juggling multiple itty-bitties. But the last baby? There’s a desperation in that newborn fog to soak it up because there won’t be another. No one warned me about the last baby. Selling the baby swing and donating old toys because we wouldn’t need them crushed me. I cried selling our double jogger and thought my heart would split in two when I dropped off newborn clothes. Throwing out pacifiers and bottles...

Keep Reading

Parents Are Terrible Salespeople for Parenting

In: Kids, Motherhood
Tired mother with coffee cup on table, child sitting next to her

As the years of fertility start to wane, many of my childless peers are confronted with the question, “Should I have kids?” With hesitation, they turn to us parents who, frankly, seem overwhelmingly unhappy. They ask sheepishly, “Is it worth it?” We lift our heads up, bedraggled, bags under our eyes, covered in boogers and sweat and spit up, we mutter, “Of course! It’s so fulfilling!” It’s like asking a hostage if they like their captor. Sure, it’s great. We love them. But our eyes are begging for liberation. Save me, please. I haven’t slept through the night in years....

Keep Reading

Soak in the Moments because Babies Don’t Keep

In: Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Roller coaster photo, color photo

I love marking the moments, the ones that count—making a note and storing them for memory. But I often miss out on them when it comes to our oldest. ⁣ ⁣The day he wanted to be baptized, I was at home with another kiddo who was sick. He called me from church excitedly, emphasizing he was ready and didn’t want to wait. I couldn’t argue with that, so I watched him go underwater through videos my husband and sweet friends in the congregation took. ⁣ ⁣On the day of his fifth-grade graduation, we found ourselves at the pediatrician’s office. Instead...

Keep Reading

Sometimes a Kid Just Needs a Sick Day

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy outside, color photo

My middle son stayed home from school today. He said he was sick. I’m not sure that is the truth. I was lucky enough to have a mom who was an amazing caretaker, especially when you were sick. She pulled out all the stops. A cozy clean space to be, a thermos with ice cold juice by your side, Mrs. Grass’s soup, and Days of Our Lives on the screen while she tidied up the house. It was the best feeling in the world to be home and cozy with my mom when I was sick. It felt cozy and...

Keep Reading

Sometimes We Need Someone to Just Sit With Us in Our Struggle

In: Kids, Motherhood
Sad woman sits on floor, black and white image

Early this morning, I told (yelled is more accurate) my sons to get up with the same furious ferocity I use every morning when I realize they should be ready to go, but are still unconsciously snoozing away. One son lazily said, “I’m up, Mom” (even though he was very much not up). The other son, who typically has no problems getting up, had overslept and immediately freaked out, thinking he would be late to school. He proceeded to have a mini-meltdown from the dark recesses of his bedroom. That overflowed into the hallway where I found him lying face-down,...

Keep Reading