What Your Strong-Willed Daughter Would Say If She Wasn’t So Strong-Willed

I need you in my life. I really do love you.

See me as a leader. Give me opportunities to be in charge, but never tell me it’s ok to be in charge of you.

I need boundaries. I may hate them and I may rebel against them, but if you set a rule and a consequence, I need you to follow through.

I may say “I don’t care” when you follow through with a consequence, but I really do and I really need you to follow through whether I care or not. 

When you follow through, you not only build my trust, but you also earn my respect.

When you don’t follow through, I will take full advantage of this weakness in the future.

I will manipulate you to get my way, but don’t let me get away with it. Remember those boundaries you set are healthy for me and I really do need them.

You know what is best for me. I don’t. I know I don’t and yet I pretend I do, waiting for you to take charge. When you don’t, I actually feel very insecure.

Even though my will is strong, I am only a child. I am not the boss of you and I am not capable nor mature enough for that role, so please don’t give it to me. I will abuse that power.

You have authority over me. God gave that to you. He made you my parent and I want to look up to you for wisdom and guidance.

And I need your constant guidance, but not your constant punishments.

I need you to believe in me, see the good in me, and encourage me.

I want your attention. Positive, fun, let’s-just-spend-time-together attention.

I crave your time—your undivided-I-just-want-to-be-with-you-and-get-to-know-you-because-I simply-delight-in-you kind of time.

I need to know you are on my team.

I need to hear “Let’s figure out a solution together!” or “How do you think you should solve this problem and how can I help?”

I want to know you’re here for me.

I need your love. Your it’s-ok-to-make-mistakes kind of love.

I need to know your love remains constant even if I have blue hair or black nail polish. 

Please don’t just focus on my appearance or how pretty I am or how good at something I am. Focus on who I am.

I need to hear you love my character and what God put in my heart not just my performance in school or in a sport or in an activity.

I need you to lighten up. Please don’t take everything so seriously with me.

Don’t nitpick every little thing I do or I will just shut down on you.

Laugh with me and applaud me on small efforts.

Give me chances to try again. Teach me. I will learn.

Open my eyes to see how all you have to teach me helps me with my future. I need to know how I benefit before I will “buy” what you’re “selling.”

I need you to be flexible. Not when it comes to safety or character or making good choices for my life, but when it comes to little things that really don’t matter in the grand scheme of life. Please don’t pick every battle with me. 

I will do everything in my power to win each battle you do pick to fight with me, so be prepared. 

I will turn even the smallest request into the biggest fight you’ve ever seen. Choose wisely and prayerfully.

Know when to let things go and when to step up and fight for what is right for me and my life. Again, I will respect that even though I may act like I hate it.

I will exhaust you, but please don’t give up on me. 

Did you hear me? Please don’t give up on me. 

I need you in my life. 

I need you on my side.

I need your patience and your prayers. 

Please pray for me every day, every hour, even every minute. 

Pray the Lord leads me in the direction He wants me to go because I promise you this. . .

God gave me this strong will to change the world!

And I will do just that. . . if you will keep believing in me!

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Articles by Christine Leeb

Christine Leeb

Christine “Coach” Leeb is a Child Development Specialist and Certified Parent Coach who helps parents “team up” with their kids—from toddlers to teens—to solve problems, build respect, and enjoy a calmer, more connected home. With 30 years of experience, she created the Team Up Toolkit, attachment-based tools that help parents stay calm, confident, and connected. Mother to three awesome (and exhausting) children from whom she shamefully hides brownies. Wife to one patient (and polar-opposite) husband (of 25 years) with whom she constantly quotes "Friends". She holds an MS in Psychology, a BS in Education, and is the author of Go Family and Learn As You Go. Team up with her for 1-on-1 coaching, resources, and encouragement at TeamUpParents.com.