I remember the very first time I saw him interact with her. He had the biggest smile on his face as he opened his arms wide, going in for the hug first. She smiled back and let his arms wrap around her tiny frame.
“Hey, mama,” he said as he squeezed her tight. “Hey son, it’s so good to see you,” she replied as she closed her eyes and smiled.
“Wow, he really does love her,” I thought to myself. And that was the first time I saw them together and knew how well he could love, my husband and his mom.
Over the years that we dated, I continued to closely watch the relationship between my husband and his mom. A lot more hugs, a lot more joyful moments together. And while he wasn’t a mama’s boy, he certainly loved and respected his mother like no other guy I had ever met.
He was so good to her.
I remember one winter afternoon, my then-boyfriend and I both found ourselves in a really hard season spiritually. We ultimately felt lost and hopeless, searching for answers in the season that we were in. “I think that we should go and spend some time talking with my mom. I think she might be able to give us some direction of how to pray; I trust her wisdom.” And so there we sat on the edge of the bed, as his mom laid hands on us in prayer. I will never forget the peace I felt that day, nor will I ever forget the way they hugged when we left her house, my husband and his mom.
He was so grateful for her.
On our wedding day we had both sets of our parents gather around and lay hands on us, praying over our marriage. As we knelt there on that stage, the prayer ended and I looked up to see my mother-in-law’s glasses fogged over with tears, her hands resting on her boy’s shoulders. This was a beautiful day for her as his mother; she had his heart first, but now she was handing it over to me, trusting I would love him well. She embraced me, and then her son, lingering with him a little while longer. There was so much love between them there in that hug, my husband and his mom.
He loved her so much.
I don’t know if there is any perfect manual for picking a husband, I don’t think that there ever will be. And while the first relationship I looked at when I met my man was the one he had with Jesus, the next one I looked at was the one with his mom. Because the way a man treats his mama, his first love, is the way he’s going to treat his last love, his wife. Find the man who loves his mama well, ladies. Because chances are if he’s good to her, he’s going to be good to you, too.