Have you ever gone through a time in life when so many things go wrong, it’s almost comical?
My husband and I have been living this the last few weeks. We dealt with financial issues, and then something came up with his work. Right when I was feeling completely overwhelmed from that stress, a conflict came up with someone I really care about. It took several days to resolve and I didn’t sleep much that entire time. A few days later my poor toddler got really sick and we ended up in the hospital for three nights. Then, the medicine they put him on made him incredibly hyper and out of control. It’s hard to discipline a toddler when you know he is amped up on steroids and probably feeling jittery and scared.
These were just a few of the hardships we were facing.
I started to feel like someone was playing a joke on us. OK, God, what are you trying to teach me? I kept asking but wasn’t getting any answers, just silence. I know things could be a lot worse . . . I have gone through WAY worse. But when you go through a trial, even if it is several small things, it’s still completely valid to feel overwhelmed.
There is something about when life gets hard—it’s easy to think any little negative twist or turn is too much. Instead of the car trouble being a normal part of life, it feels like a catastrophe. Or, rather than a small argument with your husband feeling like just that, it can feel like the whole marriage is falling apart.
Everything feels escalated.
Panic can set in.
When the ish hits the fan, I tend to resort to anxiety. Anxious thoughts cloud my mind and I can’t seem to see the positive. I’m distracted by my problems and constantly trying to find or force solutions.
Thankfully, some of these issues have calmed down a little bit but life is still stressful. But these past few days, I’ve decided not to marinate in the anxiety of it all.
Life is never going to stop being hard on this side of Heaven. We are always going to have troubles. But instead of letting a time of hardship and chaos dictate every waking moment, I am trying to remember there are seasons of life that are just really hard. I cannot let a series of bad events spiral into negativity, depression, or panic attacks.
My family needs me to take care of myself. One of my forms of self-care is drinking a cup of hot chai tea latte from Starbucks. It feels like a cozy, comforting hug in a cup. I recently told my husband that I know I need to cut out this habit for the sake of our budget but I probably could not commit to this until life calmed down a bit. I take bubble baths, I write, and I also try to get myself out in nature because these forms of self-care calm me.
And even though God may seem silent, I keep pressing in. Often with quick flare prayers such as, “God help,” or, “ I need peace right now,” or, “I can’t do this without you.”
I know He hears me and answers me because, by His grace, I make it through the hard times.