The uncontrollable tears streamed down my weary face. As I looked around and saw the piled laundry on the table, toys and crumbs covering the floor, and my boys fighting yet again. I thought to myself, I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I’m utterly exhausted and overwhelmed.
I see chaos all around me.
I can’t take this anymore.
Admittedly, in the last six years, since becoming a stay-at-home mom, I’ve hit my breaking point too many times.
I was deep in what most would consider the trenches of motherhood.
Somewhere along the way–through all of the meal times, nap schedules, house cleaning, errands, and chores–who I was had unconsciously slipped away.
I caught a small glimpse of myself in the mirror and didn’t recognize the woman looking back at me.
Part of my identity seemed so lost due to meeting the endless demands of my kids. I was supposed to put them first, right? Did I completely forget about the woman I was before they came into this world?
Being a caretaker is physically and mentally exhausting. There never seems to be enough time for taking care of yourself. Overwhelmed becomes the new normal. Too often, you feel numb, empty, and working tirelessly with no end or no reward in sight.
They said motherhood would be hard. You had no idea it would be this challenging.
You’re not seeing the fruits of your labor. You’ve given so much of yourself to your children that it feels like you have nothing left to give.
Your tank is depleted. Empty.
It feels like you can’t breathe; you’re so overwhelmed and weary.
You know the work you’re doing is incredibly valuable, but you struggle to see the bigger picture of how this all plays out. It’s difficult to keep going through the unknown of it all.
Will you lose yourself and who you are in the chaos of raising kids?
Deep down, you realize you’ve got to find a way to dig a little deeper and find the strength to continue moving forward. Your kids love you. Your influence on their lives is needed.
But getting up again. It’s no easy feat.
Here’s what I’ve learned as a stay-at-home mom . . .
God does His best work in the deep trenches of motherhood.
For when you feel weak, He is strong.
You don’t need to rely on your own strength because you’re human, We all have limitations. If you allow God to take all of your burdens, expectations, and worries, you will feel lighter. The more you take the heavy weight to Him, the less you’ll have to carry.
You weren’t meant to carry it all, mama. God is. Go to Him for rest. Go to Him for strength. Go to Him for a reminder of your identity.
With God, you will be reinvigorated. Your heart and soul will be refilled each time you become depleted. You will rise up again and again. Because you are a new creation. And you are His.
So continue to bring all your broken moments, challenges, and worries to the one who cares for you. Remember that in the trenches, God will show up for you and provide what you need.
Through all the tears of overwhelm, He is sitting right there alongside you.
And when God does exactly what He promises, never forget His faithfulness.
I remember how, during my deepest struggles with mental illness, God held me and raised me up. I remember how He healed my broken heart after my miscarriage so I could find the strength to try again and complete our family.
Motherhood can be a beautiful catalyst for change.
Even when we can’t see it, God does. Every challenge you go through will make you stronger, more resilient, and one step closer to being mature and complete, not lacking anything as God desires for you.