You Say I’m Enough—But What if I’m Not?

You say I’m enough—but what if I’m not?

You say I’m enough.

From every direction, this notion is being shouted at me.

I hear it spoken over that podcast I listen to on the way to school drop-off.

I see it on that trendy T-shirt at the local boutique.

I read it from some of my favorite authors.

You say I’m enough—but what if I’m not?

What if today I’m not enough?

Not enough to keep up with the dishes and the laundry.

Not enough to clean up the endless messes made by little hands.

Not enough to meal plan, and meal prep, and ensure a healthy dinner is on the table at 6 o’clock sharp.

You say I’m enough.

But in this phase, what if I’m not enough?

Not enough to be mom of the year.

And build meaningful lasting friendships.

And hustle to achieve the career status I’ve been dreaming of.

You say I’m enough—but what if I’m not?

Not enough to get through my to-do list for the day.

Not enough to fulfill the roles being asked of me.

Not enough to deal with the life that has been handed to me.

You say I’m enough.

But what if—what if in the very core of who I am—I’m not enough?

Not enough to be enough.

I’m lacking.

So, so insufficient.

I’m running low all the time.

I’m not enough.

In fact, I am in need.

So desperately in need of a God who fills in the cracks of my not-enough places.

So desperately in need of a Savior who sees and saves the one who feels lost in her own lack.

You say I am enough—But I’m not enough.

Not today or ever.

Without my God—

Without His mercy—

Without the way in which He uses my lack and less than—

I’m not enough.

It’s only in Him and through Him that I can face the day.

He is enough, but me—on my own—I’m not enough. And I don’t have to be.

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