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Life changes when you have a baby, everyone tells you that don’t they? But something they don’t tell you is that people change. People leave. It’s heartbreaking because you think they’re leaving because of something you have done. 

It’s taken me a long time to realize that people are selfish. Those you thought were life long friends don’t like that your priorities have changed now. Do you know what they do when they realize you can’t/won’t drop everything in your life including your children to tend to their needs?

They shut you out. 

You may try and try to reclaim that friendship but my advice would be DON’T! 

The people who have a lack of understanding that your whole world has shifted and that it will take some time for you to reply to a text because your child has hidden your phone in the toy box under the singing Mickey Mouse, aren’t worth the week-old sweet potato cemented to said toys foot. 

When you have a baby it’s not all about losing people, it makes relationships stronger. Being a parent is hard work and those friends that stick around and bring you food when you’re considering not making dinner for yourself because you’ve been on the go all day are worth their weight in gold. The relationship you have with your partner will strengthen too. You’re in the trenches together – they understand why none of the clothes are washed. 

Actually, that might just be me. I have this ridiculous cycle I’m stuck in where I put a load of clothes into the wash and then forget to take it out and dry it so it stays damp in the machine for a day… Or two and I have to re-wash it. My partner understands this happens and regularly asks ‘does this need re-washing’ when he takes laundry out!

Please tell me that’s not only me.

I’ve found my relationship with myself has improved too. I’m slowly learning to embrace my flaws, my tummy I see as a kangaroo pouch, I’m Mama Kanga and I carried my little miracle baby Roo in there. I’m more in tune with my needs now; I know when I need to have a bath and be silent for a bit. I can contain myself before shouting now and I know I need to make lists for everything in my life or I’ll forget to do the simplest of things. 

Like I said, it’s very hard to be a parent and when I was pregnant so many people said they would be there for me. They stressed if there was anything we needed they would get it! I can’t say I’ve heard from any of those people. Of course you aren’t continually the greatest friend when you’re a new parent because everything is different but all you need is a little empathy.

You truly learn who the valuable people in your life are. If you’re a new parent and you’re wondering if you’ve done something to cause people to leave your life, trust me, it’s not you, it’s them. Go on in your life and you will find valuable people.

Try mother and baby groups or soft play areas, put yourself out there and chat to other parents and you’ll make life long friends.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

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Charlie Gray

Charlie is a blogger, owner of a publishing company and most importantly a mother to a very handsome little boy. She grew up and lives in The New Forest with her partner. Charlie enjoys all things Beauty, Baby and Beyond. Her little boy gives her plenty to write about but so little time to do it in, so any moment spared is spent letting the world know about their crazy adventures.

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