Don’t wake me up. I don’t want to wake up. Why, you ask? Well, if I wake up then it means I’m “on” again and in truth, well, I’d love to be “off” for a little while longer. But, who am I kidding? Even when I’m “off” I’m still “on” and by a little while longer, well, what I mean is I would love to sleep for like three days straight. Yeah, that would at least be a start to catching up on the sleep I have missed over the past six years. Six years? Why haven’t I slept in six years? Well, because I have three kids, ages six, three, and 18 months.

Oh, my goodness, what was that?!?

You can’t jump on Mommy in the bed!

Okay, I’m up, I’m up.

Yes, I’ll get you milk.

Yes, I’ll turn the TV on.

Yes, I’ll put your blanket on.

Yes, I’ll make you breakfast.

Yes, I’ll sit with you.

Oh, you want snuggles, too?

Thank you so much for waking me up my little bug.

Seriously . . . 

Don’t wake me up. I don’t want to wake up. Why, you ask? Well, if I wake up then it means I’m “on” again and in truth, well, I’d love to be “off” for a little while longer. You see, I have teenagers now. Yep, enough said, right? I have two beautiful and smart girls and one handsome and intelligent boy, and as they have gotten bigger so have their attitudes, their opinions, and their personalities. And, as they have grown, so has their affection and appreciation for members of the opposite sex. Now, hear me when I say that I am very much a proponent and encourager of self-expression, and want my kids to experience falling in love, but man oh man, that kind of stuff makes parenting difficult. And, well I’m tired of difficult. I’m ready for easy—will it ever come?

Oh, my goodness, what was that?!?

You want to go out on a date?

OK, I’m listening, I’m listening.

Yes, I’ll let you go because I know you are responsible.

Yes, I’ll let you go because I know you know right from wrong.

Yes, I’ll let you go because I know you know your worth.

Yes, I’ll let you go because you deserve to experience your life.

Yes, I’ll be there for you every step of the way.

Oh, you want to snuggle with me and talk about it all? I’d love too.

Thank you so much for waking me up my little bug.

Seriously . . . 

Don’t wake me up. I don’t want to wake up. Why, you ask? Well, if I wake up then it means I’m “on” again, and in truth, well, I’d love to be “off” for a little while longer. Who am I “on” for with my kids grown and off to college? Well, that would be the man I have grown apart from over the years, the one I used to know. Don’t feel bad; understand I’m not mad about it. We didn’t intentionally grow apart, it’s just something that can happen over the years, especially when you focus on your children more than your marriage. Now, I have to consciously and actively work toward rekindling that flame and I’ll tell ya, that’s hard work for us old people, and sometimes we don’t have the energy.

Oh, my goodness, what was that?!?

You want a marriage just like me and your Dad?

Okay, I’m listening, I’m listening.

Yes, it’s true that we’ve stuck next to each other through the years.

Yes, it’s true that we have had our ups and downs.

Yes, it’s true that I do remember why I fell in love with him.

Yes, it’s true that I don’t want to give up.

Yes, it’s true that I do appreciate your support and listening ear.

Oh, you want to snuggle with me and remind me of how your father and I are perfect for each other?

Thank you so much for waking me up my little bug.

Wake me!

Wake me!

Please wake me!

I want to wake up.

Why, you ask? Well, if I wake up then it means I’m excited to start my day. I want to be “on” and I want to be present. I want to be needed and I want to be exhausted.

You see, I have married children and grand-babies now, and life just got a little bit sweeter.

But, there is something I have realized over the years: life has always been sweet, it’s just been exhausting—but it’s also been exciting. And, if the alternative is a life in which I am well-rested but bored, well, I don’t want that.

I wanna be awake. I always have, I just didn’t realize it.

Thank you so much for waking me up my little bug—waking me up to the notion that, although extremely exhausting, nothing is more amazing than a busy life spent with those you love.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

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Nicole Merritt

Nicole Merritt is a mother of three and the Owner and Founder of jthreeNMe, an imperfectly authentic peek at real-life marriage, parenting, and self-improvement. jthreeNMe is raw, honest, empowering, inspiring, and entertaining; it’s like chicken soup for those that are exhausted, over-stressed and under-inebriated, yet still utterly happy. Nicole's work has been featured by Scary Mommy, The Good Men Project, BLUNTmoms, Thought Catalog, Everyday Family, Motherly & many others. You can follow Nicole at jthreeNMe and on FacebookPinterestInstagram & Twitter!

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