I can count on one hand the number of close friends I have. I have never been popular and have never really had the desire to be. I suck at workplace politics and would much rather eat alone on my lunch break than participate in gossip.
I am admittedly pretty sensitive, a little quirky, and pretty awkward around anyone I’m not close to. I would much rather be labeled as the weird girl any day than as a bully.
Being that I’m picky with the people I stay close with, I rarely have interpersonal conflicts. But a year or so ago, a woman I trusted and once looked up to was mean to me for no good reason. I blamed myself. Analyzed every interaction and conversation we had. Took things personally. Wondered what I did wrong to make this woman be so mean.
It didn’t take long to realize I was upset and unsure what I had done wrong to her. Meanwhile, I can bet good money this woman never once worried about her actions toward me that had hurt me so much. I gave her the power. Not only did she upset me, I blamed myself which upset me even further.
I wish I could go back in time and give myself a hug. If you’re reading this and going through a similar situation, I wish I could come through this screen and hug you right now too.
It doesn’t matter how caring or compassionate or warm or any of those things you are. There will be people who don’t like you. There will be people you don’t fit in with. There will be people who are just flat-out mean to you for no good reason.
Other people’s behavior is not a reflection of you. Let me say that again: other people’s behavior is not a reflection of you. Anyone else’s behavior toward you is a reflection of them. Hurt people hurt people. Not an excuse, but the truth.
I distanced myself from this woman. Afterward, I found myself wondering how she felt about herself. It’s hard knowing someone else doesn’t like you, but I can imagine it’s even harder to not like yourself. With that in mind, I chose to forgive her. Once I forgave her, I realized I got my power back.
You will never fit in with the wrong people. But that’s okay because you shouldn’t want to.
by Whitney Fleming 
by Katy Ursta 
by Brianna Baranowski 
