I’m a member of several mom-focused support groups online, both for creative purposes, and for practical tips, recommendations, and solidarity with fellow moms. As I was passively scrolling, I read a comment recently about not letting motherhood be your whole identity. This was made in response to an original poster questioning which large SUV followers recommended for getting multiple kids to various places.
It was an interesting comment, and it made me pause. I hadn’t thought about my car being connected to my mom identity. Does what we drive signal who we are? I had never thought too deeply about this.
I kept thinking about the comment over several days—not letting motherhood be my whole identity. Not so ironically, I thought about this notion as I drove school carpool and transported my kids to practice. So much of my day-to-day routines center around the kids’ schedules and needs. Is that a bad thing?
This poster’s comment really had me questioning if somewhere in the decade plus of doting on newborns, chasing toddlers, and now negotiating with tweens I had let motherhood become my whole identity. And if so, where had I gone wrong?
Then I remembered some of my own writing that I posted on my blog about parenting experiences. No stage lasts forever. The days are long, but the years are short. Comparison is the thief of joy. Motherhood is a prominent part of my identity. And I’m more than okay with that.
Don’t get me wrong, sometimes the all-encompassing role of being a mom can be, well, overwhelming. The endless mental gymnastics of making sure everyone is where they’re supposed to be when they’re supposed to be there, with all the essential gear. And do not get me started on the laundry and coordinating meal times that accompany all these activities!
Some days I feel like I am shot out of a cannon, hustling from one place to the next, only to crash in bed to quickly recover and do it all again on rinse and repeat for the foreseeable future.
But, being the first person they look for in the crowd is pretty awesome too. Hearing, “Hey, Mom, can we talk?” stops me in my tracks. And those giggles at an inside joke, reserved only for me, those are heartstopping moments I hope I never forget. Being my kids’ anchor is a tremendous responsibility. It’s also a great honor.
I once read that the world needs who you were made to be. I find that sentiment comforting in times when I’m questioning who I am in certain situations. We are often our own harshest critics, and when I’m doubting my parenting skills, I think it’s important to remember my kids need the mom I was made to be.
Sometimes I feel the pressure of all that I have to do as a mom to active tweens. I take my parenting role seriously; it’s one of the things I don’t want to mess up. And admittedly, I hold myself to a high standard. But it’s important for me to remember what I get to do as part of being their mom.
As I trudge through seemingly unending days, I get to show up for my kids. As the years zoom by, I get a front-row seat to see them grow and develop. And truthfully, I hope I feel the same gratitude for the opportunity well into their adulthood.
So, yeah, motherhood is my vibe. And it’s a large part of my identity. But I’ve come to realize that’s more than okay for me.
by Melinda Dueck 
by Courtney Devich 
by Katie Weber 
