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I’m just a mom.

I’m not a successful businesswoman. I’m not a well-known writer. I’m not fantastically gifted or exceptionally smart. I’m just a mom.

A year ago, I didn’t think that was enough. Being a mom is great and all, but it can feel pretty unimpressive. I loved being a mom very much. And I was so grateful to have that blessing.

But I wanted to feel productive. Being a mom doesn’t allow much productivity. I wanted to contribute to the family income. Being a mom doesn’t pay particularly well. I wanted to feel valuable. Being a mom doesn’t always promote feelings of value. I was just a mom. And it didn’t feel like enough. Even when I gave birth to my second baby.

RELATED: In a World of Mom Bosses, What if I’m Never More Than Just a Mom?

But then, something happened that changed all of my priorities. My baby ended up in the hospital. Three times. My baby and I lived at the hospital for a month.

Suddenly, all that mattered was being the mom my kids needed me to be. My entire focus was on caring for my baby and making sure my 5-year-old knew how much I loved her from afar.

Suddenly, Mommy was all I needed to be to fulfill a great purpose. Being mom was enough to make a big difference in the world of my girls. I was just a mom and that was the most important thing I could possibly be.

When we got home from the hospital, my days and nights were filled with constantly tending to the needs of my baby. I didn’t know if or when we might end up back in the hospital.

I spent every available moment with my older daughter. We were soaking up the quality time together that we had missed for a month while I was in the hospital with her little sister. And preparing for the possibility of being apart again.

Playing on the floor with my 5-year-old took priority over getting back on track with my schoolwork. Being home with my girls was much more necessary than bringing in an extra paycheck. Suddenly, taking care of my baby and spending time with my older daughter felt more productive, profitable, and fulfilling than any job ever could.

RELATED: I’m Just a Mom Trying Her Best to Love This Family Well

It’s been a month now, and we have managed to stay out of the hospital so far. My baby is doing well and her medical needs are generally less intense. My older daughter is in school.

I have more of those spare moments than I did when we first got home from the hospital. I am finally beginning to get the house organized again, and I am gradually finding a new routine.

I would still like to feel productive. I would still like to contribute to the family income. I would still like to add value in other areas of life outside of the stay-at-home mom daily duties that can quickly become mundane.

But for right now, I’m just a mom. Right now, I feel productive when I get my vomit-soaked baby all clean in the bath and get my 5-year-old ready for school each morning. Right now, I contribute to the family wealth by making my daughter’s lives rich with frequent and consistent love and affection.

And right now, I add significant value to my family by being . . . just Mom. Mom who teaches. Mom who listens. Mom who plans fun activities and treats. Mom who loves them like no one else ever can.

I’m just a mom. And I’m finally okay with it. Because they need me to be just mom right now. And if two of the most important people in my life need me to be exactly what I am, how could I possibly ask for more?

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So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Marissa Khosh

I am a stay-at-home mom blogger passionate about sharing my motherhood experiences and research with other mamas. God provides me with all the material I need to write articles about the uncommon mama topics no one talks about, like molar pregnancy, childhood tooth decay, and PMS symptoms while breastfeeding. Through my experiences with miscarriage and my two daughters, I am continually learning new lessons and making new discoveries that I know I need to share with other mamas who need to know they are not alone. 

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