It takes a village to raise a family. For a single mom, the reason she is without a village is irrelevant—the fact that she mothers without one makes her a superwoman.
Raising kiddos, in general, is universally challenging. Raising kiddos alone is even more taxing—mentally, emotionally, and physically. It involves stress, pressure, and guilt. There’s also little time to yourself, making the infamous self-care nearly impossible.
Here are 10 struggles of single motherhood, from the view of a 24/7 mama bear:
Needing to be in two places at one time. How in the world can you be in two places at once? You can’t, so you have no option but to ask for help! Friends, neighbors, another hockey mom, anyone willing to help—you must accept it.
Stigma and judgment. There is often a negative connotation associated with being a single mom. Feelings of being considered underprivileged (compared to married moms) as well as someone struggling to keep it all together appear to be common. Ignore that! Adjust that cape and be proud that you show up . . . every single day.
Financial stress. This struggle will keep you up at night. It’s the one that truly separates the married moms who often feel like single moms from the real single mothers. Single mothers often have less disposable income than a dual-income household. It’s important to keep a budget and stick to it, the best you can. Also, instead of trying to keep up with the Jones’, worry more about teaching your kids the value of money. They’ll be better off for it.
Mom guilt (when kid-free). Mom guilt should be illegal. As if moms don’t have enough to do but feel guilty about everything. When single mothers happen to get a break from their children, they often feel guilty and don’t enjoy their well-earned break. Or they don’t feel guilty and wind up feeling guilty for not feeling guilty!
Missing special occasions. Missing holidays is hard. It feels so different to be kid-free during Christmas, for example, as there’s no magic. As relaxing and socially freeing as it can feel around the holidays, it hurts your heart. You can celebrate on another day of course, but it doesn’t feel the same.
Not feeling lucky. People will tell you you’re “lucky” to get a break from your kids. But not all single moms feel lucky when their child is with the other parent. It’s stressful giving up control and sometimes contact. You never know a single mom’s situation. While yes, it’s good to have time to recharge and not have to take care of anyone but yourself, it isn’t without its stress when your children aren’t physically with you.
Tag, you’re (always) it. Being a single mom is a never-ending game of tag. And you’re always it! You have to keep up with the housework, homework, appointments, sports, make important decisions, discipline, provide guidance and emotional support, and maybe even work outside the home. Oh, and try to have a social life, incorporate self-care and exercise. There is also no time to get sick. It’s a fun game, tag.
Loneliness. Being a single mom can make you feel very isolated and lonely, which takes a toll on your mental well-being. It’s important to make your own connections outside of a partner. Reach out to other single moms through online single mom groups on Facebook for example. Interacting with people who can relate to your struggles makes you feel, well, less alone.
Your last name. Some single mothers have a different last name than their kids. Unless you’ve personally experienced this, you won’t understand how it can feel. While it doesn’t bother some women, it does bother others, and often, the children have feelings about it as well.
Dating. As single moms, your love life takes a back seat to your kids. You are also a package deal, so if someone wants to be with you, they must love your children too. But when you feel ready to date, it’s not an easy feat. There are so many implications and so many things to consider.
There may be struggles with being a single parent, but there are also rewards. The biggest one is the fact that you have a front-row seat for every moment of your child’s life. They know that, more than anyone else on this earth, you are their biggest fan.
Originally published on the author’s blog
by Lisa Appelo 
by Jena Garrett 
