- Stick them in the same crib or in separate rooms?
There are different schools of thoughts out there and odds are, that as a new parent, you are researching every single one of them and you have found merit in every single one of them. For multiples, some believe that you should stick them in the same crib and some believe that you should keep them in different parts of the house.
Twins don’t want to be separated, but they do need to be separate. Imagine that you just spent 37 weeks locked in a tiny space with another little human and then suddenly, BOOM! Here you are in the wide-open world with your own air and your own little voice announcing that you have arrived. Chances are you are overwhelmed and you desperately need to cling onto anything and everything familiar those first few days. Do your little potatoes a favor and keep them near to their sibling, but also give them the chance to be, well, an individual and realize that they really can stand on their own two feet (give or take a few months). If one baby wakes up from his or her nap and starts wailing because they need you to know that they are awake now, guess what? They will not wake up the other one. By this point, the screeching of their sibling is equivalent to the soothing sounds of rain or the ocean breeze. So do yourself a favor and don’t stress out over that. Trust me, there will be no shortage of things to worry about.
- One on one schedule or the same schedule?
Back to our parent research teams. You’ll find that some parents swear by one-on-one scheduling so that you can feed and cuddle with one baby while the other one is asleep and then switch. Some other parents believe in one schedule for any and all infants involved. Does that mean waking up a sleeping baby if their brother or sister is hungry? Yes, yes it does. And no, that is not a moral sin.
Honestly, you need to sleep, eat, shower, stare at the TV in a baby induced coma. You will NOT lose quality one-on-one time with your children if you’re with both at once. Not to mention that as they get older and start exploring their surroundings and each other, nothing is better than watching your son or daughter playing with their built-in best friend.
- Disposable diapers or cloth diapers?
Let’s be honest, everyone wants to jump on that all natural, organic everything train. Sometimes, it just isn’t practical. It is considerably more expensive, so you better be absolutely sure that the value greatly exceeds the name brand stuff.
Both, either, all of the above. Seriously though…do yourself a favor and get cloth diapers even if you don’t intend on using them. I hate to break this to you, but you are either looking at spending a fortune on diapers or a fortune on laundry detergent. There will come a time when you’re changing baby number two and you realize that you are out of diapers! Slap on a cloth one and call it a day…or at least buy yourself an hour or two.
- Do I need two of every outfit and toy?
Send this one out to all of your family, ASAP because we are all in this together. People WILL buy you two matching outfits, almost every single time. Two of the same blankets and sheets. Two of the same little sneakers that they will never wear. Two of every toy so one child doesn’t get upset that he doesn’t have a mini maraca to play with for this one moment that the mini maraca is oh-so-much fun.
No, no, no, absolutely not. Listen, you already have two extra miniature people running around. Time for you to watch a documentary on Minimalism. If they both like the same toy? Good for them, this is a fantastic opportunity to figure out problem solving, sharing, and defining their own interests. Don’t take that chance away from them!
- Breastfeed or Formula?
This one is HUGE. There are many people out there today who would mom-shame you if they found out you used formula. Honestly? You need to back the hell up. To all the moms of multiples who were successfully able to breastfeed, I give you major props. For the rest of us, however, who just couldn’t get the hang of football holding two infants, formula is FINE. Your child will not be any less smart/ tall/ likely to be the one to cure cancer than a breastfed baby. Don’t get me wrong, do what you can! But sometimes, you just CAN’T. And that’s okay too!
- People ask: “How do you do it? I just couldn’t.”
As a parent of multiples, you better be prepared for cliché city. “Wow! Are those twins? I bet you have your hands full!” As a matter of fact, I do because I’m pushing a stroller that is equivalent to a small SUV while holding 10 bags of groceries that will probably last four days. Can we chat some other time?
We do it because we must. We don’t have any sort of super powers or magic spells that help us along the way, but we do have two people counting on us to get our ass out of bed and make some scrambled eggs already! We do it because we must. And you know what? If you had exported two children at once, you would be doing it just fine too.
As a side note, I have found that the phrase “You have no idea” is perfectly applicable in almost every situation. Double Trouble! You have no idea. You must be busy! You have no idea. Are those twins? You have no idea?
- Side by side stroller or Extra-long stroller?
Calling out to all my fellow bloggers who spend hours upon hours reviewing these products for us! Do yourself a favor, and read the reviews. Go to the store and push some strollers around. While your at it, buy two extra-large watermelons to put in the seats so you can be sure to get an accurate perception of what your life will be like.
I vote extra-long stroller all the way. I imagine some people prefer side by side, but here’s the thing: No matter what, you basically need a commercial driver’s license to maneuver one of these things around the store. I just like that I have the option to have them face each other, it does come in handy for a source of free entertainment!
- Will I ever feel well-rested again?
Is this a trick question? This is pretty much a blanket statement for all parents across the board whether you have one or ten babies (however, if you do have ten babies at once, I seriously think you should reevaluate your life).
Probably not. If you’re like the majority of parents, then you’re working full time, taking care of your little people and probably trying to maintain some semblance of a romantic relationship with your partner. Even when you sleep, you’ll be dreaming of everything you need to do. So, yes, you will sleep again at some point, but no, it won’t matter. Coffee anyone?
- TV or no?
I will never forget the day that a fellow mom of twins came up to me at our gym and stealthily whispered in my ear the question, “Do you let your kids watch TV?” At that point, I wasn’t even totally aware of what a taboo it is, but apparently here we are!
Look, when you become a parent, you don’t suddenly drop every other responsibility in your life. You add one and you re-prioritize. That being said, TV can give you that extra 30 minutes you need to wash those dishes that are piling up or fold the clothes you took out of the dryer sometime last week. Some parents truly believe that the television was created by Satan and to those parents I ask, is there some nefarious message I am missing from Little Einsteins?
- Aren’t twins a blessing?
No matter how you conceived your twins, whether naturally or through some sort of insanely expensive medical process, they are a miracle.
Any child is a blessing, but honestly? Twins just spice up your life a little bit more. Nothing in this world will ever compare to their little laughter when his or her brother or sister says something that is just simply hysterical that no one else on this earth understands but them.
To all my parents of multiples, just remember that when you are running across the parking lot of the store to grab one of the three available carts that has two seats, remember that your little ones are blessings. Remember that you have been blessed when you’re carrying one baby and chasing the other across park. #blessed