What makes a great mom? Many things. But the ability to say these six, simple, beautiful words is definitely part of it.
I’ve been working on myself for a very long time now, and it’s no easy task. Uncovering, processing, and working through old wounds and very tender emotions—ones that were never truly expressed or felt in the way they needed to be at the time—has been extremely difficult.
At times, it’s been too hard—too hard to dig it all up and relive and re-feel it all, and I’ve just wanted to give up. But I haven’t. Because in addition to a great therapist who I’ve had the pleasure of working with for the past two years, I’ve also got the best confidant, the best supporter, and the best cheerleader I could ever ask for.
I’ve got my mom.
It’s been challenging to figure out not only how I truly felt and feel, but also to finally find my voice and learn how to verbalize and explain the things and dynamics that were so complicated and complex. Yet, at the same time, it’s been pretty easy too. Because even when it’s something about my mom, she still encourages me to say it.
Even when my voice quivers and I struggle to find the right words, she patiently waits. Even when I hesitate because I don’t know how to say it nicely, she pushes me to just spit it out. And even when I don’t want to hurt her feelings, she tells me I can and that I should. She says six, simple, beautiful words that have made and continue to make all the difference:
Tell me, I can take it.
Because she knows how crucial it is to be able to speak your truth. She knows that expressing yourself and receiving proper validation is not only important but imperative. She knows that even if there were things she could have done differently, she also tried her absolute best. And she knows that in order to keep being a great mom—because she’s always been one—she needs to stay open and grow with me . . . even when it’s hard and even when she feels like giving up.
To my mom, my forever emotional compass, you’re willingness and ability to see what I need and be there to hear and understand it is incomparable. Thank you for continuing to extend yourself for me, day in and day out. And thank you for granting me the space and capacity within myself, so that I can do the same for my kids. Whether it be a long, momentous, deep breath, an exquisitely placed necessary moment of pause, or those same six, simple, beautiful words, you’ve made it all easier, and I’m incredibly grateful for that.