1. Baby nails are as sharp as my 8th grade math teacher’s tongue.
2. Some how they collect a disgusting amount of… disgust… in their neck rolls.
3. Everything will go in their mouth when teething, especially things that shouldn’t.
4, They take up a LOT of room in the bed.
5. They will attempt to wake you by gouging your eyeballs out with the sharp baby nails.
6. Baby headbutts HURTTTT!!!!!
7. Their smile and laugh can cure anything.
8. Disney Junior programs are actually addictive and I unapologetically still watch them when the baby is asleep.
9. Crawling babes and coffee tables aren’t friends.
I’d just like to add that I wrote this while Oscar the baby was next to me in bed. He was asleep, but he woke by number 2 and started climbing all over me and grabbing the MAC, then found his father’s PJ shorts and started chewing the drawstrings, while watching Henry Hugglemonster. It was a pretty good episode, there’s always a valuable life lesson in it.