A Gift for Mom! 🤍

Living with a child who has a chronic illness is unpredictable. One moment you’re watching a seemingly healthy child play, the next you’re holding a limp body. Sometimes with just seconds in between. And the scary thing is after it happens enough, you stop panicking. And just pray your child makes it through to do it again.

When this happens people say, “I could never do that.” But they could, and they would. Because the alternative is something so much worse, something nobody dares to speak of. But even unspoken, it’s known, and the fear of it haunts you.

RELATED: To the Mom Who Just Received Her Child’s Hard Medical Diagnosis

I’ve seen my daughter stare down death, and it’s gut-wrenching. It takes my breath away to even think about it. Not in a metaphorical sense, either. In a terrifying, I can’t get air through my body sort of way.

But on this side of trauma, I’ve seen something else, too.

I’ve seen life through the eyes of a fighter. And THAT is a gift.

I’ve seen a little girl grow wise beyond her years. A child who gives herself, knowing the value of time. Someone who savors moments I, as an adult, miss because she knows the next one isn’t promised. And I’ve learned so much from her because relentlessly, she keeps on fighting.

RELATED: My Child With Special Needs Can’t Live Her Life in Captivity

She could ask why me? but she never has. Instead, when she hears a child cry out in the hospital, she colors them pictures and slides notes under their door as if to say you’re not alone. She never tells them it’s OK because it isn’t. There’s nothing about a child hurting that’s OK. But she knows if only for that moment they are.

I don’t think for a second she’s blind to the uncertainty her future or anyone else’s holds, she just knows the only moment that matters is now. And she’s teaching that to me.

She knows what family is. That it isn’t only blood. And they’ll do anything to support one another.

She knows sometimes it is as much of a blessing to be asked for help as it is to be helped. And she makes sure I know that, too.

RELATED: To the Girl Who Never Asks For Help

She knows what it is like to be loved, and every day she shows me what it’s like to love.

She sees the world with hope and optimismin a way that without her I never could. And while so many people can’t imagine the course of ups and downs, we live, I can’t imagine the alternative.  

I’ve seen death in her eyes and because of that, I’ve come to enjoy life through them.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Cara Arnold

I’m a mama to 3 whose learning to balance parenthood and chronic illness at the hands of autoimmune encephalitis. Some days I’m a soccer mom, carpooling like a boss; other days I’m a relentless advocate, taking on doctors and insurance companies alike. But, if you’re looking for consistency every day I’m a hot mess. My life is a puzzle that’s still not together. I used to think pieces were missing. But it's all finally fitting together. It’s not what I envisioned, and some days I mourn that; but it’s mine. And knowing how fast that can change I try to appreciate every moment of it.

Ask For the Playdate

In: Kids
Kids playing at park

When my only child was finishing up his first year of preschool a few years ago, I knew he would miss having friends to play with regularly over the summer. One day at pickup, he invited a friend from his class to come to our house.  His friend seemed interested. Her mom and I agreed it would be nice to have a playdate, but never really made plans as we were getting the kids to the car. I am not an outgoing person, and I always prefer someone else to ask me to do something, rather than being the one...

Keep Reading

My Daughter Said “No” and I Listened

In: Kids
Young girl reading picture book on mother's lap

The other day, my daughter said no. Not quietly. Not hesitantly.Just a simple, confident “no.” And for a moment, I saw it happen. That instinct so many of us were taught to ignore. That pause where girls start to second-guess themselves. But she didn’t shrink. And I realized…I’m not raising her the way I was raised. I was raised to be polite.To be agreeable.To not make things uncomfortable. And while those things sound harmless on the surface, they come with an unspoken lesson. One that a lot of us learned early, without even realizing it. Be easy.Be likable.Be quiet if...

Keep Reading

A Letter To the “Extra” Moms

In: Kids
Mom and young son shooting off firework

This is for the moms who go above and beyond for their children, the “magic makers” and “childhood savers.” While moms are always giving boundless love and doing selfless acts for their kids, “extra” moms make motherhood sparkle. You constantly prioritize your child’s well-being and happiness—it is your number one focus. You are out there creating unforgettable moments that shape your family’s lives. You make birthdays unforgettable, complete with themes, elaborate food, and decorations, and lots of thought and loving time behind each to make every year as special as the last. You make each holiday a wonderland to behold...

Keep Reading

Ellis and the Puffers

In: Kids
Little boy holding dandelion puff flowers

Ellis is a dreamer, loves stories of every kind, library books, Star Wars, and all things magical. He especially loves stories from when his mom was little, and prefers that they be shared in her lap. One of his favorite stories from when his mom was a child is the one about puffers—dandelions that bring wishes, and the special square in the backyard that Grandpa left unmowed every year so Ellis’s mom and her big sister and two big brothers could always have access to their wish makers. Ellis made a point of gathering puffers every day on their walk...

Keep Reading

Strong-Willed Kids Are Not a Problem, They Just Need a Different Approach

In: Kids
Child with wide smile and arms out behind her

Some kids don’t just say “no.” They mean it. They resist direction. They question instructions. They want to do things their own way, even when it would be easier to follow along. These children are often labeled as stubborn. But what if that behavior is not the problem? What if it is the beginning of something important? Strong-willed children are not trying to be difficult. They are trying to make sense of the world in their own way. They want to understand why something matters before they commit to it. When they are told what to do without explanation, they...

Keep Reading

He Waited for Me By the Window and It Felt Like Love

In: Kids
Chair in office

Yesterday I went to urgent care. I had a sore throat, and my doctor had no openings. It was super disappointing because I actually had plans in the morning to see my grandson, and in the evening to go out of town for my sister’s birthday party. It was the rare occasion that everything was already set up. After my insanely long bout of pneumonia and being tethered to my nebulizer for so long, I was looking forward to it with enthusiasm. Of course, par for the course, life had other plans. Instead of being just a 24-hour nuisance, it...

Keep Reading

Feeding Neurodiverse Kids is a College-Level Course

In: Kids
Child eating bagel

Imagine a theoretical college course designed for parents called Proper Family Mealtimes. The class focuses on the core ingredients required to have a truly connected meal: dinner etiquette, polite conversation, menu planning, and hosting. Backed by scientific research, parents will gain knowledge of simple yet practical steps to make mealtime meaningful again. My family would fail this course. When it comes to etiquette, shirts and formal seating are optional. My children pass on polite conversation, swapping in slang like “bruh” whenever possible. Our meal plan rotates between five kid favorites with the option to reject them all, at which point...

Keep Reading

As a Medical Mom, I Measure Growth Differently

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little girl climbing outside

In most homes, the marks on the wall are a simple celebration of time passing. They are pencil lines that track how many inches a child has gained since their last birthday. But in our home, those marks represent a much deeper, more complex story. When your child lives with multiple hormone deficiencies, growth is never just “natural”—it is a carefully managed medical achievement. However, as any medical mom knows, the story doesn’t end at the top of the head. It begins deep inside, with a tiny gland that isn’t sending the right signals. Having multiple hormone deficiencies is often...

Keep Reading

Helping My Son Through Bullying Is Healing Something In Me Too

In: Kids
Family sitting on porch

Bedtime is when my kids tend to open up the most. The lights are low, the day is winding down, and their guard finally comes down with it. One night, my son told me he had been having a really hard time at school. Some boys had been so relentless that he left the cafeteria before finishing his breakfast, deciding it was better to go hungry than face more teasing. Because he’s such a kind boy with a big heart for others, seeing him face that kind of cruelty made my heart ache even more. It wasn’t the first time...

Keep Reading

Robotics Kids Are Building More than You Can See

In: Kids
Robotics kid watching competition

These robotics kids are going to shape our future. I think this every time I watch an elementary, middle school, or high school competition. My thoughts go back many years to when my middle child, who was six at the time, went with my husband to the high school robotics shop. They were only stopping in briefly to pick up some engineering kits, but my child quickly became captivated by what the “big kids” were doing. He stood quietly watching until one student walked over and asked if he would like to see what they were working on. My son,...

Keep Reading