The other day, the husband of a friend posted a love letter of sorts on Facebook to his wife. He wrote sweeping praise of what an amazing mom she was, how she went above and beyond, and how, as her husband, he often watched in wonder at the woman he married, and how truly lucky he and their children were.
It was tear-inducing for sure. And though, as her friend, I already knew a lot of that about her—she’s spectacular—to see her husband laud her, and publicly too, it was breathtaking.
Fast forward to this morning when I read a meme that reminded women to tell their friends they are doing a good job. Do you know who I think needs that reminder even more than friends? Partners.
What mother doesn’t want reassurance from her partner that she is a good mom? A great mom, in fact. Moms need to hear it.
They need to hear it from their friends, from their kids’ teachers, from extended family . . . but more important than anything—they need to hear it from their partners.
I know a few dads will hop on here and tell me they want to hear it, too. And absolutely, they deserve praise as well. But speaking from experience, as a mom a lot of my own security comes from my responsibility as a mom. When my kids are doing well, I feel mentally at ease and self-confident in the work I’m doing as their mom. Vice versa, during the seasons of struggle, my own security falters, and I question everything I’m doing as a mom. Everything.
It is during the challenging seasons, more than anything, we need that validation. Not just when it’s smooth sailing.
I wouldn’t expect a lot of partners to be so public as my friend’s husband. Not at all. But a simple reminder as you both get into bed together.
A pause during the routine to speak up . . . it’s a gift that would lift any mom’s spirits in a second.
You are a good mom. You are the best mom for our kids.