I Feel So Guilty When I Yell

A Gift for Mom! 🤍

I find myself constantly worrying too much. Worrying about what my kids are eating. Are they getting too much screen time? Am I reading enough bedtime stories? Worrying about the messy playroom. Worrying about potty training before the age of two. Worrying about all the guilt I will feel at the end of the day after I’ve put them to bed. I can’t help but entertain all these thoughts every day—it’s exhausting, to say the least.

RELATED: Dear Kids, I’m Sorry I Yelled But I’m Just So Tired

Mom guilt is something that comes with the package when they hand you your baby for the first time, yet no one prepares you for it.

I feel guilty when my kids have only cereal for breakfast without any fruit or protein.

I feel guilty for letting them watch more than one movie a day.

I feel guilty when my boys ask me to play with them and all I want to do is have a nap or scroll endlessly on my phone.

I feel guilty when I don’t let them help fold laundry because I’m a perfectionist and don’t have the patience.

But most of all I feel guilty when I yell, when I get angry, when I’m frustrated.

I’d say this one is the worst. It’s the mom guilt not many talk about although I’m sure every mom goes through it.

RELATED: I’m An Overwhelmed Mom and Today I’m Feeling Angry

Anger.

Frustration.

Defeat.

Shame.

We feel shameful because to talk about it is isolating, because it’s not normal, because a mother shouldn’t have an emotional reaction to spilled milk. It’s just spilled milk.

Two simple words, so easy to say, but in the heat of the moment, a hurricane would sound less intrusive. It’s like my world is collapsing, the walls are caving in around me, and all I can think about is the mess I’m forced to clean up right now. Something so small is just causing chaos in my head. Firecrackers going off in every direction.

What makes it worse is that I never knew I was capable of being so angry until I became a mother.

Ding-dong, there’s the guilt again. Am I letting the guilt get to me for even wanting to become a mother? Do other moms experience this much anger over something so silly? It’s just spilled milk for crying out loud.

While all of this is true, I remind myself I’m trying. With every bone in my body, I’m trying so very hard.

RELATED: Mom Anger: Taming the Beast Inside

I remind myself I’m a strong mother. I will go to the ends of the earth for these little humans. So, I tell myself it’s OK if they watch another movie today or if I’m out of patience for the day because these children were made for me and I was made for them. Together, we will grow—hand in hand we will flourish. They have taught and will continue to teach me so much.

I will pray to get a hold of my anger, and I will apologize to them at the end of the day like I do every day and I will hold them so close to my heart until our heartbeats sync. I will cherish those moments. I will wipe their tears when they need me to. I will vow to never break their spirits for they have a whole world ahead of them, and I refuse to be anything other than a safe haven for them. I will always be there. I will always be present.

I’ve come to this conclusion: mom guilt will never go away, so take a breather. Take a step back.

It’s normal to yell, it’s normal to break down, it’s normal to feel defeated. Leave the milk—it’s not going anywhere, and the mess is already made.

RELATED: How To Eliminate Mom Guilt – For Good!

We’re only human and we will get angry, let’s just try not to let it consume us.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Suka Nasrallah

Suka is an author residing in Windsor, Ontario with her husband and three children. She is committed to empowering others through sharing her raw and honest opinions, experiences and insights. Aside from writing she loves to draw and finds inspiration for both her art and her words in the most simple elements of life that surround her like the colour of the autumn leaves and a long drive listening to her favorite tunes. She has been published on multiple large social media platforms and has gone viral for her famous piece “67 times”. She was also a nominee for the IRIS awards in 2 categories, September 2021.

Parenting a Child with a Disability Is Holy Ground

In: Motherhood

Some moments in motherhood stay with you. First steps. Preschool graduation. A first dance recital. And then there are harder times. The ones that do not make it into photo albums. The moments when the world feels too big and your child feels painfully misunderstood. When you are parenting a child with a disability, those moments tend to find you more often. This day should have felt like a win. My son had just met a goal in therapy. We walked out of his OT’s office smiling, carrying a page full of lopsided circles that had never looked more perfect...

Keep Reading

I Came Home With a Baby—and Lost Myself

In: Motherhood

I don’t think people truly believe me when I say I came back from the depths of hell after having my son. Birth is often portrayed as pure bliss. The moment a mother holds her baby and instantly falls in love. Life quickly returns to normal. Even in real life, new moms can look like they’ve settled into motherhood with ease. But what no one talks about is the ugly, incredibly hard side of it. Not every mom experiences postpartum depression, anxiety, or OCD. For some, it really is bliss. But for many of us, it becomes a fight for...

Keep Reading

He Doesn’t Always Need Me Anymore and I’m Not Sure How To Feel About It

In: Motherhood

Little boy playing with toys on the floor alone

There is a moment nobody warns you about. Not the sleepless nights. Not the feeding schedules. Not the endless cycle of laundry and worry that comes with keeping a tiny human alive. Those parts everyone mentions. The part nobody mentions is the moment you realize your child has started becoming his own person. And you are standing there watching it happen, equal parts proud and completely unprepared. My son is two years old. And lately he has been leaving the room. Not in a concerning way. In a he has somewhere to be kind of way. He will be in...

Keep Reading

We Keep Calling Her Confident, But She Doesn’t Trust Herself

In: Motherhood

I remember the exact moment it hit me. I was talking to a young girl, the kind everyone praises. She was polite, well spoken, respectful. The kind of girl people point to and say, “She’s so confident.” So I asked her a question I knew would reveal more than her smile ever could: “What do you do when something doesn’t feel right?” She froze. Not in a dramatic way, but in a quiet, almost invisible way. She looked down, shifted her weight, then looked back up at me, searching my face like the answer might be written there. Because she...

Keep Reading

I Knew Something Was Wrong, But No One Listened—And It Almost Cost Me My Daughter

In: Motherhood

After the traumatic birth of my daughter, I searched for others who had experienced vasa previa, but most of what I found were support groups for stillbirth. It’s easy to understand why; vasa previa is one of the most preventable causes of stillbirth, and yet most people, including most pregnant women, have never heard of it. My daughter is almost three years old, and I still carry a complicated guilt about that: why did we get to be the lucky ones? I want to share my story—not to frighten you, but because awareness is the only thing that saves lives...

Keep Reading

I Finally Admitted I Didn’t Want To Be a SAHM Anymore

In: Motherhood

For most of my life, I believed becoming a stay-at-home mom wasn’t just a choice, it was the ultimate goal. The kind of life a “good” woman was meant to want. The kind of life that meant you were doing things right. I grew up surrounded by that message. In conservative spaces, in church circles, in subtle conversations about what a “real” mother looked like. Women who stayed home were praised. Women who didn’t were quietly questioned. I learned, without ever being directly told, that a mother’s highest purpose was to center her entire world around her children and her...

Keep Reading

I’m Not Really Sure How To Do This Teenager Thing

In: Motherhood, Teen

I was not prepared to be a mother of teenagers. Sure, I was warned by other parents about the difficult journey I was about to embark on, but I did not expect it to be this challenging. I remember these two sweet, innocent children who wanted to be with me all the time. Now they barely give me the time of day. How did we get here? Like many parents, we long to have that child who once, a long time ago, called us Mommy and Daddy and begged us to read them another story. Where are those kids I...

Keep Reading

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood

Praying for My Son Send a storm to stop him; Let his friends throw him out. May he drop to the deeps, But gently, please, Stubborn though he may be. If it could only take three days, How my mother’s heart would Rejoice in praise. From the hell you allow him, Let him cry to you. Is not Nineveh and mercy Exactly what he knows He needs— A mercy on enemies He fears You will concede? Please let all the shade wither If his is an angry soul; Humble him and help him follow Where you would have his purpose...

Keep Reading

To the Mom Worrying She’s Not Doing Enough This Summer

In: Motherhood

It’s only the second week of summer, and, thanks to modern-day social media, I feel like I’ve already seen it all. Picture-perfect beach getaways, color-coded bucket lists, backyard neighborhood movie nights, you name it. And if I’m being honest, I’ve already caught myself wondering if I’m doing enough. More than once, at that. As a solo mom of two, I’m still adjusting to our new norm while trying desperately to delicately let go of any expectations tied to all of our past experiences…including summer vacations. I’m reminding myself that our summers won’t look like they used to. At least not...

Keep Reading

Your Worth As a Mother Is Not Defined By How You Feed Your Baby

In: Baby, Motherhood

I’m not breastfeeding my baby. I wanted to. And I was able to for the first several weeks of her life. But as the days went on, I could tell it wasn’t enough for her anymore, so we started supplementing. And sure enough, without warning, she began screaming through nursing sessions, but was satisfied with a bottle. And that’s when I knew what I needed to do. A similar situation also happened with my first. She didn’t gain her birth weight back on my milk alone, so I had no choice but to supplement right away. And before I knew...

Keep Reading

Raising Kids Without My Mom is So Much Harder Than I Expected

Grief

Raising Kids Without My Mom is So Much Harder Than I Expected

How to Avoid Panic and Talk to Your Kids About Coronavirus

Fatherhood

RELATED: Dear Kids, I’m Sorry I Yelled But I’m Just So Tired

But most of all I feel guilty when I yell, when I get angry, when I’m frustrated.

RELATED: I’m An Overwhelmed Mom and Today I’m Feeling Angry

What makes it worse is that I never knew I was capable of being so angry until I became a mother.

RELATED: Mom Anger: Taming the Beast Inside

RELATED: How To Eliminate Mom Guilt – For Good!

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Suka Nasrallah

Parenting a Child with a Disability Is Holy Ground

I Came Home With a Baby—and Lost Myself

He Doesn’t Always Need Me Anymore and I’m Not Sure How To Feel About It

We Keep Calling Her Confident, But She Doesn’t Trust Herself

I Knew Something Was Wrong, But No One Listened—And It Almost Cost Me My Daughter

I Finally Admitted I Didn’t Want To Be a SAHM Anymore

I’m Not Really Sure How To Do This Teenager Thing

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

To the Mom Worrying She’s Not Doing Enough This Summer

Your Worth As a Mother Is Not Defined By How You Feed Your Baby

Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

I Feel So Guilty When I Yell

But most of all I feel guilty when I yell, when I get angry, when I’m frustrated.

What makes it worse is that I never knew I was capable of being so angry until I became a mother.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Parenting a Child with a Disability Is Holy Ground

I Came Home With a Baby—and Lost Myself

He Doesn’t Always Need Me Anymore and I’m Not Sure How To Feel About It

We Keep Calling Her Confident, But She Doesn’t Trust Herself

I Knew Something Was Wrong, But No One Listened—And It Almost Cost Me My Daughter

I Finally Admitted I Didn’t Want To Be a SAHM Anymore

I’m Not Really Sure How To Do This Teenager Thing

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

To the Mom Worrying She’s Not Doing Enough This Summer

Your Worth As a Mother Is Not Defined By How You Feed Your Baby

Previous Post

Next Post

You May Also Like