So God Made a Teacher Collection (Sale!) ➔

Can we talk about mom anger for a minute? And can we all admit just how real it is?

When I was pregnant with my first child, nobody took the time to warn me about it. Sure, they told me about lots of other things like sleepless nights, the lack of showering, how bad my nipples would hurt when I was first breastfeeding, and of course how my body would change.

But nobody told me.

Nobody told me how angry I could get at my kids or just how painful it would be to struggle with mom anger.

Nobody told me that I might yell. Or snap. Or get short with my kids. Or even that I might have the urge to pop their little heads off when I was at the end of my rope. And nobody told me about the embarrassment or guilt that I would feel in those following moments. Momming through the toddler years with patience is hard stuff, am I right? I mean, this stage can just really bite.

Now this isn’t meant to be another one of those “guilt trip” mom posts. No, it’s actually quite the opposite. This is more of a shout of self-awareness from a tired mom in her fluffy pink robe and a hand of grace from a fellow bum wiper extended through the computer screen. Because moms, we need each other if we are going to tackle the beast that’s inside each of us.

If you’re anything like me, the combination of everything being a mom entails and my kids simply being kids can send me over the edge (I believe that’s called “life” right?). Trying to juggle everyday household to-dos, refereeing sibling squabbles, disciplining with patience, answering a million whys all day AND consistently trying to teach my kids how to be kind and loving little people day-in and day-out can be exhausting, both mentally and physically. And when you throw that exhaustion into the mix, you’ve got yourself a recipe for mom anger.

But what I’m learning is it’s not just the mom anger that’s killing me—it’s how the mom anger is coming out at my kids that’s the real problem.

What makes my mom anger so bad is that it’s crushing my kids’ little spirits. And as the mama who has been chosen for them this side of heaven, I’ve got to do better. And I’m not just looking for a quick fix here; what I’m needing is a change of heart.

So what am I supposed to do about it? What are we supposed to do about it, friends?

We’ve got to get to the heart of the problem and we’ve got to learn to slow down.

“My dear mama friends, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry, because mama anger does not produce the goodness that God desires.” James 1:19-20 (translation mine)

Have you ever noticed when mom anger boils up in usthat it’s usually when we’re in a hurry? Take a look back at your last 24 hours and you will see when you were angry with your kids you were probably rushing around—rushing to get out the door, rushing to get household chores done, or rushing your kids to get the words out of their mouths with out it taking them all day. But when we make a conscious choice with our kids to STOP, STEP BACK, AND LISTEN, our reactions toward our kids change drastically. When our reactions toward our kids change, the beast inside slowly becomes tame. And when our mom anger becomes tame, our hearts change. And ladies, our kids notice when there is a change that big in their mamas. Because it’s a change that’s so much more than just something we come up with on our own. It’s something bigger; it’s something holy.

So tomorrow, we strive for more, for better. Because the best kind of change we can show our kids is one that produces goodness. And goodness always wins over anger.

You may also like:  The Body I’ve Always Wanted – Size Mom

Lauren Eberspacher

I'm Lauren and I'm a work-in-progress farmer's wife, coffee addict, follower of Jesus and a recovering perfectionist. When I don't have my three kids attached at my hip, you can find me bringing meals into the fields, dancing in my kitchen, making our house a home, and chatting over a piece of pie with my girl friends. I'm doing my best to live my life intentionally seeking all that God has for me and my family. Follow me at: www.fromblacktoptodirtroad.com From Blacktop to Dirt Road on Facebook laurenspach on Instagram

When Life Feels Hard, Sit in the Light

In: Faith
book plate and mug sitting in light on a table

Because of the way our house sits, there isn’t a lot of natural light that flows into our home. As a girl who loves the sun and works at home, this has been a problem, especially in the winter months. I often find myself identifying deeply with my dog, who walks around the house in search of patches of sunlight to lay in. In fact, there is a section of my kitchen where I often sit and do my devotions because the sun shines down on me—a physical reminder of God’s love and presence. The first time I did this...

Keep Reading

Jesus of the Rock Bottom Rescue

In: Faith, Living
Sad woman sitting on floor

Have you ever hit rock bottom? I have and it was the scariest place I’ve ever been but that’s where I found Jesus. Where I truly encounter the Holy Spirit and the healing power and life He can give. I was raised in a Christian home by good parents that would have given their lives for me. I was raised in the church and loved by my church family. I enjoyed going to church as a child and I loved Jesus my whole life. At the age of 8 years old I asked Jesus into my heart and was baptized....

Keep Reading

While I Wait for Another Door to Open, I’ll Hold One For Someone Else

In: Faith, Living
Woman teaching another woman by computer

I’m waiting for another door. All my life, I’ve been told that when God closes one door, He opens another. And here I am, staring at the imminent end of the business I’ve built from nothing. Closing down what I started up from sheer willpower, too much caffeine, and the bold determination to work for myself. Scratching out what I made from scratch . . . and it feels horrible. God didn’t just close this door. He slammed it shut, boarded the whole thing up, and hammered the nails in where I cannot pry them open. Believe me. I’ve tried....

Keep Reading

Separating Work From Home is a Must For Me

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mom with baby smiling

If I close my eyes and let myself, I can still see the 11-year-old boy with his pale feet sticking out from under the blanket, on his way to the morgue after a gun accident.   If I close my eyes and let myself, I can still see the still, blue form of the 3-month-old who passed away in his sleep. We gave CPR and all the medicines “just in case,” but that baby was gone long before his caregiver brought him in through the door. If I close my eyes and let myself, I can still see the 3-year-old...

Keep Reading

When Teens Are Hard to Love, You Love Them Harder

In: Faith, Motherhood, Teen
Teen boy sitting with hood up

I lay face down on the floor, praying. Praying in the loosest sense of the word. Praying in the Romans 8:26 way—you know, when the Spirit “intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” Because I could not utter any actual coherent thoughts at that point. I was weary and beaten down. Day after day I had been in combat, battling an opponent I didn’t anticipate: one of my children. My own child, one of the people I had lovingly grown inside my body and loved sacrificially for all these years, had staunchly and repeatedly put himself in opposition...

Keep Reading

In This Stage of Marriage, it Feels Like We’re Roommates Who Share the Same Kids

In: Faith, Marriage
Distant couple on phones in bed

How do you get it back? How do you get back the love you once had? Everyone told me marriage was hard and having kids was hard, but I had no idea it would be this hard. I thought everyone was lying because our relationship was solid before marriage. We were best friends. Some days I feel like we’re roommates who share the same kids. It disgusts me even to say that, but it’s the truth. Marriage is hard and has ugly sides to it that everyone seems afraid to talk about. RELATED: Keep Showing Up Even When Marriage is...

Keep Reading

You Are the God of Details, but God These Details Don’t Make Sense

In: Faith, Grief, Loss
Window open with shutters

That was not the plan. What just happened in there? We walked out a bit defeated. More than a bit. I felt deflated. Things were supposed to be different by now. This wasn’t what I asked for or expected. This wasn’t even what they told me would happen. We cross the street in silence. Headed to the car and as soon as I shut the car door, I could no longer hold it in. I let the tears flow. All this unknown. I don’t understand. This is life. This is foster care. This is what we chose. That doesn’t make...

Keep Reading

I Am a Good Enough Mom

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother kissing toddler

I came to motherhood knowing nothing about the job. My mother’s example wasn’t an example at all, more of something to forget, and maybe even get therapy for. My own son was the first newborn I’d ever held. When I became a mom, I was 23 and clueless.  Because of my personality, I wanted to do everything right and parenthood was no exception. I read all the books on parenting I could. I talked to older moms and soaked up all the advice they gave me. Having no idea what I was doing made me look to outside sources to inform...

Keep Reading

God’s Plan For Me Wasn’t What I Expected

In: Faith, Motherhood
Woman walking with children silhouette

I grew up in a family where we knew who God was. We went to church, and we were involved in church. However, when we weren’t at church, time spent in the Word fell to the wayside. Don’t get me wrong, my parents were wonderful people, but we didn’t make that a priority in my house.  Going into adulthood, I realized I had deceived myself into believing I had a relationship with God. I knew God loved me, but I questioned whether I loved Him. I wasn’t living life in a way that was glorifying to Him. I’m not only...

Keep Reading

But God is Still Good

In: Faith, Living
Woman looking out window

“I can’t afford a new one,” I thought to myself as I shampooed another stain. This can’t keep happening. Maybe I made a mistake. I have to make this last. And the couch. And the clothes. And all the things. We are done having babies. The price of food has doubled. It’s astronomical to fill the cars with gas. Things are closing in on me. How can I best serve my family? Survival mode engaged. When I read the news, when I follow the headlines, when I listen to the conversations around me . . .  I hear fear. Loss....

Keep Reading

Get our FREE phone wallpaper to encourage you as the new school year begins

It's bittersweet for a mother to watch her child grow—but you both are ready to soar.