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To the mother of my son’s future wife,

I’m in the midst of dirty diapers and temper tantrums, but I do have days where I think about the future and what it will look like for my son. I wonder who he will be, what he will do and probably most of all, who he will love.

I wonder about the type of woman he will bring home to meet us one day. I have my own thoughts on the type of person I wish my son would fall in love with, but we all know that the heart wants what it wants and we have to have faith that our children will take all we have instilled in them and bring it out into the world and, God-willing, apply them to the person they will choose to spend their life with.

With that being said, I want you to know that although I’m protective of my son’s heart and really do hope he will find someone who will treat his heart as precious, I do respect your role in this as the mother of my future daughter-in-law.

I understand that your baby girl is involved in this love that will form between our two children. I can wholeheartedly appreciate the fact that you have the same amount of worry, anticipation and hope in their relationship as I do. We are like two mirrors looking back at each other, each reflecting the other’s child as we watch their love bloom and become all that we both hoped it would be.

I want you to know that I would never try to take your place in your daughter’s heart. Some mother-in-laws try to work their way into the lives of the women their sons marry, pushing just a little too hard and not respecting the place there that already exists for their own mamas. However, I do hope I can form a special kind of bond with your daughter as time passes, and that I can be there for her when she needs a different point of view or another woman to talk to about things. I want her to feel comfortable coming to me with questions about my son that perhaps only a mama can know how to answer. Just as I hope my son will be open and honest with you, should he have any concern or questions about your daughter.

I look forward to the day when we will both share a grandbaby. From my own experience, I know there is nothing better than a grandma’s love. I hope we can form a partnership that will span our golden years as we both work hard to spoil the babies who will come from the love of our own babies. I want you to know that I will be there for the two of them, when they need some help getting that baby to sleep or need some time together. I hope you will do the same for them because they will both need us in those early days as new parents.

Just know that I will hold your daughter’s heart in the highest of regard, as I will teach my son to do as well.

He will be raised to cherish his wife, to treat her as a precious gem that needs protection but also room to shine. I hope that you will see this in the man he will become and the kind of husband I will teach he will be. I hope in return, you will treat him as an added son, because he is his father’s and my whole heart, too.

I’m so full of hope for the future, and I hope we get to be good friends as we walk together on the path of seeing our babies love someone else more than they love even us, and again as they become parents and we experience a new kind of love all over again.

Sincerely,
The mother of your future son-in-law

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Britt LeBoeuf

Britt is a married mother of two from northern New York. She has an undergraduate degree in Human Services. When she's not chasing down her two young children, she writes for sites such as Her View From Home, Scary Mommy, Filter Free Parents and Sammiches and Psych Meds. Check out her first published book, "Promises of Pineford" on Amazon too. On her blog, These Boys of Mine, she talks about parenting only boys, special needs parenting, mental health advocacy, being a miscarriage survivor and life as a crazy cat lady. 

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