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I Don’t Want My Husband To Be My Last Priority

3 Minute Read

By Angelica Kajiwara

Fun picture of family of five on couch, color photo — Image via The Fresh Walk

Yes, I said it. That thing you aren’t supposed to say out loud, let alone think. Baby makes three and three’s a crowd all at the same time.

My hubby went from doting partner and date night companion to middle-of-the-night snuggler and early morning lullaby singer.

RELATED: Thank You For Being a Daddy Who Buttons the Snaps

It is an intense shift.

It feels like someone dropped a grenade in the middle of my marriage.

Granted, it is a super cute grenade.

In a blink, the marriage I once knew blew up, overnight.

Moonlight and roses aren’t even on my radar anymore. Help with the overwhelming piles of laundry is my idea of romance. My husband has never looked hotter than when he’s changing a dirty diaper. So weird, right? How did this happen?

How did the man I love become my last priority?

Our connection used to be my first thought when I woke up and my last thought before I drifted off to sleep. I loved coming up with fun date night ideas. A spontaneous night out was our favorite way to spend time together.

RELATED: Dear Husband, I Loved You First

Now, we have to make a master plan to get a single night together. The babysitter. The reservations. The time it will take for me to scrub off the spit up and applesauce from lunch. There is nothing sexy about it.

I’m not proud to say it, but he’s last on my list these days. That’s not true. I’m last on the list, so there’s that.

When I write up my grocery list, I don’t think about fun, new recipes we could try together. I think about what my kids will eat without a fight.

When I make plans for the weekend, I don’t think about the interesting places we could explore as a couple. I think about the play places and parks my kids will love.

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When I sit down on our couch after a long day, I don’t think about cuddling up with my man. I think about the few precious moments I’ll have without someone touching me or saying mommy over and over again.

But here’s the thing, I don’t want it to be this way for us.

We made our crazy little crew together, we’re raising them together, and we’ll be here together after they move out.

I want to find a way to connect, and that’s my goal for this year. Even if it means we’ll be chatting over a box of cold fast food the kids didn’t finish. At least we’ll be doing it together. And, I’m going to do my best to bump both of us up on that priority list. We deserve it.

Marriage takes work. Thankfully, there’s an app that can help! Lasting—the nation’s #1 relationship counseling app—provides accessible sessions designed to help you build a healthy marriage. Download and take Lasting’s free Relationship Health Assessment.

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Angelica Kajiwara

Angelica Kajiwara, her husband, her mom and three kids are always up for an adventure! Whether it’s a family road trip in their RV, a weekend away at the newest family destination or a Tuesday at their scenic home in North Georgia, this fun-loving family shares the best, the real and the silliness of it all. Her roll-with-it attitude of, “If we can do it, you can do it” makes her blog a must-read (and her Instagram a must-follow).

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I Don’t Want My Husband To Be My Last Priority

RELATED: Thank You For Being a Daddy Who Buttons the Snaps

How did the man I love become my last priority?

RELATED: Dear Husband, I Loved You First

RELATED: Why Your Wife Seems Angry and How to Fix It

But here’s the thing, I don’t want it to be this way for us.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Angelica Kajiwara

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Mommy, Will You Play With Me?

Could We Take a Page from the ’80s and Stop Overparenting?

A Big Brother Is His Little Sister’s First Friend

7 Is the Bridge Between Little and Big Kid

So God Made a Gymnast

Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

I Don’t Want My Husband To Be My Last Priority

How did the man I love become my last priority?

But here’s the thing, I don’t want it to be this way for us.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Robotics Kids Are Building More than You Can See

Foster Care Kids Are Worth Fighting for

We Aren’t Holding Her Back—We’re Giving Her More Time

A Life Lived Differently Is Not a Life Less Lived

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Mommy, Will You Play With Me?

Could We Take a Page from the ’80s and Stop Overparenting?

A Big Brother Is His Little Sister’s First Friend

7 Is the Bridge Between Little and Big Kid

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