By Her View From Home 
Dear momma who’s afraid she’s doing it all wrong, let me tell you my story. My firstborn son arrived on this planet more than 15 years ago. I had a miscarriage the year prior, so he had an older sibling in Heaven; I was terrified during my entire pregnancy. My husband of five years and I had switched jobs and states frequently, which is normal for pastor families.
I chose to be induced so out-of-state family could be present for my son’s birth, and it was awful. My labor warranted an epidural and narcotics. I fainted several times. My body forgot how to breathe. It was completely miserable.
But he was born healthy. I struggled to nurse him but had no one I felt close enough to ask for help. I was—and still am—an introvert, and reaching out for help felt weak. I nursed and pumped and supplemented until he was two months old. Then I had to go back to my job as a preschool teacher, so we switched to formula. He was a great sleeper, independent and social, and his separation anxiety was fairly short-lived.
We moved a few times before his fourth birthday and could already tell he was intelligent. He was loving, caring, friendly, and obedient, and rarely threw tantrums.
The next few years were tougher. We moved again, added siblings, and started homeschooling. We also experienced the loss of a child. As parents, we weren’t perfect and didn’t always choose the best ways to discipline, but we kept loving him and he kept loving us.
My son is 15 now, and I have tears in my eyes thinking about him. There’s a lot I regret and question. But he’s my protector and defender when his dad isn’t around. He still hugs me and lets me kiss him goodnight. He’s kind but firm with his younger siblings. He loves making new friends. Girls are interested in him, but he says, “Mom, I want a girlfriend I can trust, someone with character, not just the first girl who comes along.”
He has a learner’s permit (he’s already a better driver than I am) and I love our time together in the car. Academically, he’s in the top 8 percent of high school freshmen nationally. He takes every opportunity to work with his hands outdoors. Today, we had a windstorm in our town, and I couldn’t get him to come home afterward because he was too busy helping others.
I have messed up as a mother more than I can say. But I’ve always followed his lead and the needs of our family. I’ve listened to God and tried to do what’s right for my child. I struggle to feel like I should take credit for him, but he is a testimony—to God’s grace, fluid parenting, modeling resilience, and the beautiful side of grief.
So don’t give up, momma. Don’t fall prey to the hype of what makes a “good” mom. Do what you feel is best, and if you find out later it wasn’t best—adjust. I have six kids and while they each have their struggles, my firstborn gives me great hope for them all.
by Mikala Albertson 
by Kristi Killpack 
by Jenny Rapson 
