By Krystal Sieben 
I’m almost 12 years into this mom gig, and I’m finally, finally getting over a terrible case of the shoulds.
I’m going out on a limb here and guessing the shoulds impact most moms, or at least many moms.
Picture this: it’s a frantic morning. You’re packing three lunches, as you do every day, and today, you are tired. You grab a smattering of pantry items and plop them into lunch boxes. Then it strikes. That ugly, judgmental should in the back of your mind: I really should pack a healthier lunch.
Or this: you’re at the park with your kids. The weather is perfect and the park is empty. The kids are loving it. You’re sitting in the car listening to them play happily. You feel relaxed. You sip your coffee. And there it is again—that gross should voice: Sitting in the car? You are going to miss this one day . . . you should get out and play with the kids.
There is always something more or better or healthier or more present you could be doing, but does it always mean you should? No. Being a mom is beautiful and special and lovely and all the things, but it’s also constant and tiring and emotional and a marathon.
If, during a moment of rest, you always give in to that should, you’re robbing yourself of a much-needed break. You’re judging yourself for being a human. And most of all, you’re taking away your kids’ ability to see you model self-care. To see you taking a minute. To see you resting without permission.
I want my kids to give themselves grace, rest, a break when they need it, space to be human, and kind conversation with themselves. And if I really want that, it starts with me. It begins with silencing that pesky should—and even if I still hear it, not listening.
Let these words of encouragement be louder than your should. Sip the coffee. Take the nap. Rest a minute.
And tell that should to shush.
by Alicia Thompson 
