I tearfully called you from the doctor’s office, still on the exam room table with the flimsy drape across my lap. I ran my hand over my pregnant belly as I took a deep breath.
“Mom, my blood pressure is up, and I’m being induced tomorrow. Is there any way you can fly here and watch Hannah?” You said yes before I could even finish the sentence. Within an hour, you had a flight booked, boarded a plane shortly after, flew across the country, and arrived at my home that evening.
You spent the next few days taking care of our toddler around the clock while we were in the hospital. You stayed for another week while we adjusted to life as a family of four, and as I recovered from an unplanned, emergency C-section. You cooked, cleaned, did laundry, played with our daughter, held our son so I could nap, and encouraged me every time I broke down in tears. You not only took care of me but my family too.
My mom has loved me well over the course of my life, but her love feels deeper when I watch her love my children. As mothers, the effort we pour into our children and the sacrifice of self is required. As a grandma, it’s a choice.
You don’t have to show up, call, or check in. You don’t have to know my daughter’s schedule. You don’t have to know her favorite foods, color, or movie. You don’t have to know how my son prefers to be soothed or how to get him to sleep. You don’t have to read books, play games, or participate in living room dance parties. You don’t have to create silly games to convince my picky toddler to eat her dinner.
You don’t have to know what size clothes my children wear. You don’t have to know their routines, schedules, and preferences of songs sung at bedtime. You don’t have to know the differences in my baby’s cries. You don’t have to deal with toddler tears over a crayon breaking. You don’t have to spend hours bouncing a fussy baby.
You don’t have to do any of those things. But you do.
You choose to be a grandma who knows her grandchildren well. You choose to be a devoted grandma who shows up not only for the big moments, like when I gave birth, but also for the little moments too. Little moments that involve reading book after book after book or holding a baby until your arms fall asleep. You choose to be so involved that when you got off the plane, you seamlessly stepped in to take care of our toddler without blinking an eye. You were able to do that because you make every effort to visit as much as possible, video chat at every opportunity, and ask questions about the daily lives of my children.
Now that I’m a mom, I appreciate the sacrifices you made for me growing up on a deeper level because I now make those same sacrifices as a mom. But what I appreciate even more is how you’ve chosen to prioritize your grandchildren. You continue to show up and love my children in a way that only a grandma can.
It is such a gift to have a mom who chooses to be a devoted and involved grandma. The effort and love you pour into my children is a choice you make daily, and by doing so, you continue to show your love for me, your daughter.
Just as I can never repay you for being an amazing mom, I can never repay you for being an incredibly devoted grandma. I can only do my best to pay it forward by trying to be a good mom to my children, and hopefully one day, by choosing to be a devoted grandma.
Thankfully, I have an incredible mom already setting the example of how to do just that.