The calendar tells me that almost three months ago today, my husband and I resigned from our joint position as house parents in a residential foster care ministry.
Three months of no income. Three months of moving to a new state, navigating new doctors, two brand new schools for our daughters, and a smaller living space.
Three months of looking at each other and knowing how hard it is to wait for a paycheck.
One day, I dared to check the bank account, and my body quivered when I saw the balance. We had savings, but I am pretty sure we don’t have much anymore.
Last week, I struggled to sleep each night as I thought about the teenage girls we had to leave. I remember watching their shocked faces when we told them the news. I did not want to quit hugging them. It was hard to let them go, knowing we might never see them again. My body remembered the pain of leaving so quickly without much warning. Yes, it was our decision, and I don’t regret it, but it doesn’t make the separation any easier. When your heart is connected to someone you have cared for, it’s not like Velcro coming undone. It’s more like super glue being ripped off violently. Those nights I spent crying for the teens I have loved helped me grieve. God’s presence helped me say goodbye to being their foster mama.
In our 15 years of marriage, my husband Kevin has always found a job before leaving his current one. This time, we decided to resign before he had found a new job. We interviewed for another house parent position in the same state, but then felt like God was shutting that door. We interviewed online as well, and God shut that door too.
Kevin found us a house near friends we both know well and have missed over the years. We haven’t seen them in such a long time, yet when we get together, they have the same laughs and smiles, we tell the same jokes, and it feels like family. Our daughters excitedly checked out our new house, and the sight of an upper-deck porch and carpeted floors gave me peace. I am going to like it here.
The weather is different, and we have to find a new church again, but Kevin has found us a good home. Soon, he will find a good job.
The Lord is gracious to walk with us through this in-between time of working one place and then elsewhere. My identity has changed from foster and adoptive mama to just Mama. (Usually, MAMA!!) My girls rush in from school, giddy to tell me about a friend’s birthday (with cupcakes) or the art class where they painted today. My house is a flurry of little girls putting on play clothes and running back outside to scooter down the sidewalk with their new friends, who also pronounce words so wrong and adorable like preschool kids do.
I am happy because I know we are supposed to be here. God has led us to this state, to this place, and I trust Him. My husband is working hard to find a job, and I trust him. I don’t need to rush, I don’t need to worry, and I don’t even need to go out looking for a job myself.
My body is safe right here, on my porch, in my home, with my family, trusting God.
by Jordan Burchette 
by Jennifer Thompson 
by Gloryanna Boge 
