It was bedtime at approximately 8:00 when my daughter single-handedly broke my heart in two.
She didn’t break it in a bad way. I wasn’t upset with her and she didn’t tell me that she hated me or something catastrophic. God used her to break my heart in only a way He could.
My 3-year-old said, “Mommy, make sure you check on me in a minute.” My entire world stopped. I actually thought I might not make it another second on this earth. Little did she know that I check on her and her little brother a hundred times before I collapse in bed each night. I make sure she is under her comforter, breathing, and not falling out of the bed at least a hundred times. I have even explained to her that each night after she falls asleep I check on her. I never forget. I always check on her. In her mind, she knows that I am checking on her each night and that I always will.
However, she still feels like I need the reminder. A reminder to check on her because of monsters and scary thunderstorms that might overtake her in the night. In her mind, it is a big deal even though I know all will be fine. If I am being completely transparent about the ordeal I will admit that some nights I get frustrated at the constant reminder. When she is up past bedtime and I am frantically trying to clean the kitchen in peace before midnight, I don’t necessarily want another reminder. I got this. I know what I am doing. All of these thoughts are prideful and selfish and just outright missing the entire point of what God is trying to teach me as a mother. He was trying to show me how I was not fully trusting Him with situations I was concerned about.
How often do we do this with God?
“Hey, God! So I just want to remind you of this issue I am facing. Yeah, I have told you about it a thousand times but just in case you forgot…”
He never forgets. God doesn’t ever forget anything or anyone.
He wants us to come to Him and tell Him all about our heart’s desires and worries but then He wants us to trust; fully trust and believe that He will do what is best for us.
He is always watching over us and doesn’t need a reminder to do so. God doesn’t have a thousand sticky-notes posted on the walls of Heaven reminding Him to fix our problems. He is Almighty God. I may have a thousand reminders going off on my iPhone but God doesn’t. He is all-knowing. That Biblical truth gives me peace.
There are frightening seasons of life that cause us to believe that God has forgotten about us. The loss of a loved one, fatal illness or accident, and crippling depression are a few seasons that can nearly take you under. In those seasons we get especially frantic with our reminders to God about our situation. Just as my daughter, Emmeline, frantically reminds me to check on her before bedtime, we frantically remind God to fix our problems. To my daughter, the shadows on the wall and darkness behind her bedroom curtains are the scariest things she has ever faced.
As adults, we realize life can be really hard. One glance at the evening news headlines is enough to make me want to climb in bed and disappear from the world. We live in a fallen world full of fallen people in need of Jesus Christ. It is sad, hard and difficult.
From dark shadows on the walls to the loss of a loved one who had cancer, God cares. He not only cares but He is fully aware of the situation. Even when we remind Him a thousand times, He still cares for us.
He isn’t easily angered at our requests.
He wants us to trust Him fully and realize that He is in control.
He is in control. He will always be in control.
He will never forget to check on us. He never once stopped checking on us.
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