On the days I feel like I am failing at being a mom, I have to remind myself that I am doing a good job, or at least doing the best I can! I am thankful my littles made me a mom, and I love them to pieces. However, having a strong-willed firstborn often leaves me wanting to pull my hair out and checking myself at the end of the day. Motherhood is an amazing experience, and one that I would not change for anything, but here is a little something for you, momma, on the days when you just do not feel like you are cutting it as a mom.
You, mom, are doing great! In spite of your child misbehaving, you are a good mommy. Even while you are not doing everything perfectly, you are a tremendous mama! Although your child is crying, you are an excellent mom. Equally, if you leave your child at daycare, you are an exceptional mother! Despite your child not being an all star, you are a marvelous parent. Even when your child fails, you are a super mom! Despite the fact your child gets hurt, you are a wonderful caretaker.
We, as mommies, are constantly thinking it is our fault our children are not cooperating. We think must be doing something wrong to make them cry this much. We sometimes even think we are failing our children because we are not pushing them hard enough. We even believe they get hurt because we did not protect them. Is that not our job? Sure sometimes children misbehave because they lack discipline or they fail because they are not guided, but simply by thinking these thoughts, trust me, you are a good mama. If you are concerned you are not trying hard enough, rest assured you are. If you are concerned about your role as a mother in any way, you are a great parent! Being concerned that you are not enough shows that you are willing to do whatever it takes to be a good mother!
Show yourself compassion. Yes, you will make mistakes, and your children may whine, but there are no perfect mamas or perfect children out there, except maybe Jesus. Keep in mind that you would never be as hard on a friend as you are on yourself, so why continue to be so hard on yourself when no one else is? I am not saying to have laissez faire approach on parenting, but give yourself a break every now and again. I know I need to. If you are half as hard on yourself as I am on myself, we should all just give ourselves a pat on the back and praise God everyone survived another day (kidding, a little)!
Unfortunately, all moms doubt their mothering capabilities. Even if every other mommy you know seems to have it all together from the outside looking in, she is still struggling with some aspect of raising her child. So remember, you are not in this mothering, second guessing struggle on your own.
So, mama, this letter is to you to remind you that you are doing great at this motherhood thing, and I just want to remind you to not be so hard on yourself!