I don’t want a new year, new me. I want a new year, better me. A new year, improved me. A new year of growing in myself and learning from my mistakes of the year before.

I think sometimes we get too caught up in that change on the calendar. We think a flip of a page means we need to make radical, drastic changes. We start the diets. We add in the gym routine. We make endless resolutions that we generally end up losing sight of. So what if we removed the “all or nothing” vibe from the New Year? What if we made a real effort to make smaller, more meaningful goals?

Maybe we should be looking at it a little differently. Yes, it’s still a chance for a fresh start, but maybe we don’t necessarily need a new me. A me that strives to do better, maybe? A me that wants more for myself and my family? Of course. But we don’t need a whole new model just because it’s a new year.

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Moms already have so much pressure on themselves. We are constantly competing and comparing—whether we are doing it consciously or not. By the time New Year comes around, we are most likely staring directly into the eyes of major mom burnout. We have survived the holidays (barely). We are probably dealing with an endless cycle of illnesses. We have kids running wild on what’s left of that holiday magic, as they spend a series of days stuck home on winter break.

The very last thing we need is the pressure of a “new year, new me.” It sounds silly but simply changing the phrase from “new me” to “better me” makes a world of difference in my eyes. It takes off some pressure. It takes off some of the extreme. It makes it an attainable goal. It gives you the freedom to really do some soul-searching and think about what will make you better. Not new, just better.

At the end of the day, that’s really what most of us want. I know for me, that’s the case. I don’t want a new me. It took me a long time and a lot of struggle to finally be okay in my skin. To finally be comfortable, and dare I say it, happy with the person I am.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not aware of my flaws. Aware that there are so many ways I can be and do better. There are a million little ways I can make an effort to be the absolute best version of myself all year long.

I can make healthy eating habits a priority for my own well-being and for our family. To set an example for a little girl who one day will grow up to be a big girl with her own relationship with food and (hopefully) healthy habits.

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I can make my mental health a priority to help avoid burnout. Taking a few minutes to myself daily or weekly or whatever it may be doesn’t make me a bad mom. It makes me a mom who wants to make sure her daughter sees the best version of her, not the overwhelmed, overburdened version.

I can make sure I’m prioritizing my time to the best of my ability. And doing it over and over again to adjust to our ever-changing lives. Yes, a clean house and fresh laundry are important. Yes, I have lots of little mom projects I work on in my spare time. But time with my daughter and husband and family is so much more precious and valuable. That tends to take a backseat too often.

So this year, I’m throwing out the “New Year, New Me” approach. I’m not making a list of resolutions, but rather mentally making a list of the things I want to work on. Maybe I’ll find there’s not much I want to change. And here’s the crazy thing . . . that would be fine too. You don’t need a change in the calendar to dictate a change in your life if you don’t want it to.