During the month of November, we hear a lot about adoption. Later this month, on National Adoption Day (November 22), thousands will go to the courthouse and legally grow their family. Adoption can be a beautiful thing. It’s how we chose to grow our family. Without adoption, we wouldn’t have our kids. But we didn’t just get our kids; we got so much more! We care tremendously for our kids’ first families. The ones we know & love and the ones who wish to be unknown.

Getting a call to let you know you’re bringing home a baby in 24 hours is incredible. An instant high. The adrenaline kicks in. Somehow everything falls into place. All your dreams are coming true. As you stare at the sweet baby placed in your arms, you forget everything and your heart fills with love. At least that’s how it was for me. But then you remember.

If I’m bringing home a baby, someone else isn’t.

If my family is growing, another is being torn apart.

My gain is someone else’s loss.

While adoption can be beautiful, it starts as a loss. A loss for that child; losing everything they ever knew. A loss for the first family; saying goodbye to that precious life they created. A heartbreaking loss. The kind of loss that causes physical pain. Watching a mom say goodbye to her newborn baby is something I will never forget. The image is permanently etched in my mind. So many sobs, tears & breaths so deep that she’s barely breathing. Until she goes numb. Just a shell of who she is.

Adoption has given us our happily ever after… but what about the other side of it? Later this month, we plan to share several stories of the different sides of adoption. Stories of love, loss, heartbreak & hope.

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Alissa Kay

Alissa was born and raised in the Midwest and currently calls Wisconsin home. She's happily married to her college sweetheart and she's living out her dreams of being a stay-at-home mom. Although, let's be real, she's hardly ever home. She's the mom to 3 kids who all came to her via adoption. A boy (8) and 2 girls (6 and almost 4!). The kids keep her plenty busy, but when she has free time she enjoys a night out with friends or curling up with a good book.

3 Things We Learned While Waiting For Our Adopted Child

In: Adoption
3 Things We Learned While Waiting For Our Adopted Child www.herviewfromhome.com

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in the baby carriage. Remember that old nursery rhyme? I can still hear it playing in my head. Growing up, I had always assumed that would be my story. The love and marriage part certainly happened for me in an amazing, storybook ending kind of way. However, the baby in the baby carriage didn’t come as quickly for my husband and me. As a few years passed, we began to feel a little restless and disheartened. However, God opened up His perfect plan for our family by leading us to...

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In: Adoption
I Chose Adoption For My Baby, But I didn't Let Go www.herviewfromhome.com

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In: Adoption, Journal
4 Things a Birth Mom Wants Adoptive Families To Know www.herviewfromhome.com

The minutes on the hospital clock dwindled as I swaddled my infant daughter one last time before she was permanently placed in the arms of her adoptive family. In those final moments, I thought my heart might shatter into a thousand slivers without any hope of being mended. I was broken. Scarred. Devastated. When I left the hospital without my baby, it felt like someone was pounding on my chest with both fists and I couldn’t catch my breath. The emptiness that followed was inconceivable. A piece of me, my daughter, was gone. I couldn’t comprehend the magnitude of my...

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In: Adoption, Faith
No Matter Life's Season, God Provides What We Need www.herviewfromhome.com

When my husband and I adopted our older daughter Lilly 15 years ago, she was nine-months-old and weighed about 17 pounds. That might not seem like much, but she was a chunk of a little girl—so much so that people we met in elevators and restaurants in China often mistook her for a two-year-old. I had worked on my cardiovascular fitness in the months leading up to our adoption trip, and my regular runs on the treadmill prepared me to traverse the Great Wall with relative ease. My upper body strength, however, was a different story entirely. My arms and...

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In: Adoption
Acknowledging the Loss in Adoption www.herviewfromhome.com

  “Don’t do it! Adoption is the worst!” His voice echoed through my entire body, his words hitting every unprepared bone, and I clutched the full glass of ice water ready to plunge it in his direction. There were hundreds of people in the darkened bar room, on dates mostly, sitting in the crowd enjoying the comedy show. My insides twisted and lurched, I heard nothing but the reverberations of laughter, and my mind kept envisioning myself walking over to him and punching his face in. When the comedian began working adoption into her show, my body began tingling and...

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In: Adoption, Journal
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The Ache While We Wait to Adopt www.herviewfromhome.com

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How Being Adopted Made My Husband a Better Father www.herviewfromhome.com

My husband’s earliest memories of his adoptive mother are as blurry as the black and white photos he has taped inside a leather-bound family album. He recalls the gentle hands that tucked him into bed each night and the smell of her lavender scented soap, but these memories are intertwined with the last and most painful of all: sitting on the cold hospital steps, muffled whispers in the hallway, and the tight grip of his adoptive father’s hand as they made their way back to the car without his mother. Death was an abstract concept that he was unable to...

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In: Adoption, Journal
Adoption Has Made Me a Better Mama www.herviewfromhome.com

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