So God Made a Mother Collection ➔

When we started our adoption journey, there were endless phone calls and paperwork between the home study agency, the adoption agency, and my husband.

It was exhausting and isolating to continually prove we would make good parents.

The journey felt hard and we often felt hopeless on this emotional rollercoaster.

The wait was long and we often sat in a place of many unknowns. In adoption, you don’t always know what race, ethnicity, or gender your baby will be. The child we would possibly raise felt very distant from our actual lives; we couldn’t always envision the moment we would meet our baby.

We often wondered when it would happen or if it would even happen. 

The wait was hard and I believe it is important to acknowledge how hard it was.

In a parallel way, many birth parents feel the same way. They are on a rollercoaster ride in their unique set of emotions. All their decisions, all their hopes, and all their plans for the future collide in their minds and in their hearts.

Their waiting is hard and I believe it is equally important for them to be able to acknowledge how hard it is.

RELATED: Adoption Means Two Moms Love a Baby

Besides being hard, adoption is unique—it is a different experience for each person. Each situation presents its own sacred journey. It is full of hearts making decisions, hearts beating for one another, and hearts sitting in loss.

Grief and loss are the starting points in adoption on both sides of the journey. Yet, in all the ways they exist in adoption, there’s also hope. Hope of a beautiful community to walk in, and secondly, hope in a purpose-filled family.

First, we get to experience hope in the adoption community. Looking back at the journey a few years later, we’ve realized we have a community surrounding us in the adoption world. In our immediate world, we have birth mothers in the community with us, we have adult adoptees, and we have a community of adoptive parents we do life with (and their kids).

It is through the adoption journey and its hard places of grief and loss that we found community, and it gave us hope.

Hope comes when we have questions about the adoption world and we figure out answers together from people on different sides of the journey. We use our experiences to help one another in a truth-filled and respectful way.

I can anchor myself to truth, knowing I don’t have all the answers nor will I ever know enough about mothering or adoption; but I know people who have experience in the different angles of adoption.

The second biggest way we found hope in adoption is in our family. Our family was created with a purpose and strengthened by our daughter. It is through the gifts and talents of our daughter that we get to experience hope—hope in the form of a family and hope for her to see her passions as fuel for her life story. She has many people cheering for her and encouraging her in her God-given talents.

RELATED: Adoption Is Love

We realized in the hard places of adoption, grief, and loss we were never alone in the journey. And neither were her birth parents—people in our community prayed for her birth parents and most importantly, prayed for our daughter. At the same time, her birth parents prayed for a community that would welcome and love this little girl dearly.

People rallied for people they never met and would never meet, and that is community.

Grief and loss unite two families in the adoption world and a community of people support them both. Because that is what community does in adoption—it breathes hope into the hard places and ignites love out in the world.

Sue Volikas

I've been married to my high school sweetheart, Tim, for 16 years and became a mom 4.5 years ago through adoption to my adventure seeker, Elle. I'm trying to see the beauty and bright spots in broken places. I write one glimpse at a time about grief and loss, mother-daughter relationships, adoption, and faith.

The Bittersweet Beauty of Adoption Love

In: Adoption, Kids, Motherhood
The Bittersweet Beauty of Adoption Love www.herviewfromhome.com

There’s so much I could say about adoption. It’s how my kids became my family. It’s how I met some of my closest friends. Adoption isn’t always something everyone understands so when you have friends who walked a similar road, it bonds you. It wasn’t second best. For our family, it was always our first choice. But despite how much I can say about adoption, there’s even more that I can’t say because it’s just that complicated. All the feels and so many emotions on all sides of the triangle. There’s so much beauty woven between the layers of brokenness...

Keep Reading

A Phone Call Made Us Parents—A Mother’s Sacrifice Made Us a Family

In: Baby, Motherhood
Baby feet in mom and dad's hands

“I’d like you to be the parents for my daughter,” my heart pounded in response to the immediate realization of who was on the other line. That sentence. Those words. I had daydreamed about this moment, but actually hearing them took my breath away. I was filled with the most confusing, exhilarating rush of emotions. Never before had a phone call so quickly pierced my heart with such a barrage of conflicting feelings. I felt extreme joy, sorrow, excitement, and fear all at once.  My husband and I had been waiting for this phone call for what felt like an...

Keep Reading

We are an Adoption Success Story—and it’s Still Hard

In: Kids, Motherhood
We are an Adoption Success Story—and it's Still Hard www.herviewfromhome.com

November is National Adoption Awareness month and over the years we’ve been an adoptive family, my feelings about this month have run the gamut. In the beginning, I just wanted to post beautiful pictures of my beautiful kids and acknowledge what an amazing thing adoption is in my life. Adoption made me a mother and for that I will be forever grateful. But as my kids have gotten older and have been able to express their own feelings about adoption, those beautiful pictures and happy captions haven’t always seemed as honest to our experience. I’ve invested a lot of time...

Keep Reading

 5 Secrets to Connect with Your Kids

FREE EMAIL BONUS

Proven techniques to build REAL connections