By Crystal Fulmer 
Once upon a time, about four children ago, I was striving to be the perfect parent. I didn’t even realize it. I thought my expectations for myself and for my kids were normal and acceptable. I thought my striving was obedience to God.
But through my own distorted lens, I kept failing. I couldn’t nurse long enough. I didn’t feed them the right things. My toddler still wouldn’t sleep through the night. Were they having too much screen time?
I was carrying twins during my third pregnancy when they were diagnosed with a rare condition in utero. I lost one baby at 22 weeks gestation and carried him alongside his living brother for another several weeks. The birth was traumatic, and we almost lost our living boy as well.
Following that, I went through what can only be defined as a postpartum mental breakdown. I began to believe I didn’t deserve to live and that my kids deserved a better mom and my husband a better wife.
After four years of healing, still working out my grief, depression, and anxiety, we decided to foster. Two years later, we adopted a sibling group of three. And the word “resilience” kept popping up in different places.
You better believe that the road God had been leading our family down was full of parental mistakes, lots of apologies, and hardships. Perfection is laughable at this point. But discovering resilience has changed my life.
Did you know the average human makes three to four mistakes an hour and when you’re exhausted, it’s upwards of eleven? As my kids have grown, I’ve realized that my mistakes—owned, apologized for, and used to grow me—have made my kids better, stronger humans.
Truth be told, not everything they’ve learned from me has been stellar or solid, but they are learning from their momma the most important lesson: to always bounce back.
Last week, my youngest son’s teacher wrote about his resilience on his report card, and I had to tether myself to the ground in order to not jump up and down like a crazy person.
Later that evening, my husband asked, “Did you see your favorite word on E’s report card?”
“Yes,” I said, beaming with pride.
So, fellow momma, if you ever find yourself in a spot where you realize you’ve failed at the perfection game, join the club. And, then, grab on to this hope-filled truth: No matter what stage of parenting you’re in, it is never too late to teach a child resilience. Thank God for that.
by Jennifer Vail 
by Wendy C 
by Mikala Albertson 
