As women & as mothers, we put so much pressure on ourselves. We strive to be the best we can be. But here’s the thing, the women I know are doing the best they can. I know so many women who are trying their hardest and are successful. Yet, they don’t see it that way. I know I’m guilty of this too. As an adoptive mom, I feel like I put even more pressure on myself to be the perfect mom. Too bad no such thing exists!
Someone else, another mom, chose me to raise their child. Actually, 3 other moms chose me. They chose me, in part, because they felt like I could do a better job given their circumstances at the moment. And there’s that self-doubt again. I’m not better than any of them. They were facing tough circumstances and didn’t feel quite ready to welcome a baby. I’m not better but ultimately, I’m at a different point in my life. I have the resources, the support & the desire to be mom. We all have love for these children, but sadly, love isn’t always enough.
I’m raising someone else’s children as my own. Talk about pressure. I have to do a good job. I don’t want the other moms to regret their choices. While my kids will probably be sad that they lost their first moms, I don’t want them to be disappointed that they were stuck with me. I want to give my kids the best life possible while teaching them to value faith, family, education & hard work. I want to fill their childhood with happiness, fun & good memories.
But sometimes we have a bad day. I might get frustrated when I catch my 2 year old climbing in the pantry. Again. I might tell my 5 year old no after he asks me for the 20th time to help him transform Optimus Prime. That toy is too hard for this momma! Sometimes I raise my voice and show my frustrations. And then the guilt eats at me… What if their birth moms saw me on a bad day? I would be so embarrassed. I was chosen to be their mom. They could easily have had a different mom. I cannot take my kids for granted. I feel like I can’t have bad days. Yet, we all do. Even the best moms have off days. And really, that’s okay, we’re only human.
Luckily, the good days outnumber the bad days. I just hope my kids think so too! This morning my 2 year old was playing house with her doll. She was playing pat-a-cake with her doll, read books to her doll and then swayed her to sleep. The same things I do with our baby. That made my heart happy; I must be doing something right. Just like all moms.