Dear Morning Sickness,

While I’ve enjoyed the last three months we’ve spent together, it is time for you to go. 

You have not been honest with me. You were only supposed to visit in the morning. Instead, you stick around in the afternoon, evening, and all night, too.

I get no break. You are there when I wake up in the morning, follow me to work and to church, and disrupt my sleep at night. I need some space.

I had GOALS of eating kale salads and fruit my whole pregnancy but you have completely ruined that for me. Instead I’ve been eating saltine crackers and drinking ginger ale for weeks on end. The doctors assure me my baby is OK but how can I be sure? Thank goodness for prenatal vitamins. 

I’ve pinned countless “pregnancy workouts” on Pinterest that I have yet to try. The thought of working out is laughable now. I was going to do lunges, and push-ups and SQUATS. Now, I feel lucky if I am able to walk to work. 

I wanted to take a cute pregnancy announcement photo. But who wants to put on eyeliner or style their hair when they spend a good part of the day staring at a toilet? That sounds dangerous anyway.

Many friends have told me that they eat a cracker or two and you head out the door. And yet other friends you haven’t visited at all. While I wouldn’t wish you on any family member or friend I do wonder why you’ve been so attached to me. 

I heard rumors that you could leave by week nine. No luck. Then people assured me that week 12 I would wake up one day and you would be gone. Yet, I’m nearing week 16 and you are still here.

Also, you are disturbing my sleep. I expect as much after I actually have a baby but not now. I don’t even mind peeing every hour. That I can handle. What I can’t handle as well is not being able to sleep because the nausea keeps me up. Couldn’t you at least allow me that precious time? 

It seem not. Nor at work or the weekends. I almost didn’t make it to the bathroom one day. But not before I got horrified looks from people in the hallways that I was going to throw up on them. Then there was the day I was so happy I drank a whole kale fruit smoothie. That is until I lost it all 20 minutes later.

Everywhere I go I take an arsenal of ginger chews, gum and sour candy to pop in my mouth at a moment’s notice. I’m not sure it’s actually helping or providing a placebo effect, but I continue to carry them.

I religious wear my Sea-Bands but they too seem to be no match for you.

I want to make it through one small group without feeling miserable. It would be a dream to make it to the grocery store without gagging. And I can’t even imagine driving in a car again when I am not clutching a plastic bag, but I can dream.

Now, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. Many people have told me that your hanging around is a good sign – like some sort of sinister guardian angel. If I have you it means my baby is doing OK, and even thriving. 

Then again, my last two ultrasounds have told me as much!

So, morning sickness, it is time we part ways. I am excited about my baby but looking forward to enjoying the journey, too.

Morning sickness, it is time for you to go. 

Sincerely,

Sarah, a sick but very excited mom-to-be

P.S. But for the record, I’d do it all again.