I Will Spend My Life Loving You

When you arrived, my voice let you know it was me, your mother, your person, your keeper. 

You knew my voice, and you’d learn to know my smell. 

My touch was new for you. 

Being held on my chest, as you melted into my arms.

My heart beat, you knew this sound. 

It was the soundtrack as you became you. 

First sound, then smell, then touch, then you could see me. 

Our time together, at first, was my body introducing you to me. 

Letting you know it’s me, your mother.

You felt me before you knew me. 

I felt you before I knew you. 

And there we were, meeting on the outside.

Our first meeting was more than my mama heart could hold. 

Seeing you, you, felt like a shattering of the heart I had to reveal a new heart waiting for me. 

Every part of me was with you.

You were tiny, so small. 

They laid you next to me, our cheeks touched, almost our mouths too. 

Tears streamed down my cheeks. 

You were crying, too. 

Finally, I get to meet you. 

Finally, our journey can begin. 

Finally, you are here. 

Finally, I get to know YOU. 

My dear son, most days I can’t believe you are here. 

I can’t believe I get to be your mother. 

I can’t believe I get to spend my life loving you. 

It’s overwhelming to think of what is ahead, so I stay here with you. 

I stay where we are and everything is us. 

I will always stay by you. 

I will always choose you. 

I will always be your mother. 

I will be with you, always, no matter where I go. 

I love you. 

I love you for you. 

I love you for how I feel around you. 

I love you for the way you explore our world. 

You bring me joy. 

You bring me patience. 

You bring me frustration. 

You bring me comfort. 

You bring me adventure. 

You have changed my world. 

You have quieted outside noise. 

You have attracted me to all that you are. 

And I thank you. 

I thank you for giving me an experience I had no idea would go this way. 

And so we journey together, heart with heart, hand in hand, and intertwined on all the levels. 

We get to journey through it all—you and me. 

I am blessed to be yours. 

I’m always where you can find me, always. 

Forever your keeper. 

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