Our Biggest Sale of the Year Ends Today!🎄 ➔

Days
Hours
Minutes
Seconds

Band of Brothers

Growing up, I always knew I could count on my older sister, Barb. Even though she was almost four years older than me and we were polar opposites, she always seemed to be there for me when I needed her the most.

Our bedroom was in the attic of our tiny house, and our only bathroom was in the basement. I was too afraid to go by myself, so I would wake her up to go with me. I don’t remember her ever once telling me to go by myself or acting put out about it. She would simply take my hand and lead me down the steps.

I have vivid memories of her teaching me to ride my bike. I didn’t bat an eye or complain when she pushed me over and over down the small hill in our front yard until I finally got the hang of pedaling.

When I was a freshman in high school and she a senior at a different school, she defended me against a bully from her school who threatened to beat me up at Godfather’s Pizza.

Shortly after my twins were born, she stayed with me for a long weekend getting up in the middle of the night, helping me feed and change the babies. She was even by my side as I took that scary first outing with not one, but two babies.

And on that terrible day three years ago when we learned that our precious son, Joey, had a brain tumor, she left work in the middle of the day and drove three and a half hours from her home in Iowa to Omaha so she could be with me at the hospital while we awaited the results of his biopsy.

Even now, living in separate cities, her children all grown and mine still tiny, I know that we have a bond that goes beyond the ages and stages of our kids and life experiences.

That is exactly what I want for my boys.

Never in a million years did I dream that I would have five boys. When I was pregnant and learned that both babies were boys, after I was done freaking out about the dirt and the sports and the bugs and the noise, I allowed myself to imagine them together. Really imagine them looking out for one another, having each other’s backs, making discoveries together, being the best of friends, and someday barbequing with their families.

I’ve learned that one of the most wonderful “boy” qualities is their ability to live in the moment. If at one moment Adam is smearing wet mud all over the side of the neighbor’s house, Colin is going to join him. If Jack is creating a massive Lego structure representing a mystical underwater shark universe, then Adam is going to help. And if Baby Evan is having fun splashing in the tub, someone is going to get in with him. And the beauty part is that, quite possibly, two minutes prior to any of these activities, the boys could have been engaged in some sort of knock-down, drag-out fight. But then it’s over, and it’s no big deal. Their bonds aren’t easily broken. That’s another one of the wonderful “boy” qualities that I have come to love.

When Joey was alive, he seemed to be the glue that held us all in place. He was the creator of games, the leader of songs, the great thinker of ideas. He had a special bond with each of his brothers, whether it was his twin bond with Jack, his best friend bond with Adam, or his doting big brother bond with Colin. Once he was gone, I was afraid that the boys wouldn’t know how to keep any of those bonds alive.

But slowly, they have emerged. 

The best friend bond:

The doting big brother bond:

And especially, the “let’s-see-how-much-fun-and-chaos-we-can-create” bond.

These will be the moments that stand out for my boys when they are my age and look back over their childhoods.

For as much as my husband and I try to teach them, to tell them to look out for one another, I think that will just come naturally. I see it every day when Jack waits for Adam in front of the school building. I see it when Adam offers to share his cookie and doesn’t complain when Colin takes the bigger piece. I see it when Colin is thrilled that his brothers are finally home from school and shows them the cool train track he’s built that morning. And I see it when everyone scrambles to help Baby Evan and to make him laugh.

Last Monday was Grandparents’ Day at the boys’ school, and my mother sent me an e-mail that confirmed what I’ve come to know:

“When we went to play bingo, we could either go to the gym with the kindergarteners or to the cafeteria with the 2nd graders, since we had one of each. I asked the boys where they wanted to go and Adam said: “We’ll let Jack choose.” And Jack chose the gym with the little kids. I thought that was kind of cute – Adam let Jack choose, and Jack chose Adam’s group. At that moment I thought there is great hope for this band of brothers being a close-knit group someday! I think, even though they’re too little to realize it right now, they really have a lot of love and respect for one another.”

The band is emerging and the bonds are strengthening. And that warms this mother’s heart.

 

In what ways do your children show their bond for each other?

 

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Kathy Glow

Kathy Glow is a wife and mom to four lively boys and one beautiful angel in Heaven, lost to cancer. Most days you can find her under a pile of laundry ordering take-out. When she is not driving all over town in her mini-van or wiping “boy stuff” off the walls, she is writing about what life is REALLY like after all your dreams come true. Her writing has been featured on sites such as Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Good Housekeeping, and Mamalode; but Her View From Home is her favorite place to be. Her blog is at www.lifewiththefrog.com. You can follow her on Facebook at Kissing the Frog.

What My Son Taught Me About Joy at the Holidays

In: Fatherhood, Uncategorized

There’s not a lot going on right now, but that doesn’t mean my family can’t still enjoy some of our favorite seasonal pastimes like trimming the Christmas tree, counting down to Santa’s arrival, and riding bikes around the neighborhood and loudly critiquing everyone’s decorating choices. Amidst the December doldrums, the announcement of a holiday decoration contest by our neighborhood HOA certainly sent a frisson of excitement through our household. My children are enamored with decorations anyway, but the prospect of a cash prize just for filling our yard with more inflatable monstrosities dialed up their excitement level to an 11....

Keep Reading

Christmas Magic May Look Different For a Special Needs Family

In: Kids, Motherhood, Uncategorized
Little boy looking at Christmas tree

Christmas can be a very magical time of year with Santa, decorations, presents, and family gatherings. It can also be a very tough and difficult time for families with special needs children. For many of us as parents, we are hanging on by a thin thread as we try to honor the traditions of our extended families while keeping our children with special needs happy and on routine.  My son was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder at 21 months and is non-verbal. He is now 5.5 years old. He doesn’t like the noise or chaos that gatherings bring. Sometimes lights...

Keep Reading

Kevin Hart to Star in Movie About Fatherhood That Promises to be a Tear-Jerker

In: Fatherhood, Uncategorized

Imagine having it all: you’re happily married to your high school sweetheart, settled into your dream home in Los Angeles, and over-the-moon excited for the birth of your first child—a baby girl. Then, without warning, tragedy strikes. Just 27 hours after your little girl enters the world, your wife suffers a pulmonary embolism and dies instantly, without ever holding the daughter whose arrival she had so eagerly awaited. Heartbreaking stories like this seem like the stuff of fiction, but for Matt Logelin, it is a terrible reality. After finding himself the sole caretaker of his newborn daughter, Maddy, Matt turned...

Keep Reading

Why Didn’t We Think of That? Dad Invents Candy Chute for Contactless Halloween Trick-or-Treating

In: Uncategorized

We know we aren’t the only dads who had big dreams for Halloween this year—after all, how often does the spooky holiday actually fall on a weekend? And one that coincides with a super rare blue moon, no less! Our kids have had their costumes picked out since last October, and we were fully prepared to endure 48-hour sugar highs and demand extra candy tax in compensation. Of course, no one could have predicted a global pandemic would throw a wrench into those plans, leaving many of us scratching our heads as to how to make a highly anticipated event...

Keep Reading

To the Great-Grandparents: Thank You For Loving Us So Well

In: Uncategorized

Can we take a minute to talk about the blessing of great-grandparents? Grandparents (i.e. your own parents) spoil your kids, of course—it’s a time-honored tradition, really. The reward for surviving parenthood with your own children is spoiling your grandchildren with abandon. All that spoiling prompts the inevitable wondering, “Where were these people when they were raising me?!” Your parents limited television and junk food. They enforced rules and consequences. Who are these pod-people who’ve invaded your parents’ bodies and are now spoiling the living daylights out of your children? This question doesn’t exist where great-grandparents are concerned. You know exactly...

Keep Reading

I Want My Son To Take Pride in His Heritage

In: Uncategorized
Mother holding newborn baby

I don’t know how many times I’ve been asked the same question, THE question. The one I have grown accustomed to hearing yet not grown accustomed to answering. “What are you?” I’ve been asked this by people I’ve known for months and people I have known for mere seconds.  As a child, I had my prepared answer, “I am Polish, German and Native American.” Not the full story. As an adult I’ve tested out different responses, “I am American; I am mixed.” Not the answer they want to hear.  The truth is I was ashamed. Ashamed as a young child...

Keep Reading

To the Average Kid: One Day You’ll Realize You’ve Always Been Exceptional

In: Uncategorized
kids students graduate graduation academics www.herviewfromhome.com

Hello average and below average kids and teenagers! Today you will not be on a stage receiving an honor, a pin, a certificate, a sash, a cord, or a badge for high academic achievement. Nobody will tell you your future is bright and positive, or that you can do and be anything you want. You will shuffle along the rest of your school days and years sheepishly wearing the “average” badge—which is actually no badge at all, rather it’s just you sitting small watching everyone else standing tall with honor. But I want to tell you something. Something incredible. It’s...

Keep Reading

I’m Not a Princess – But I’m Raising One

In: Kids, Motherhood, Uncategorized
I'm Not a Princess - But I'm Raising One www.herviewfromhome.com

It was at my baby shower that I received my daughter’s first princess tiara. It was a gift from a family friend and it was truly beautiful. Radiantly adorned with Swarovski crystals and perfectly sized to fit atop a tiny toddler’s head. I remember my mom gushing over it when I unwrapped the box after the party was over. I scowled at it. “She will not wear that thing,” I said. My mom looked confused. “But she’s going to be a little girl. Of course she will want to wear it!” she said. “My daughter will never be called a...

Keep Reading

Make Wanderlust a Must: Raising Kids Who Love to Travel

In: Kids, Motherhood, Uncategorized
Make Wanderlust a Must: Raising Kids Who Love to Travel www.herviewfromhome.com

The love of travel is perhaps one of the greatest gifts parents can give their children. It breeds curiosity, tolerance, adaptability and a sense of adventure. Whether it’s three hours or three continents away, traveling broadens the mind and restores the soul. Plus it’s just plain old FUN. But there is a difference between taking your children on a trip and cultivating a love of travel, and that difference lies in how you involve them in the process. Get their input. Where do they want to go and why? What types of activities interest them? While an African Safari may...

Keep Reading

For the Expectant Mom: You’re In For a Crazy, Beautiful Ride

In: Humor, Kids, Motherhood, Uncategorized
For the Expectant Mom: You're In For a Crazy, Beautiful Ride www.herviewfromhome.com

This article is meant for the woman who is expecting her first child. Congratulations to you momma. I am so happy for you and wish you all the best. You are in for a lifetime of happiness and joy, and also a whole lot of crazy. There are a lot of articles out there for expectant moms that talk about the joys of motherhood, or tips on how to survive, but here are the top ten things I’ve learned since becoming a mom four months ago myself. Take heart, it’s a great adventure. Days of eating meals with your spouse...

Keep Reading