I’ll never forget one of the most romantic nights I had with my husband. I mean, the passion was intense. By the way we were looking at each other all night, it was pretty obvious where things would be headed later on. That night, I had never felt more beautiful or closer to my husband. And I think it had something to do with what I was wearing and what I was doing that sent my man over the edge…
Blue jeans and a cut off, covered in grease and rust from his 1970 c10 short bed pick up truck.
For most of our dating years and early marriage, I thought the thing that would turn my husband on the most was a little black dress and overly-volumized hair. I thought that what he wanted was a fancy night out on the town and four course meals that cost entirely too much money. But what my husband really wanted…what he longed for…was a playmate.
No, not that type of playmate. He wanted a friend, a best friend, to play with.
Have you ever noticed how little kids want that one friend to do everything with? Our husbands want the same thing. They want someone who takes interest in what they love. They want a woman who wants to go out and do crazy things side by side. And they long for someone to go on adventures with them. So how do we get from the wife on the couch to the wife of his wild heart?
We have to learn how to play again.
For some of us, this might be a hard thing to do. The reasons to not be our husband’s playmate are endless, We’re tired. We don’t have enough time. It takes too much effort. We might feel stupid. And the one excuse that is killing our ability to be the playmate of our husband dreams: We’re just not that into what he likes to do.
Luckily, the answer is simpler than you think: Ask your husband what he loves to do and then do it. Period. Find out what it is that makes him tick and what brings him the most joy and get out there and experience it with him. Even if it’s uncomfortable; even if you have no clue how to do it or anything about it, go and ask him to play.
Here’s what I’m talking about….
Find out his favorite sports team, buy some tickets and go to a game. Get each of you a couple of new team shirts, grab some nachos and go enjoy the competition. You could even take it a step further and cheer his team on. Ask him the rules, have him teach you the ins and outs of the game and have him tell you his favorite player’s stats.
Is your guy the more outdoorsy type? Take an afternoon in the great outdoors and spend some time together. Go sit in a deer blind, have him teach you how to bait a hook, take a ride on a couple of 4 wheelers, or go for a walk or a hike in the mountains. Enjoy the beauty of nature together and let him show you a new side of it.
Maybe he’s more of a video game guy. Start out with Mario Brothers and work your way up. Have him teach you how the controllers work, make his favorite snack to munch on and get lost in his virtual world. Just make sure you don’t get as addicted as he is.
And as to what you thought this post was originally about… get out there and be a playmate in the bedroom. Be spontaneous. Or plan it out. Try something new. Or stick to what’s working. Any way you choose to do things, sit down together and talk about what each of you wants. We’ve made it such a taboo to have to talk about what we like or don’t like sexually. But how are we supposed to know what our husbands like if we don’t even ask? We were created to enjoy sex in our marriages. And it’s supposed to be good (awesome). So don’t forget to ask him about that, too.
Now go and play.