Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉

 Dear Target,

I stopped in for a visit today, naively thinking that we could spend some quality time together. The kids and I were in the spirit of the season, and had some shopping to do for our Angel Tree adoptee. I had seriously considered shopping online, but I thought meeting you in person would provide a good lesson in generosity for my children.

I started off in the kid’s clothing section, which soon turned into a desperate attempt to find anything, anything at all in size 2T. I searched for what felt like hours, and when I finally found an outfit, it must have been the most expensive one. Nearly $30 for a toddler shirt and leggings? I thought you were joking. And I guess you were, because I then spotted your BOGO clothing sale signs, which lessened my sticker shock, but irritated me as I wondered how long I would have to spend looking for another outfit. As the toddler screamed and his sister removed every piece of clothing from the rack, I frantically searched. And when I finally found another outfit, I was disappointed as it was less than attractive.

Surprisingly, I easily moved through the shoe section and toy aisle, before making my way to The One Spot. You know, that one special spot where I just can’t say no. By this time the toddler was crying uncontrollably and tossing things out of the cart. His sister was moving uncontrollably, her mouth moving as much as her body. A prisoner to chaos, I could no longer concentrate, and mindlessly began throwing those delightful dollar items into the cart. Coloring books, gift bags, stickers, notebooks, and more. At one dollar each, you do know how to excite me.

My children’s unruly behavior continued in the Christmas section, except now, the toddler was using your shiny rolls of wrapping paper to hit his sister in the face, not forgetting to whack a few of your other guests while he was at it.

(You may also like: Dear Target, We Need to Talk)

But it wasn’t the behavior of my children, or my disappointment with your clothing selection that turned me off. If was the checkout experience.

It was the long line (in one of only four open lanes, by the way) in which I was given dirty looks by put-together-looking women who casually sipped on their hot coffee. I know my kids aren’t too much for you, Target, but apparently they are too much for some of your other guests.

It was your poor internet connection which made it impossible to use the Cartwheel offers that you had promised me.

It was the items that had rung up incorrectly, leading to a longer wait as a price check was being done.

It was the realization that I had spent $36 on 36 dollar items that would soon be scattered haphazardly around the house, my One Spot excitement, now turning to anxiety.

It was your refusal to accept my gift card as payment, the gift card that had shown up fully paid for in my email this morning. You told me that I had to wait until tomorrow to use it because of some supposed gift card sale that was happening. I didn’t understand, and your inability to fully explain your refusal of my payment method made me feel like you were keeping secrets.

So, those clothes that I had desperately searched for? The ones that had to be price checked? Well, they were voided because I wasn’t going to dish out more cash when I had a perfectly good gift card to use, online that is. After sensing my irritation, you attempted to appease me by handing me a promotional gift card for apparently buying just the right amount of your favorite items. But that one had gone missing by the time I made it home, so your attempt to please me had been done in vain.

I had envisioned parting ways, fully satisfied, with all my needs being met. Instead, I left feeling depleted, confused, and irritated. You’ve changed, Target. I feel deceived and taken advantage of. Instead of teaching my children about generosity, you taught me that we can’t see each other in person anymore. You seem better able to meet my needs behind the veil of the internet.

So, I’ll see you online, Target. Where the inventory is always stocked and priced correctly, where there are no lines filled with snooty women, where you cannot tempt me with your One Spot pleasures, and where I can use my gift card without without being fed a line of nonsense. I’ll see you there, tomorrow.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Jenny Albers

Jenny Albers is a wife, mother, and writer.  She is the author of Courageously Expecting, a book that empathizes with and empowers women who are pregnant after loss. You can find Jenny on her blog, where she writes about pregnancy loss, motherhood, and faith. She never pretends to know it all, but rather seeks to encourage others with real (and not always pretty) stories of the hard, heart, and humorous parts of life. She's a work in progress, and while never all-knowing, she's (by the grace of God) always growing. You can follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

Welcome to Periods in Your 30s and 40s

In: Health, Humor
Welcome to Periods in Your 30s and 40s www.herviewfromhome.com

Do you remember that day in the fifth grade when the boys and girls were separated for the “Sexuality and Development” talk? Some nice old lady health teacher came into your room and gave you some straight talk about how the next few years were going to go for you. It was awkward and shocking and you knew your childhood would never be the same. When you hit your mid-thirties, there should be some kind of Part Two to that conversation. All the ladies need to be rounded up, lead into a dimly lit classroom that smells vaguely of pencil...

Keep Reading

How to Stay Married For (at Least) 10 Years

In: Humor, Relationships
How to Stay Married For (at Least) 10 years www.herviewfromhome.com

In July, my husband and I celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary. We got married back in 2008 following my college graduation. I was only 22 at the time and him? Well, he was all good-looking at the prime age of 30. There were may vocal skeptics who chimed in, unasked of course, to share with us their belief that we would “never last” and that it would “never work”. To them, I say, “You were wrong! Na-na, na-na, boo-boo!” Just kidding, of course; I don’t talk like that. I am a respectable mother, not a four-year-old child and thank goodness...

Keep Reading

How to Put Your Children to Bed in 46 Easy Steps

In: Humor, Kids
How to Put Your Children to Bed in 46 Easy Steps www.herviewfromhome.com

It was time. It had to happen. We’d had a good run at pouring our children into bed at 11:30 p.m., sweaty, sticky, and exhausted from their head to their toes.  But bedtime had to get back to its (somewhat) regularly scheduled program.  When we had one kid, bedtime was a breeze.  Each night, we had a 10 step process. And the steps were simple. And very, very routine. 1. Toys away at 7:10 p.m. 2. Up the stairs at 7:15 p.m. 3. Change into pajamas 4. Brush teeth 5. Read two books 6. Say prayers 7. Light off 8....

Keep Reading

Welcome to the Dreaded Man Cold Season

In: Health, Humor
Welcome to the Dreaded Man Cold Season www.herviewfromhome.com

Your husband has a mere headache, but he automatically now believes that he is going to be a chronic sufferer of cluster migraines. Or, maybe he got a small splinter, but he now believes that he is, without probability, going to end up with a staph infection. And, well, that cough of his (cough, cough) is going to have him laid up in bed for the next two days because he is just feeling so terrible. Sound familiar? It is all too familiar to me. What am I talking about? How men are babies when they get sick. Yes, I said it. I...

Keep Reading

Wanted: Imperfect Friends

In: Humor, Relationships
Wanted: Imperfect Friends www.herviewfromhome.com

Is anyone else as sick of the facade as I am?  Because on social media, everyone seems to have their crap together. But I sure don’t.  Scrolling through my feeds leaves me feeling inadequate and lonely, desperately lonely.  I know social media is only the high points. I know there is always more going on behind the scenes that I don’t know about. But at the end of the day, I just feel like there’s no one who would want to be friends with little, imperfect, insignificant, me.  So, I’m placing an ad.  Wanted: Imperfect Friends A kind, but quirky,...

Keep Reading

51 Reasons a Mom Might Be Late

In: Humor, Motherhood
51 Reasons a Mom Might Be Late www.herviewfromhome.com

I’ve got a question for all you moms out there: Have you ever been late? Yeah, me neither. Just kidding! We’ve all been there. We have an appointment, a meeting, an event, or just a playdate, and we want to be on time. In fact, it often looks and feels like we’re going to be on time. We’ve planned ahead. We have everything in order, and we are ready to head out the door. But then, without fail, the inevitable happens. Actually, it seems that a good number of inevitables happen. And we’re running late, again. Being on time is...

Keep Reading

5 Ways Boy Moms Always Ruin Our Fun

In: Humor, Kids
5 Ways Boy Moms Always Ruin Our Fun www.herviewfromhome.com

We know Mom loves us, don’t worry about that . . . but sometimes it seems like she’s just making up a whole pile of rules to ruin our fun. For instance, we’ll be in the middle of a huge independent project and she’ll come along, usually shriek, and be like, “You can’t use water guns to fill up the bathtub! And why are you shooting water into the toilet? Ewwwwww.” And just like that, we have to pack it all up and return to a clean orderly activity. A controlled activity. A zero fun activity. We’re not even sure...

Keep Reading

Should Grandparents Get Paid to Babysit?

In: Humor, Journal
Should Grandparents Get Paid to Babysit? www.herviewfromhome.com

While swaying in side-by-side hammocks, my daughter paid me the ultimate compliment: “It gives me enormous peace of mind while I’m working, to know you’re watching my son and that he’s in the most capable hands.” Then 10 seconds later while I was still orbiting in happy mode, she insulted me by offering to PAY me for this glorious privilege. We engaged in a little tit for tat tug of war with no clear winner. And the debate rages on, at least in our household. How about yours? To pay or not to pay the loving grandparents who bless us...

Keep Reading

Kids Today Will Never Know the Joy of a 90s Summer

In: Humor

So you want a good old fashioned 90s summer, huh? I don’t blame you. The 90s rocked! (Literally, thanks to Kurt Cobain and Eddie Vedder.) I’m not going to lie—I take slight offense to the use of “old fashioned” and “90s” in the same sentence, as I’m pretty sure the 90s were like 10 years ago, but I’ll still help you out. If you’re really doing this though, you’ll need to ditch some of your modern conveniences, like your phone. I know, I know, but it’s a requirement. You may bring a beeper or clunky flip-phone, but no internet allowed...

Keep Reading

Dear Kids, This Is Not An Uber

In: Humor, Kids
Dear Kids, This Is Not An Uber www.herviewfromhome.com

Paid automotive transportation is pretty simple. You hop in the backseat of a cab, share the address where you are going and aren’t required to speak any longer until you arrive at your destination and pay the driver. The same primary rules apply to taking an Uber or Lyft.  The unwritten rules have been in place for some time. Your trade-off for taking paid transportation is a ride in the backseat, where you don’t have control over the music, the temperature of the car, the route the driver takes or how fast the trip takes, not even the amount of...

Keep Reading