Gifts for Mom, Grandparents, Besties and YOU🎄 ➔

My friend Gwen says that everything is created twice: once in someone’s mind and then actually and physically created. I was thinking about this the other day as I listened to a radio station where the DJ read a verse that mentioned “the God who conceived you” and I cried. 

To think He would think and dream of me. To know that before my children had their hard beginnings, He dreamt of them. Because the world needed them. The world was missing them and it was missing me. The weight of that is almost too much to bear.

My kids come from hard places, both adopted domestically as infants. Their little brains have been marked by trauma and rejection since birth. And to think that the Savior of the Universe saw them and saw me and thought we were a perfect fit. To think that He dreamt of my family is too much for me to bear at times.

This morning as I was reading the story of Sarah and her longing for a child. It’s an ache I know all too well. And it’s an ache that does not grow fainter with time. (That’s a lie from the pit of hell.) I was reading her story and thinking about Mother’s Day and thinking about the passing of the years for her.

What must that have been like? She had no social media or even books to pass the time. She had no distractions except the everyday mundane of life—washing Abraham’s robes, sweeping dust out of tents, gardening, cooking and then doing it all over again still without the naseau of morning sickness or without the kicking of little feet on her uterus. Sarah had blood and the moon and the twinkling stars. The same ones the Lord had used as an object lesson to show her husband how many offspring he would have. Those beautiful stars probably taunted her. I wonder if she hated looking at the promise every single night. 

That verse from the radio though “the God who conceived you”—the God who conceived Sarah. Before Sarah took her first infertile breath, the God who literally spoke creation into existence, the one who breathed light and life—He dreamt of her. And He thought the world needed her.

What do you even do with that? In the everyday, in the muck and mire of waiting and hoping and washing robes and sweeping dust. What do you even do with that? 

What do you do with a promise so big while living with empty arms and going to sleep each night on tear-stained pillows? I have no easy answer except to look up. The stars He created. The sunset He timed perfectly. The moon He set there. He holds it all and He holds you. And me. And our prayers and our longings do not disappoint him. And they are not too much for him to bear.

Sarah’s life is testament to that. She received her promise. She received the fulfillment of her desire and her story is hope for all of us. And hope itself is enough. Hope is not wasted. It’s NEVER wasted. So keep on hoping and keep on dreaming and hold tight to the one who is big enough to hold all of your hopes and dreams. Hold tight to Him and to the promise that He sees you. He dreamt of you. And He thought the world needed you.

Originally published on the author’s blog

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Kerry Ann Todd

I'm an adoptive mom, infertility survivor and lover of Jesus. I live in Maryland with my husband and my two children. I love writing words and telling this amazing story of my life for His glory.

What Single Moms Really Need

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Mom holding toddler on hip outside on dirt road

No, you’re not a single mom for a weekend. I’ve heard it said at social gatherings, in passing at church, and on social media. Perhaps the words are being uttered in a state of awe as if comparing themselves to valiant warrior princesses, knights in shining armor, heroes.  Usually though, it’s an under-the-breath complaint about being left by their otherwise attentive and loving spouse for the week or weekend. “I’m a single mom this weekend; my husband is on a golfing trip with his brothers.” “My husband is away for work, so I feel like a single mom this week.” ...

Keep Reading

You’re Never Alone in the Trenches of Motherhood

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother holding infant, color photo

This one goes out to all the mamas in the trenches. To the mamas in the kitchen stirring dinner with a baby on their hip. To the ones waking up an hour earlier than the rest of the house to pump after waking up countless times throughout the night to attend to both your toddler and baby. The ones who must take care of business from lobbies, bathroom floors, lunch breaks, and the carpool line. To the mamas who pass on their own birthday presents so their kid’s medical bills can be covered. RELATED: This is the Sacrifice of Motherhood...

Keep Reading

When You Stop Running into My Arms, I Pray You Run to Jesus

In: Faith, Motherhood
Child and mother walking on beach in sunlight

I love seeing the light in my little girl’s eyes when I pick her up from school at the end of the day. Her eyes open wide, and she runs to me loudly saying, “Mommy!” for all to hear. I pick her up and give her a big hug and kiss on her cheek. She smiles ear to ear and knows she is loved and adored. She feels safe in my arms, and I pray that never changes. I want to always be her biggest cheerleader and greatest fan–holding the streamers on the sidelines in shades of brilliant gold encouraging...

Keep Reading

Praying For Your Kids is Holy Work of Motherhood

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mom hugging daughter by bed with open Bible

While excavating Mount Masada in Israel, archeologists discovered something extraordinary . . . a date palm seed. It might not seem like much (especially if you’re like me and totally expected it to be a new dinosaur or something), but this particular seed sat dormant in the dry desert soil for almost 2,000 years. Scientists ended up finding several more seeds like it throughout the Judean desert, and with a little TLC, they were able to sprout not just one but six of them. Six date palm trees, now bearing fruit that hasn’t been seen in two millennia. Incredible, right?...

Keep Reading

Choose to Be a Mother, Not a Martyr

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother holding baby, black-and-white photo

There is a trend in motherhood right now . . . maybe it’s happened for a long time, but now since I am a mom, I am experiencing it: this idea that everything we do as moms makes us a martyr. And honestly, I am guilty here more times than I’m not. RELATED: You’re a Mother, Not a Martyr We have these inner, silent dialogues between us and our husbands, parents, in-laws, and friends. Things we say and think, but they never hear. They compound on each other in the hallways of our hearts before bitterness creeps in without us...

Keep Reading

Motherhood Reminds Me How Much I Need Jesus

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother holding baby in nursery, color photo

Parenting is not only about the work it takes to raise up a child, but it’s also about continuing the work of being raised in Christ. Stripping back our innermost layers of selfishness and laying our pride exposed. Seeing ourselves as the center of our own personal schedule is no longer an option. Feeling like we have power over anything quickly vanishes into thin air. Parenthood pushes us to surrender and accept God’s sovereign control. Parenting sanctifies us.  Parenting shows us our sinful attitudes. When plans are ruined, when another blowout spoils the perfect outfit you chose, when your toddler...

Keep Reading

When Did I Become Such an Angry Mom?

In: Faith, Motherhood
Woman with head in her hands

My oldest children and I had just navigated a tabletop board game. My son lost. My daughter won. I also lost. She’s four. For the record, I was trying my best. We were all putting the game away together when my son grabbed my daughter by the face and yelled, “IT DOESN’T MATTER ANYWAY BECAUSE YOUR BREATH STINKS!” And then, Mount St. Meredith erupted. I (not so gently) removed him from the situation and (not so calmly) insisted that he . . . brush his own teeth. Yep. For the record, I was trying my best. RELATED: Mom Anger: Taming...

Keep Reading

Angel Babies are Heaven’s Gatekeepers

In: Faith, Grief, Loss
Mother and baby silhouette

I never seemed to have the right words. I didn’t have the right words at four years old when my parents lost my 11-month-old brother, and I never seemed to have the right words as I watched family members and close friends lose both the new life growing within their wombs and the beautiful, precious life resting in their weary arms. So, I did what I thought would offer the most comfort. I simply tried to show up and be there the best I could. I shopped for their favorite treats. I dropped meals off on front porches and toys...

Keep Reading

Secondary Infertility Took Me By Surprise

In: Baby, Faith, Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Mother holding toddler by open door

Selfish. Unfair. Guilt stricken. Shameful. Those were just a few of the words that regularly stabbed my lamenting heart as I longed for a second child. Yes, I was grateful for my healthy, beautiful boy who made my dream of motherhood come true, but why did I not feel complete—was he not enough? Was I doing this motherhood thing all wrong and didn’t deserve a second child? Why did I long to give him a sibling so badly knowing millions were aching for their first—how could I be so insensitive? So many questions, so many buts and so many whys....

Keep Reading

So God Made a Farm Mom

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Family walking on farm road at sunset

One day, God looked down at all the fields, barns, pastures, and farmers and knew He needed someone to take care of all the families on the land. He knew it had to be someone confident in herself to see that the farm doesn’t come first, even when it sometimes feels like it does. He knew the farm needed someone who understands her role is important, too—especially during the seasons of motherhood when she’s not out driving a tractor. Someone proud to stand by her farmer’s side.  So God made a farm mom. God knew farm kids would need someone...

Keep Reading