Order Soon for Christmas Delivery!🎄 ➔

Superstar couple Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher are showing us that “stars are just like us” in a new series for the faith-based documentary series “I Am Second.” But the couple aren’t spinning relatable tales about losing their car keys or sleepless parenting nights—they are talking about the pain of miscarriage. In their case, times three.

According to the March of Dimes, about 15-25% of known pregnancies will end in miscarriage (that number grows up to 50% when you include miscarriages that occur so early that a woman has not yet missed her period.) But as anyone who has ever lost a baby knows, the fact that it is common does not make it any less painful.

That’s a hard truth that Mike Fisher and Carrie Underwood had to learn as well.

The couple talks about their initial differences when it came to starting a family, with retired NHL player Fisher saying, “I always wanted lots of kids,”  while the grammy-winning Underwood countered, “I was never good with other people’s kids. Why would I be good with one of my own?”

Their son Isaiah, now 5, leveled the playing field in their home, causing Underwood to fall in love with motherhood and want more kiddos. While they eventually welcomed a second son, Jacob, in 2019, they endured the heartbreak of three miscarriages between the births of their two boys.

In a clip that made tears spring instantly to my eyes, Fisher describes the heartbreak of learning one of his longed-for children was gone.

“She was like, ‘I lost the baby,'” he says, “and I was like, ‘Again?”

It’s soul-crushing.

“You have all these mountaintops, but we hadn’t had a ton of valleys like this,” Fisher continues.

For Underwood’s part, she took her pain to God for a frank, no-holds barred talk.

“I just had an honest conversation with God. I was hurt, and I told him how I felt,” she says through tears. 

I know so many mamas who have had that same tear-filled, sometimes quiet, sometimes raging loud, conversation with God. Miscarriage can seem almost like a cruel joke to anyone longing for a child, but when one aspires to parenthood, it is so very often part of the package of trials and joy. Compounding the pain, it seems one has to keep pregnancy loss “hush hush” too, to keep others from feeling uncomfortable. That’s another burden hurting moms and dads shouldn’t have to bear, so I’m thankful the Fisher-Underwoods have spoken out.

The couple have a purpose for sharing their pain, and it’s more than just to let grieving parents know they aren’t alone. In a statement to Entertainment Tonight Canada, Carrie Underwood explains why they opened up:

“We wanted to do this to share some of our personal journey in hopes that viewers will be inspired by it, and maybe even take one more step in pursuing a relationship with God.”

To catch more of the couple’s story, you can check out the first episode of “Mike and Carrie: God & Country” on iamsecond.com. A new installment is scheduled each Wednesday through June 17. Personally I am looking forward to what else they are going to share about marriage, parenthood, and faith.

Thanks Mike and Carrie, for sharing your pain. You are not alone! To all you mamas and daddies of babies who you never got to hold in your arms, we see you, and we love you.

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Jenny Rapson

Jenny Rapson is a follower of Christ, a wife and mom of three from Ohio and a freelance writer and editor. You can find her at her blog, Mommin' It Up, or follow her on Twitter.
 

Breaking Up With the Bully In the Mirror

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Woman looking in mirror

First, I made friends with myself.  I don’t know when or how it begins, but if you’ve ever battled  insecurity, then you know what it feels like to look at yourself and ask, “Have we met?” For me, it started after I had kids and began to settle into middle age. One morning I flipped the light switch on in the bathroom and startled myself. Who was this strange woman staring back at me in the mirror—the one whose face looked familiar yet somehow more like an older sister or a doppelganger cousin who shared just the right amount of...

Keep Reading

When It Just Doesn’t Feel Like Christmas, Look for the Baby In the Manger

In: Faith, Grief
Nativity scene lit up

I don’t know about you, but each Christmas season I find myself trying to catch the “feeling.”  It seems like every year I hear myself say as December 25th looms around the corner, “It just doesn’t FEEL like Christmas.”  Part of that is living in Florida. I have never felt like I belonged here. I’ve always longed for cooler weather and the changing of seasons. Oh how my heart aches for a “white Christmas” that I fear I’ll never get.  I’ve heard others echo something similar. But it seems like we’ve become obsessed with chasing this evasive feeling that is...

Keep Reading

What Single Moms Really Need

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Mom holding toddler on hip outside on dirt road

No, you’re not a single mom for a weekend. I’ve heard it said at social gatherings, in passing at church, and on social media. Perhaps the words are being uttered in a state of awe as if comparing themselves to valiant warrior princesses, knights in shining armor, heroes.  Usually though, it’s an under-the-breath complaint about being left by their otherwise attentive and loving spouse for the week or weekend. “I’m a single mom this weekend; my husband is on a golfing trip with his brothers.” “My husband is away for work, so I feel like a single mom this week.” ...

Keep Reading

You’re Never Alone in the Trenches of Motherhood

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother holding infant, color photo

This one goes out to all the mamas in the trenches. To the mamas in the kitchen stirring dinner with a baby on their hip. To the ones waking up an hour earlier than the rest of the house to pump after waking up countless times throughout the night to attend to both your toddler and baby. The ones who must take care of business from lobbies, bathroom floors, lunch breaks, and the carpool line. To the mamas who pass on their own birthday presents so their kid’s medical bills can be covered. RELATED: This is the Sacrifice of Motherhood...

Keep Reading

When You Stop Running into My Arms, I Pray You Run to Jesus

In: Faith, Motherhood
Child and mother walking on beach in sunlight

I love seeing the light in my little girl’s eyes when I pick her up from school at the end of the day. Her eyes open wide, and she runs to me loudly saying, “Mommy!” for all to hear. I pick her up and give her a big hug and kiss on her cheek. She smiles ear to ear and knows she is loved and adored. She feels safe in my arms, and I pray that never changes. I want to always be her biggest cheerleader and greatest fan–holding the streamers on the sidelines in shades of brilliant gold encouraging...

Keep Reading

Praying For Your Kids is Holy Work of Motherhood

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mom hugging daughter by bed with open Bible

While excavating Mount Masada in Israel, archeologists discovered something extraordinary . . . a date palm seed. It might not seem like much (especially if you’re like me and totally expected it to be a new dinosaur or something), but this particular seed sat dormant in the dry desert soil for almost 2,000 years. Scientists ended up finding several more seeds like it throughout the Judean desert, and with a little TLC, they were able to sprout not just one but six of them. Six date palm trees, now bearing fruit that hasn’t been seen in two millennia. Incredible, right?...

Keep Reading

Choose to Be a Mother, Not a Martyr

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother holding baby, black-and-white photo

There is a trend in motherhood right now . . . maybe it’s happened for a long time, but now since I am a mom, I am experiencing it: this idea that everything we do as moms makes us a martyr. And honestly, I am guilty here more times than I’m not. RELATED: You’re a Mother, Not a Martyr We have these inner, silent dialogues between us and our husbands, parents, in-laws, and friends. Things we say and think, but they never hear. They compound on each other in the hallways of our hearts before bitterness creeps in without us...

Keep Reading

Motherhood Reminds Me How Much I Need Jesus

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother holding baby in nursery, color photo

Parenting is not only about the work it takes to raise up a child, but it’s also about continuing the work of being raised in Christ. Stripping back our innermost layers of selfishness and laying our pride exposed. Seeing ourselves as the center of our own personal schedule is no longer an option. Feeling like we have power over anything quickly vanishes into thin air. Parenthood pushes us to surrender and accept God’s sovereign control. Parenting sanctifies us.  Parenting shows us our sinful attitudes. When plans are ruined, when another blowout spoils the perfect outfit you chose, when your toddler...

Keep Reading

When Did I Become Such an Angry Mom?

In: Faith, Motherhood
Woman with head in her hands

My oldest children and I had just navigated a tabletop board game. My son lost. My daughter won. I also lost. She’s four. For the record, I was trying my best. We were all putting the game away together when my son grabbed my daughter by the face and yelled, “IT DOESN’T MATTER ANYWAY BECAUSE YOUR BREATH STINKS!” And then, Mount St. Meredith erupted. I (not so gently) removed him from the situation and (not so calmly) insisted that he . . . brush his own teeth. Yep. For the record, I was trying my best. RELATED: Mom Anger: Taming...

Keep Reading

Angel Babies are Heaven’s Gatekeepers

In: Faith, Grief, Loss
Mother and baby silhouette

I never seemed to have the right words. I didn’t have the right words at four years old when my parents lost my 11-month-old brother, and I never seemed to have the right words as I watched family members and close friends lose both the new life growing within their wombs and the beautiful, precious life resting in their weary arms. So, I did what I thought would offer the most comfort. I simply tried to show up and be there the best I could. I shopped for their favorite treats. I dropped meals off on front porches and toys...

Keep Reading