“It hurts so bad, Mom. Help me.” I can still hear my son’s desperate cries of agony echoing in my mind. After several emergency room visits, appointments with various specialists, and lots of tests, we had no answers for the cause of his physical pain. 

I knew deep down an underlying issue hadn’t been discovered yet. So for three years in the dark wilderness, I clung to God’s promise of healing and hope for my son’s body. 

I assured myself that hope is never lost even when circumstances felt bleak. 

Countless times, I held my son and cried alongside him because his pain caused me pain as well. I felt so helpless that I couldn’t do anything else for himI couldn’t make his pain go away. I felt like I failed as his mother and protector. This burden I carried became a giant boulder pushing down on my chest. 

Isaiah 43:2 says, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” 

Notice it says “through” multiple times.

That’s what we have to do: walk through it and endure. 

Through the dark days, I knew God held us in His hands, but I didn’t understand why He allowed this to continue. I grew weary from praying the same prayer of healing again and again. I heard God’s whisper of encouragement telling me to hold on a little longer. I finally threw up my hands to God in complete surrender. I fell to the floor in a new level of desperation saying, “I can’t do this anymore.”

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At that moment, I realized how truly limited we are as humans and that God’s power is limitless. I decided to go all in, completely surrendering my son’s health to God. My heart and posture felt different this time.

I fervently prayed and fasted, asking for God’s wisdom and direction with every medical decision we made. I posted Bible verses and notes all around my room. I prepared my heart as if heading into battle. I laid it all on the table for God to use, believing that offering up everything would prompt God to move.

And it did. 

A surgeon came into the picture who saw something on my son’s scan that might indicate an abnormality. After careful consideration, God assured me we needed to follow the surgeon’s advice and bring my son in for surgery. I continued to pray and fast, waiting expectantly for what God would do for us. I wrote a heartfelt prayer and brought it with me to the hospital to pray over my son as he was under anesthesia. 

James 5:14-15 says, “Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up.”

After three tumultuous years, that’s exactly what happenedmy son was raised up. 

God’s relentless love and unlimited power broke through in that hospital and truly performed a miracle in my son’s body. God’s peace and blessing pierced my soul. The surgeon not only found the culprit that caused my son’s unexplainable pain but treated it so his body could be restored. When I drove home from the hospital, my son was asleep in the back seat. I worshiped God with happy tears covering my weary face.

God is faithful, my friends.

He is always working on your behalf, especially in the wilderness. You can’t see what is up ahead of you, but I promise you there’s a bright light ready to encapsulate your darkest days. 

I don’t know what hardship you’re facing right now, but God is holding you close and moving pieces like a game of chess when you don’t see it. When it seems that you are stuck in the same difficult situation, God is already at work. 

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He sees the bigger picture and knows your entire story. As Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us, God has plans to “prosper you and to give you a hope and a future.” 

Darkness will not win. Hopelessness will not win. 

God wins. 

There is always hope with God. 

He is your comforter, protector, advocate, and the ultimate healer. And He will be right alongside you through the wilderness and every storm and trial you face.

He is holding the world and your life in His precious, loving hands. You can trust God with the outcome.

I’ve learned to live in the expectancy of what faith can do. 

To wait patiently for mountains to be moved. To watch God’s promises play out. 

And when God performs a miracle, never forget it. Write it down. Hold it in your heart. Remember, He is faithful always. 

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

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Kelley Spencer

Kelley is a Christian author, recovering perfectionist, overthinker, gardener, mental health advocate, and mother of two boys (and one in heaven) living in the Midwest. She loves tacos, being active outside, and planning weekend getaways. Her story, Radical Obedience, was published by Dayspring in Sweet Tea for the Soul. Kelley has God-sized dreams of publishing several books and Bible studies designed to reach others for Christ in their most vulnerable, painful circumstances. Grab your Free Anxious Mind Three-Day Devotional for encouragement on your challenging days.

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