I think it was Benjamin Franklin who identified the two things in life we can all count on: death and taxes.
But ol’ Ben forgot one other thing: A Christmas Story marathon on Christmas Day. (Clearly he would have included it if television had been invented in 18th-century America, but you get the point.)
A Christmas Story is one of those cult classic movies you know, even if you don’t know it. We’ve all seen the leg lamp (“A Major Award!”). We’ve heard someone warn, “You’ll shoot your eye out!” We’ve sung “Fa-ra-ra-ra-ra, ra-ra-ra-ra!” Heck, maybe we’ve even stuck a tongue onto a frozen pipe in our younger, unwiser years and lived to tell the unfortunate consequences.
At the very least, most of us have stumbled across the traditional Christmas Day marathon of the 1983 classic on our TVs and found ourselves watching it every single year.
Now (and I can hardly believe I’m about to say this) you can see Ralphie—THE Ralphie—all grown up and starring in A Christmas Story Christmas, streaming on HBO Max November 17th.
That’s right, A Christmas Story is getting a sequel, just in time for Christmas.
Peter Billingsley reprises his role as Ralphie Parker, the bespectacled boy who lived on Cleveland Street and just wanted one thing for Christmas: a BB gun. But not just any BB gun—the official Red Ryder, carbine action, 200-shot, range model air rifle, with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time.
While the original film is set in the 1940s, the sequel will take place in the 1970s with grown-up Ralphie returning to his house on Cleveland Street after the passing of his father. He’ll have his family by his side and try to give his kids a magical Christmas just like the one we all know so well.
The official teaser aims straight for the nostalgic heart we share for the original:
I am wondering about a few things though: Did Ralphie’s mother ever get a hot meal? Is Randy still stuck in his ridiculous snowsuit? Did The Old Man ever find any glue to salvage his precious leg lamp, and is that tapestry of obscenities he wove still hanging in space over Lake Michigan?
So. Many. Questions.
One thing we do know about the sequel? We’ll see more familiar faces than just Ralphie’s. Little brother Randy (Ian Petrella), pals Flick (Scott Schwartz) and Schwartz (R.D. Robb), and even the bully Scut Farkus himself (Zack Ward) are listed in the film’s cast.
The movie teaser ends with grown-up Ralphie putting those iconic, round glasses on to his smiling eyes, and a simple invitation: Join the fun. We triple dog dare you.
Oh yes, HBO Max, this ’80s baby will be there (possibly in a fuzzy pink bunny suit) come November 17th . . . you can count on it.
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