If Instagram is a true representation of humanity, (and we can all agree that it is, right?) then I am sub-human.
I don’t like to travel.
Yes, yes. I know that life is all about collecting experiences and not things, but when you’re on a one-income budget like we are, the airfare and hotels and the packing (for the love, the PACKING!) pale in comparison to some fleece-lined Athleta leggings that have been in my wish-cart for months.
If I were given the option of seeing the Vatican, the Mona Lisa and the Swiss Alps OR spending an entire weekend in a quiet cabin with Netflix and coffee and Cheez-Its… I’ll pick the Cheez-Its every time.
I cannot believe I am alone in this, so please give me a holler if you are staring at your screen saying “Solidarity, sister.” For those of you who don’t get it, I have FINALLY been able to collect my fragmented feelings about travel into a lovely word bouquet, as I have figured out what the struggle is:
I hate missing out, but I love to be alone.
In other words, if I were alone in a cabin with my coffee and the mountains and the silence, I’d never feel left out … because I’d be with myself … alone.
I was talking to a friend about vacations and she commented, “For someone who doesn’t like vacations, you sure rocked it in Mexico last year.” It’s true. I did. I heartily partook of the all-inclusive buffets and margaritas. Stayed up late buzz-laughing with the friends we traveled with. Wore a straw fedora. LEFT THE RESORT AND WENT INTO THE MARKET. Really enjoyed being kid-free with my husband.
I totally rocked it. And had a genuinely good time.
When I am with other people, I can be talked into doing all kinds of things I’d never do alone. Nothing illegal or sinful, mind you. But my FOMO keeps me with the group even when my inner introvert is like, “Girl, no.”
Recognizing this has been very helpful in navigating my internal struggles. Because this isn’t really about travel. It’s about personalities, preferences and stepping outside the proverbial comfort zone.
I will tell you this: Treading water next to my good friend in a vast, untamable ocean while we looked out to the endless watery horizon; she, loudly declaring the glory of the Lord in His Creator-wisdom and I, breathless from the sheer wonder of it all … it’s a memory that can bring tears to my eyes. I will treasure it forever and I don’t regret it one bit.
But I’ll still take the lonely cabin in the mountains with the Cheez-It’s sometime.