Dear daughter,

As you grow, relationships with other girls will often be complicated and sometimes feel discouraging. Friendships can be life-giving and beautiful. They can also be dramatic and draining. 

Here’s a little trick to understanding the ebb and flow of friendships in your life. 

Think of friendships like blue jeans. 

They might be in your life for just a season. They can be trendy, but not last very long.

Sometimes you will outgrow them. Sometimes they won’t fit, and you will have to put them back. 

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Sometimes they are brand new, but you will immediately know they were made for you. 

Maybe along the way, they’ll get stained or ripped. You won’t be able to keep them anymore because the damage was just too big. And that’s okay, baby. It’s okay to let those go.

Sometimes there will be friendships (and jeans), you want so badly, but it’s just not going to work. No one fits into every pair of jeans they try on and friendships are no different. Don’t modify yourself to make it work. 

But, then there will be those friendships you will want to hold onto. Here’s how you will know if you’ve found the right ones. The ones to keep.

They are worn. They are familiar. They are your favorites. They will make you feel comfortable and confident. Good friends build you up, and you do the same in return.

These friendships will still have some ragged parts. Parts that have been tested, but it gives them more character. All the best friendships and the best blue jeans have rough patches. But, they are still your favorite. 

The best friendships—and the best jeans—will be perfect for both adventures and just living everyday life.

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I want you to know your drawer probably won’t have a lot of those perfect, favorite jeans, and your heart might not have a lot of favorite friendships either. There will be just enough for each season of your life. Please always remember the number you have does not speak to your worth. 

Life is too short, sweet girl, to settle for the jeans or the friendships that don’t fit you well. 

Always remember that you are beautiful. You are loved. You are a good friend who deserves good friendships in return. 

And if it ever feels like nothing fits, come on home and you’ll always fit perfectly with your mama.

Love, 
Mom

Originally published on the author’s Facebook page