So God Made a Mother Collection ➔

I lost a friend a few years ago—a best friend. It wasn’t to death or tragedy; it was more like a breakup. But it was still the loss of a genuine, BFF, you-are-my-rock friendship. The reason doesn’t really matter, and I imagine her side of the story looks very different than mine anyway, so it’s all relative. But it hurt.

It broke me up inside to the point where I felt consumed with anger, sadness, guilt, bitterness—all ugly things.

A boyfriend at the time was all about transcendence, auras, and guiding energy, and he convinced me to talk to a psychic, probably so I would stop talking about it with him.

RELATED: Life is Too Short for Fake Cheese and Fake Friends

Most of what the psychic told me was hocus pocus. I would marry a tall, blond Scandinavian. Wrong. I would have two girls. Wrong. But when she got to my friend, she said something that changed my life: “Your relationship has served its purpose. It’s time to bless her and send her on her way.”

Whoa.

After the months of mental anguish, wondering if I should reach out to my friend, wondering if she would reach out to me, wondering how to fix something in which I felt I had taken the high road and stayed true to myself, my values, and my self-worth. Do I put my integrity aside to save this relationship? Do I apologize for something when I believe with all my heart I’ve done nothing wrong?

Never had it occurred to me that some things don’t need to be fixed. Some things simply need to be let go.

With other friendships, I did not spend nearly enough time trying to nurture and build the relationships. I took our bonds for granted and assumed our closeness would withstand the tests of time, life changes, and priority shifts. I discovered this can lead to two results.

RELATED: I Can’t Be Everyone’s Chick-fil-A Sauce

One, the relationship ultimately dries out, as expected. No hard feelings, no animosity, the world keeps moving forward and our friendship does not. Or, two, the bond endures despite the obstacles, and over time and with new opportunities to reconnect, it’s like no time has passed at all. We find we’re still the same loving, caring friends we had been all along. These are the friendships we strive our whole lives to find. These are the friends we can count on.

I read somewhere that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Not all friendships are meant to endure, and that’s OK. As much as I wish I could make everyone happy and be lifelong friends with everyone, it’s not realistic.

I’m going to embrace my lifetime relationships. I will encourage my season relationships. And I’m going to be grateful for my reason relationships.

I wish nothing but the best for my old friend. Our relationship served an important purpose and is now complete. I often wonder if she thinks of me, as I still think of her. I hope she, too, has found closure in our relationship. And I’m grateful for the time we did have. It made me a better person. But it’s time to move on.

RELATED: When You Realize a Friend Doesn’t Feel the Same Way About You

I’ve made room for other friends in my life, great friends who build me up and support me for who I am. Some of them are indeed here for a reason or a season, but hopefully, a few of them fit into the lifetime category.

To all my friends, old and new, thank you for being a part of my life, whether our friendship was for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

Previously published on the author’s blog

Celeste

About Celeste Yvonne: Celeste is a popular blogger and personality who writes about all things parenting. Celeste openly speaks about her struggles with alcohol, and two years ago she announced her commitment to becoming a sober mom for the sake of her health and her family. Her piece about a playdate that went sideways when another mom started serving mimosas has reached over 14 million people. Celeste lives in Reno, Nevada with her husband and two boys ages 3 and 5. Follow Celeste at http://www.facebook.com/theultimatemomchallengehttp://www.instagram.com/andwhatamom or http://www.andwhatamom.com

Dear Friend, I Don’t Want To Lose You

In: Friendship
Two women smiling, color photo

I’m sorry I don’t text you like I should. I’m sorry I don’t call you like I should. I’m sorry I don’t check in to see how you are. I’m sorry this friendship can feel one-sided at times. I’m sorry I’m so distant. The truth is I’m struggling. I’m struggling with life. I’m struggling with finances. I’m struggling with trying to please everyone and do everything. RELATED: Check on Your “Strong” Friend, She’s Faking it The problem is I try to please everyone—everyone who doesn’t matter. My problem is I’ve gotten so content with our friendship that I know you’ll...

Keep Reading

Not All Friendships Are Meant for Forever

In: Friendship
Sad woman looking at phone

There are friends for a reason, a season, and a lifetime. When we embark on a friendship, we have high hopes that those beginning seeds will blossom into forever. But the time and nurturing required of that kind of friendship is reserved for a few, special people who mesh into our souls and lives seamlessly year after year. There are reasons friendships are short-lived, and those are often obvious. Maybe it was to fulfill a need for you—whether physically or emotionally. These relationships are short, usually sweet, and the ending comes as swiftly as it began.  RELATED: Our Friendship Was...

Keep Reading

This House is Far From Perfect, But its Doors Are Always Open

In: Friendship, Living
Partially painted wall, color photo

This is my kitchen and dining area in all its unfinished glory. Just one project of many that I don’t have much time to work on but am working away at, little by little. I’m tempted to feel embarrassed about it and not want people to see it. However, I also want to regularly invite people into my home, and I believe hospitality is very important no matter what the state of your home is. I’ve decided I won’t let a messy house, dog hair, or unfinished projects keep me from having people over. Because it’s not about the house...

Keep Reading

I Want to Be a Friend Who Listens

In: Friendship, Living
A group of friends smiling at the camera, color photo

“So then, the kids were so out of sorts since they had stayed up late, that I just totally lost it and . . .” “Oh my gosh, I know! Mine were the same way Saturday night! Everybody was crying and . . .” And no one was able to finish their story. Sound familiar? As a person who likes to talk, a lot, I’m guilty of this conversation style. I get stuck in my own head, and I fail to listen. When a friend is telling a story, I immediately have the thought, “Yes! Me too! Same here!” and...

Keep Reading

Some Friendships Aren’t Meant to Last Forever

In: Friendship
Women walking together

Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold. As a young girl, I remember hearing this song and not truly understanding what it meant at the time. As an adult, I see the value in it. True friendships, especially for women, are priceless and worth more than any amount of silver or gold. We are bonded, like a family or community. The friendships we have as children and the friendships we gain as we get older are not the same. Some of the best relationships in my life are with my childhood friends....

Keep Reading

Can You Be a Gap Filler?

In: Friendship, Motherhood
two women talking with coffee cups in hands

When my sister-in-law had her first baby, feelings of jealousy and anger rose to the surface and caught me off guard. As a mother of four, I expected to feel only happiness for her as she became a mother. But, while I did feel happy for her, I didn’t expect the raw emotions of a year prior, when we welcomed our twins, to bubble to the surface.  I felt jealous her husband had four months of paid leave. My husband had none with any of our four children. I felt jealous that she had a village. Her parents, my in-laws,...

Keep Reading

Find the People Who Will Root for You

In: Friendship, Kids, Motherhood
Empty sports field, color photo

My son participated in tryouts out for a new travel soccer team at the end of a recreational fall soccer season one chilly evening in November. He has been playing recreational soccer since he was three years old when we started with the local club. He has been asking about joining a travel team since kindergarten. In recent seasons, I watched him struggle in the recreational league. I watched him wanting a little bit more in the sport as he developed his passion—he was ready to grow.  We knew he loved soccer, and it was something he had always wanted...

Keep Reading

I Know My Friends Aren’t Bothered by My Messy House, but I Am

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Sad woman by laundry pile

My house screams at me. It screams to clear off the kitchen counters, to put away the clean clothes, to organize the shoe collection in our entry, to gather up the scattered toys, to sweep the crumbs up, to place the throw pillows back on the couch, to clean off the table—you get the idea. Everything in my sight speaks volumes to the state it does not want to be in, for the chaos it is imposing.  Keeping home is a labor of love and never of balance for me. Everything that is cleaned, made, or organized will always get...

Keep Reading

Friends Can Be a Sanctuary

In: Friendship, Grief
Group of friends hugging

A sanctuary is defined as anywhere people go for peaceful tranquility or introspection. My friends became my sanctuary when my husband, Frank, died. They became my refuge and my safe place. Friendship is one of the most wonderful gifts in this world. It is beautiful, comforting, ever-changing, and, for me, a fixed point.  My friends seemed to know exactly what I needed and when I needed it. Their love and constant support got me through the worst of times and gave me the courage and confidence I needed to move forward.  I could never give an adequate thank you to...

Keep Reading

What If the Woman Who Seems to Have It All Actually Admires You?

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood

I’ve known her for a long time, and as long as I’ve known her, she’s always been beautiful. Beautiful on the inside and even more beautiful on the outside. Her makeup is perfectly done, her hair with not a strand out of place. And her clothes? Chic. She is well put together, always in vogue. While I have recycled the same clothes for the past five years, she is on point with the latest trends. She can even rock a pair of sweatpants. Her pictures on Facebook and Instagram posts confirm this as well. (She also has a successful career,...

Keep Reading

5 Secrets to the

BEST Summer Ever!

FREE EMAIL BONUS

Creating simple summer memories

with your kids that will  last a lifetime