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I remember . . . 

I remember the feeling of you grabbing my hand for the first time, showing me that you were into me, too.

I remember not being able to sleep, eat, or think straight because of the butterflies that swarmed my stomach.

I remember the feeling I had the first time you told me you loved me.

I remember what it was like the night you asked me to marry you and I couldn’t believe God would give me such a good man.

I remember what it was like the day we got married and I realized I got to have you for life.

I remember what it was like moving in together and the comforting feeling of waking up next to each other.

My husband, I remember these things so fondly.

I remember them as we now go through the hustle and bustle of our busy day. Sometimes just giving a quick hug or smile as we walk past each other in the kitchen or hallway, a peck before we leave if we’re lucky.

I remember those early days when we now both wake up so sleep deprived, not sure how we will make it through the day. And by the time we are both back home, we are often too tired to really do anything. Just to wake up feeling the same way the next morning.

I remember those early days when I look around and see books, blocks and toys scattered around every room. I remember them as we change more diapers in a day then I can count.

Honestly, I miss those early days sometimes.

But I also remember that although the passion and excitement looked different then, I really do love you more now. I really do.

I will always remember those early days. The days where bliss and fairytale love seemed to exist.

But I will always remember these days too, these less glamorous, more exhausting days. The ones where you rub my back because being pregnant and having a toddler is so physically draining.

I will always remember these days when you pray for me when I feel anxious and scared because I genuinely don’t know what I’m doing.

I will always remember how our once fun date nights have turned into trips to Sam’s Club with our kids, and devouring our romantic dinner of the pizza/soda combo.

I will always remember these days where you still think of me in the little ways, and still try to pursue me like you did back then.

These days really are the good ones.

These days that test our love really are the ones that matter most.

I’m so grateful for those early days, but I’ll always remember these days, too.

And years from now, when things slow down and it’s just you and me again, I know I will look back at these days and miss them. And I’ll also be astonished at how much my love will have grown for you even more.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

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Kelli Bachara

Kelli Bachara is a wife and mom to two sweet kiddos. She is a mental health therapist, writer, and podcaster. Kelli loves her Goldendoodle, coffee, and this beautiful thing called life. You can find her at www.kellibachara.com.

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