A Gift for Mom! 🤍

My 5-year-old just recently went back to dance class.

It’s been more than two months since she’s been in the studio or at school for that matter, and she’s been struggling. A global pandemic is a hard concept to grasp for an adult, let alone a child, and I can tell the isolation is seeping into her behavior. Children are social creatures. Much of what they learn at this age is shaped by interpersonal communication. So when her dance studio provided a very detailed plan about reopening, my husband and I decided to let her return.

The dance studio seemed to have it all figured out. They had squares for each student to stand in. Children would practice only stationary movements. The barres were off-limits. No one would touch each other. Everyone would have their own water bottles. Parents had to stay outside of the building. Hand sanitizer was spritzed on the palms of each child entering and exiting. It was a very detailed plan.

What they didn’t plan for, however, was how quickly all of this could fall by the wayside.

The first thing my 5-year-old did when we got to the studio was run to her best friend. Both threw their tiny little arms around each other and hugged for what felt like an eternity. The entire interaction felt like it was in slow motion as my eyes widened with panic.

RELATED: “I Just Want it To Be Normal, Mom.”

The other little girl’s mother looked at me and I looked at her, and we just sighed. You can’t prevent this. What are we supposed to do? Peel them apart? Tell them they can’t be excited to see each other after months apart? Scold them? We can try to reinforce hygiene and social distancing until we’re blue in the face, but these are complex conversations for young children. It’s near impossible to fully enforce.

So how will teachers and schools handle dozens of these little ones in the classroom come fall?

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently released its “considerations for schools” as districts grapple with how to handle the upcoming academic year. The guidelines have been abuzz in parenting circles as moms and dads across the world teeter back and forth with what to do.

Some of the “considerations” include modified classroom layouts: keeping desks apart when possible and facing the same direction. Limiting the use of shared items, such as “electronic devices, toys, books, and other games or learning aids.”

Playgrounds and cafeterias should be a thing of the past and virtual activities should take the place of field trips, performances, and assemblies.

Physical guides should be taped on the floors and signs should be displayed so children stay on one-way routes and six feet apart when in line.

It’s almost as if this was copied and pasted out of a sci-fi novel from the future when aliens take over the planet and treat humans like lab rats.

Parents’ heads are spinning, mine included.

RELATED: CDC Offers Guidance For Reopening Schools—And My Heart is Breaking For Our Kids

Should we start homeschooling? Is virtual school a better option? What about those who need to return to work? How does that play out? And what about the little ones who need those social interactions to thrive and learn? Not everyone has a playgroup lined up. Don’t even get me started on how this will impact children of lower socioeconomic status because I could go on for days.

And someone, anyone, please explain how a teacher could possibly be expected to keep a classroom on task when children won’t be permitted time for recess on a playground? We know recess and free play matter. Parents would be screaming over this in ordinary circumstances.

But these aren’t ordinary circumstances. As the phrase “new normal” gets pounded into our psyches, our hands as parents feel tied. It seems almost as if we’re in a lose-lose situation.

We so desperately want to keep our children safe, but we also want to nurture their growth.

We don’t want them to fall behind. We want them to be educated. We want them to be healthy. Schools are facing hard decisions, and parents, well, we make the final call. It’s a huge burden to carry tacked on to the million or so other stressors we’re facing amid this pandemic.

And no one, I repeat, NO ONE is making this easy. Conflicting opinions abound. What we know about the novel coronavirus changes nearly every day and all of a sudden we’ve all become statisticians, calculating just how likely we are to contract the virus, spread the virus, or die from the virus. So many of us don’t know who or what to believe, and social media feels more like a battlefield that a fun place to reconnect with friends.

It’s overwhelming, and when you add on the weight of making decisions for another little human it feels like an anvil has dropped on our heads. But instead of this episode of Looney Tunes ending, we have to make a legitimate decision that could impact our child for years to come.

RELATED: It’s Our Job as Parents to Carry the Weight of the World So Our Kids Don’t Have To

What do we do?

For now, my plan is to continue to watch happens as states reopen. These next few weeks feel critical as we wait to see what happens as people venture back out into their communities. Data lags, so it will take time. School registration is in July where I live, and I’ll likely register my little one for kindergarten. However, there’s still time to react, and there’s still time for things to change.

Let’s just hope that change happens in the right direction.

For now, I’m here to say this: Parents, you aren’t alone. This is heavy, but we’ll get through it. Children are resilient. But is there a clearcut answer? That’s, of course, like anything else these days—up for debate.

Previously published on Medium.com

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Jessica Saggio Forgino

Jessica Saggio Forgino is a New Orleans-area mom and journalist. She writes about topics relating to parenting, grief, humor, and the "extraordinarily ordinary" parts of life. 

Letting You Go Is Still So Hard

In: Grown Children, Motherhood
Walkway toward water at sunset

Nothing really prepares you for the day your child leaves the house. Last September, my husband and I moved our 18-year-old son into his dorm room. Right after that, he was swept away into all things orientation, and we began our 1,000-mile journey back home. Leaving this beautiful human I raised and spent all those years with felt foreign. During our final hug goodbye, despite trying to hold in my pain, I broke out in huge, ugly, guttural tears. Our drive home was a long two days. It took every fiber of my being not to turn around. Returning to...

Keep Reading

Behind Every Smiling Graduate Is a Mother Letting Go

In: Grown Children, Motherhood
Mom and grown son smiling

Every year, millions of American families send their children off to their freshman year of college. Their pictures dot our social media feeds. Images of excited students holding collegiate pennants, maybe wearing a hat or holding up their school’s hand sign with beaming smiles. Their parents post excited words about futures and hopes and dreams. One chapter closing. Another opening. A new beginning. So why am I struggling so much? Why does this feel more like a loss than a gain? Why are my tears always on edge, threatening to spill over each time I think about August and what...

Keep Reading

Life Lessons from My Grown Children

In: Faith, Motherhood
Two women's hands on teacups

“Don’t limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time.” – Rabindranath Tagore Quietly communing with a loved one in the early morning hours is such an intimate and precious time. Visiting with one’s grown child when all is dark and still is one of life’s purest pleasures. I remember the conversation clearly. My daughter’s husband, small children, and father were all asleep as we whispered and chatted. She and I are both fidgeters by nature, unable to be still for long. This inner restlessness must be remedied, and we are compelled by biology to...

Keep Reading

As a Medical Mom, I Measure Growth Differently

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little girl climbing outside

In most homes, the marks on the wall are a simple celebration of time passing. They are pencil lines that track how many inches a child has gained since their last birthday. But in our home, those marks represent a much deeper, more complex story. When your child lives with multiple hormone deficiencies, growth is never just “natural”—it is a carefully managed medical achievement. However, as any medical mom knows, the story doesn’t end at the top of the head. It begins deep inside, with a tiny gland that isn’t sending the right signals. Having multiple hormone deficiencies is often...

Keep Reading

Hannah Harper Is Every Mom with Babies in Her Arms and a Dream In Her Heart

In: Living, Motherhood
Hannah Harper American Idol winner sings with her young son on her lap

By now, you’ve probably seen the posts flooding your feed: A young mom. Three little boys. A guitar strap embroidered with her children’s drawings. And a crown. When Hannah Harper won American Idol this week, moms everywhere erupted. And honestly? Same. There is something collective about watching a stay-at-home mom win on such a large stage. The celebrations have been pouring in. Moms, we can do it. She didn’t abandon her dreams. She went for it. And all of that is true, and all of that is worth celebrating. But I want to add something to the celebration. Not to...

Keep Reading

Watching Your Children Build the Life You Prayed For Is Beautiful

In: Grown Children, Motherhood
Mother dancing with son at wedding

“I love you, Mom.” “Hmmm?” (A little louder) “I love you.” “I love you too…so very much.” I’d been deep in thought, listening to the lyrics we were slowly dancing to. I knew this moment of ours was supposed to be the time to say all the things, but this boy and I had already said all the things, so the song the deejay played—written by Lori McKenna and sung by Tim McGraw—enchanted our ears: When the dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you When the work you put in is realized Let yourself feel the pride but Always stay humble...

Keep Reading

I Lost My Daughter on Mother’s Day: 3 Truths I’m Believing Today

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Woman and young daughter smiling

Editor’s note: This post discusses child loss Child loss changes Mother’s Day. My 19-month-old, Julia, died suddenly on Mother’s Day in 2024. Three months later, her autopsy revealed she had B-cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (B-ALL, also known as SUDNIC). Julia died a week after we did an embryo transfer at an IVF clinic in an attempt to have a second child. We found out three days after Julia’s death that the embryo did not make it either. Six months later, we did another embryo transfer that succeeded, and I now have an 8-month-old daughter, Lucy Mei (“Mei Mei” means “little...

Keep Reading

If You Give a Mom a Bouquet…

In: Motherhood
Woman arranging bouquet of pink flowers on table

If you give a mom a bouquet… She goes to grab a vase to put it in. As she grabs the vase, she also grabs the duster because she knows the spot for the vase is probably dusty and she has guests coming for dinner. As she begins dusting, she notices the stack of books that needs to go back on the shelf. When she gets to the shelf, she sees the bendy action figures in battle formation that need to go back in the bin. When she gets to the bin, she spots the toy food that needs to...

Keep Reading

Here In the Liminal Space of Parenting

In: Motherhood
Woman in tunnel

It’s Friday night at 8:00. The intermittent snoring of an 80-pound lap dog is the only thing slicing through the silence of my home. It feels empty, and there is a stillness in the air. I have nowhere to be; there is nobody waiting to be picked up. I’m staring at the empty takeout boxes from dinner sitting on the coffee table. There was no need to cook a big meal; it was just the two of us, my husband and me, sitting together wistfully in this liminal space of parenting. It is the quiet place between an empty nest...

Keep Reading

Mothers Are the Givers

In: Motherhood
Mom embracing young daughter

As we were decorating the tree last Christmas, my son dug to the bottom of a box and pulled out a Snoopy ornament. He set it off to the side quickly and continued his rifling. But I noticed the faint crack along the red jukebox that Snoopy stood beside. In an instant, I was standing back in the kitchen of our first home watching my son wander in to ask, in the cutest toddler voice, if he could “pwess” the button on the ornament to play the music. With gleeful excitement, he pressed too hard. The ornament slipped from his...

Keep Reading